"What I hate about you"

Hate is a small yet, powerful word. Hate can mean you don't like one thing or person or animal or place or anything that is concrete or even abstract. There are two types of hate. Hate literally hating as in I hate cockroaches. The other hate is more of like the faking hate. I hate you (when in fact the real meaning is 'I want you to notice me therefore I love you'). This short piece of literature or whatever you call it since I don't count essays as literature is about those two meanings of hate.

I hate you. I hate the way you can make me smile even though I'm just staring at you far away and I think you don't even notice me. I hate the part that I don't know how you knew that I like you. I hate you because you're the first guy I've ever liked. I hate you simply because I do. I hate the way you're eyes are so brown. I hate the part where you are eight years older than me. I hate it when you say hi to me first when I past by and that sometimes I can't even respond to you. I hate it when you approach me and begin conversation and my mind goes blank because I seriously have no idea what to say. I hated it when you chatted with me on YM and asked me to share something with you which I think is completely humiliating. I hate remembering the day you gave me your number and told me 'text text tayo' (Let's text). Did you know that it took me three days to get over the fact that I had your number. I hate the day you told me that as soon as I get home I'll text you that I got home. I hated riding caterpillar with you because I kept on sliding to you even though I tried my best to stop. I hate giving you gifts. I hate the months of January-March because those were the months we got closer (I think). I hate remembering the day when we were at the Faculty door and I had my hands pressed to my mouth because I was so shy and you said that I should stop being like that when I'm around you. I hate how I want to keep on talking to you and not end. I hate stalking you. I hate keeping your picture in my iPod. I hate how I play the guitar and think if you're gonna like the song I'm playing or not.

I had a lot of things to hate about. I always wonder a good lot of things like the way I always wondered what you were feeling. I had no problem wondering where you are since you always posted them in Facebook and Twitter. Most of all I wondered what you felt when you learned that I like you. It's hard to jump to conclusions when you hardly know the person. I don't know anything. I'll let you know everything. The reason I like you was because you were the first to recognize me. You made me smile. You had a way to make me feel like a flipping dog inside. I like you because you're the reason I can sing love songs without feeling hurt and sad.

Part two of the hates; I hate it when you read my twitter posts. I hate it and I am going to admit to myself that I hate it when you write about someone else (this is a secret, dear reader). I hate it when you're offline. I hate it when my sister says we're somewhere in between. I hate it when people (students, actually) tell that we're mutual when in fact I know it's not true and will not happen. I hate writing this essay because I know that the words I'm writing are not enough to tell you what I really feel and what I want to convey to you. I hate not replying to you because I'm testing if you're gonna feel guilty and when I looked at my phone you texted me because I didn't reply to you. I hate the part where you know how to speak Fookien and I want to ask you to teach me but I can't because I am so shy and I think that you won't agree anyway.

Do you know about all of these? I know you don't but partly I know you do. I want to know what you're thinking and I don't want to. That's what I hate about me. I don't know what to do when it's all about you

(Tell me what you think or not if you don't want because you think this so corny)