Crush #1

I can remember my first crush. I was eleven years old and in the 6th grade. His name was Casey. The only reason I can remember for having a crush on Casey was that he was cute. I thought he was so cute. He played soccer. He was popular-ish. He sat a few desks away from me. I was somewhat stalker-esque in my crush. I didn't actually know where he lived, only the neighborhood. I was too shy to even talk to him. No actual conversations happened. Unless you count something like,

Casey - "Can I borrow a pencil?"

Me – "Sure." I give him a pencil.

Scintillating, I know. Or was his request code for "can I sit by you at lunch?" Probably not, since he ever gave the pencil back.

Crush #1.5

I'm not sure I should really count this as a crush, but I was quite enamored. Ricky Schroder was to die for! I mean, he was so adorable! I admit to wasting money on magazines and filling up a bulletin board with pictures cut out from them. But, considering I knew he was just a fantasy it was pretty easy to let go.

Crush #2

Junior High. What an adventure. I had just moved and although living in the same city, I was in a new school district. I only knew two or three people in the whole school. I was able to make friends and although I wasn't popular, my friends and I had our own kind of fun. I was in the orchestra and actually made the flag team. We only marched in two parades, one for the city and one at an amusement park. That's when I first noticed Nicholas. He was on the bus coming home from that park, sitting across the isle. He played trumpet. He was so handsome. I really liked his black hair and blue eyes. (I know those looks seem very cliché in the romance department, but he really did have that coloring! I kid you not.) His features were still a bit boyish, but had chiseling promise. Of course I was too shy to talk to him. Never spoke to him at all, actually. And the closest I ever came to him physically was when he and a friend of his were walking behind me on the way home from school. They were walking really fast, though so I let them pass me. And get this, his friend he was walking with? I heard a rumor that he had a crush on me. Yeah, uh huh, right. Nicholas did end up at the same high school I went to, but my crush had waned by then. Besides, he decided to be on the football team instead of the marching band. Traitor.

Crush #3

My freshman year in high school was one of fun, excitement and adventure! At the end of 8th grade I had tried out for the high school flag team, but this was called Colorguard. We marched with the band on a football field. Let me tell you this, it takes talent to be able to march, dance, and spin a flag all at the same time. That was also the year of Vlad. How do you resist tall, buff and Nordic? I'm telling you this guy was a serious body builder. Of course he was on the football team, but he also threw discus and shot put for track and field. His arms? Gulp. Yeah. He was actually in my first class of the day and because the teacher didn't have a seating chart I ended up next to Vlad every once in a while. Yup, you guessed it, too shy. I hid behind my hair to hide any and all blushes and spoke not a word. I had a friend that threw discus and shot put on the girls' track and field team and she said he was really nice. Still, too shy so of course, nothing happened.

Crush #3.5

Jake was an almost fly by night crush. One minute he was there and I thought he was so cute. Then next he was gone and without someone to actually crush on how can a crush survive?

Crush #4

I think I had a crush my junior year in high school. I'm trying to remember… yeah, it was a crush on guy in my English class. Carl sat next to me and one of my girlfriends sat behind him. Turns out he had a crush on one of my other girlfriend's friends. I hope you were able to follow that. Anyway, yeah, I liked him, but I also wanted to be his friend so I helped set them up. I'm not exactly sure how it went, but I think when it came around to Senior year, he liked me and my crush on him had solidified into friendship only.

Crush #5

So, senior year in high school was fun and kinda weird at the same time. I mean it was a bit drama infested. Carl liked me and I only liked him as a friend. Meanwhile, I developed another crush. Actually, it's more like a repeat crush. Vlad again. We were in the same economics class and ended up sitting my each other. At first I was fine. We got to know each other while sitting in class. Then it happened. I crushed on Vlad again. The first time it was just because he was drool worthy, but this time was even more dangerous. Why you ask? Because he really and truly was the nicest guy you have ever met. He even let me borrow his Journey tape because I wanted to copy one of the songs off of it.

Vlad – "Let me guess. You want 'Open Arms.'" (which happened to be the theme song for a dance that year..)

Me – "No, I want 'Who's Crying Now."

He smiled at me! Actually, we became very good friends. A girl friend of mine, Vlad and Carl actually used to hang out together. We even found a roller rink and went skating. We had fun. We drifted apart after high school, but that's to be expected.

"Crush #6

My first semester at community college was interesting. I was carpooling with Carl. And who lived on his street? Garry. It was rumored that Garry had a crush on me my freshman year, but I couldn't do anything about it. I would tell Carl to tell hi to Garry for me and one day he got tired of it and said, "Say hi to him yourself." So I did. I wasn't as shy at this time as I had been in high school, but I never expected him to ask me out. I didn't see myself as particularly pretty. I thought I was more of a "Plain Jane." Well, after dropping by Garry's house a couple times to say hi, he asked me out. We dated that whole summer. It was fun. But that was it. Just fun, no sparks. Even though he talked about getting married, I couldn't see it myself. And I have to admit that I didn't cry when he ditched me. I was just confused. But I got back at him. I saran-wrapped his beloved mustang.

Crush #7

My second year of community college was slightly less exciting than the first. But I did meet Dewey. He was handsome. I had noticed that my shyness was less if I was friends with guys and not letting on that I was interested. That was how I got to know Dewey. He was nice too, though a little on the weird side. His interests and what he was studying at school was foreign to me. But it was cool and he enjoyed it. He was getting over a break up at the time so I decided to be his friend, even though I did have a crush on him. After a night class we had together he asked if I wanted to go to the amusement park he worked at for employee night. We went and were only there for a couple of hours, but had fun. I even beat him at air hockey. We stayed friends for a long time (and my crush wained) until he got married and his wife didn't like me for some reason. I couldn't understand it. I was visiting them with my boyfriend and was no threat to her. She was weird and because I didn't want to cause any trouble I stopped contacting him.

Crush #8

Brandon was a man. And he was nice. And he was handsome. And I crushed hard. I guess I was a little too good at hiding my feelings because he started dating my best friend. Enough said.

After Brandon I decided to take a break. I literally willed myself not to crush on any guy. I focused on being friends with them and nothing more. I had lots and tons of fun, but only as a friend and a buddy. That lasted for five years. I even ignored the fact that I heard one of my friends had a crush on me and just stayed his friend. He got over it and got married to someone else. I wasn't disappointed. His wife is cool! After five years I met…

Crush #9

Andrew. He was tall, dark and handsome with the brightest, most friendly smile I had seen in a long time. I'll tell you what, smiles tell a lot about a person. So do friends who inadvertently spy on your crush. Andrew was amazing. He was charitable. He was talented. I met him while doing a community theater production. I was in the chorus. He was supposed to be too, then got an actual speaking roll and was understudy for the main roll. And I was so looking forward to getting to know him during rehearsals, but that didn't happen since he wasn't in the Chorus anymore. Because I hadn't had a crush in five or so years I was back to being shy. I did speak to him on occasion and my best friend teased him while I was around, but I don't think he ever knew I liked him so much. He really was a nice, genuine guy, but now that I think about it, probably pretty clueless as well.