A mass of figures draped in black, represented the loss that I saw before me. The only sounds were the tears falling to the ground and the priest's sermon. All around, the trees bow their heads to listen to the priest drone on and on, their branches reaching out to embrace the mourners. The fine mist penetrating their skin to chill their bones. Family, friends, and colleagues join together to sing a hymn as the coffin is slowly lowered into the ground. The words that they sang turned into a tuneless wail as heavy hearts fill throats, and sobbing reigns.
No one saw me, standing at the very back, all alone. I stared longingly at the figures gathered around the grave, and felt a stab of disconcerting grief. I longed to stand in the centre of that group and be greeted by them like family. I looked down at my feet as I felt a cold tear trickle down my cheek.
Once the last group of mourners left, I crept slowly to the grave side. I looked down at the coffin and felt my eyes well up again, and then the tears started to fall. I collapsed in a heap at the foot of the grave.
"Why didn't you stand with the rest of us?" Whispered a voice from behind me. I turned and found my father's brother, Luke. "It was your father's funeral after all."
"Yes uncle it was," I said looking down at my father's coffin "and you know why I didn't, they don't even know that I exist."
He reached out to pull me up to my feet, wrapped his arms around me and wiped the tears off my cheek with the tip of his long, delicate finger. My father had an affair with my mother and this action resulted with me. Only one person alive knows who my father is and that man is standing in front of me.
"You are not all alone, I will look after you." Luke said trying to comfort me.
But his comforting words didn't help. My mother had died when I was six, and now my father is gone as well. I am all alone now. Yes I will have people around me but I will still be all alone. I collapsed down on the muddy, cold ground. I sat there kneeling at the foot of the grave. I could feel the rain pelting me with cold water droplets, but I didn't care. My father is dead and so is my mother. I am all alone now was the only thought that kept swirling around my head.
I bowed my head and continued to weep. I felt the warmth of Luke's hand as he put his hand on my shoulder, but it failed to warm me. All I could feel were the freezing, cold and the emptiness that threatened to consume me, and this just made me weep even harder. I could hear Luke's comforting words, but they sounded so far away. Blocking them out, I continued to weep then I started to rock backwards and forwards. I'm all alone now… all alone… and it is dreadful.