Chapter Twenty

The Only Thing You Talk About

Alexander's POV

As soon as I kissed Bowie good bye I drove back to the dance to get Janis before the dance ended.

In the middle of the dance floor was Janis groping another girls boobs and behind her another girl clutched Janis's inner thigh. It was disgusting.

A freshman guy came up to me and said, "Dude, your girlfriend is hot."

I didn't even care so I said, "then you can have her and then walked away."

About ten minutes later homecoming was over and grabbed onto her hand and took her home. I didn't even kiss her goodnight; I didn't want to ruin those last few I shared with Bowie.

X-X-X

Today was Janis was coming over and my parents were off celebrating their 20th anniversary in Hawii—lucky bitches. I didn't want her over but I decided maybe it was time to just end it. I wanted my Bowie and hopefully she hadn't changed her mind from last night.

It hurt to reject her offer of being together last night but I knew in the long run it would be the best thing for us and our relationship. Even though I kissed her, I don't think I was really cheating on Janis… well I was but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad about it—Bowie was the girl I loved.

Janis barged into the house wearing a tight skirt and top, I knew what these outfits meant—she wanted to seduce me.

We were hanging out in my room when she took off her shirt. She revealed a red lacey bra, I was turned off by the sight of her tiny breasts and asked her what she was doing.

"What do you think?" She pranced on me following her words.

Her kisses were forceful and she clung to me tighter than a koala bear—well, I think those cling tight. "Alexander please fuck me, please. I want you so bad."

"Dammit, Janis, for the last time no." I was getting so annoyed with her constant requests of sex, I didn't want her.

She laid on my bed, touching herself—probably trying to make herself seem more attractive. To be quite honest, she was only making me nauseated; thoughts of Bowie couldn't even cheer me up.

"Yes." And with that she began to undo my jeans, I didn't stop her until she started poking my dick through my briefs.

"Fuck!" I screamed in pain, she hit a bad spot, "Watch it."

She smirked and then pulled down my underwear and said, "Okay, I'll watch it."

I sat up immediately and yelled at her, "Janis for the last fucking time, I said no!"

She sat up and put her shirt back on angrily, "Go fuck yourself, you little faggot! I need a straight man who'll bury himself inside of me, not some prude. I need to be fucked, Alexander, and you can't do that for me." The next three words were what really changed everything, "But Brock will!"

After a few seconds what she said set in and her face turned purple and her eyes got huge…a minute later she puked…all over my feet. Great.

"What the hell did you say, Janis?"

"Nothing, I said nothing" she lied as she walked to the bathroom—I stalked after her.

"Dammit, what the fuck did you say?" I said slamming my fist into the bathroom wall (not extremely hard but not lightly either.)

That scared her, "I said…Brock and I had sex…a few times."

I sighed, I couldn't believe this.

"Is this why you're always giggling at your phone? Is it him?" I questioned, finally wanted to put my curiosity at ease.

"Yes." She said in a quiet voice.

We stood in silence. Her newest revelation changed quite a bit and it made it a whole lot easier to do what I was about to.

"Janis, we're over."

She sat on the edge of the bathtub, head in hands. Her red hair was all over the place and her dark roots were apparent. I hadn't even noticed she had begun to cry until she looked up at me and her eye makeup was all over her cheeks.

Maybe it was the fact that I had yelled at her so much today, maybe it was the fact we used to be best friends, or maybe I was just too nice. But whatever it was, I sat down beside her and stroked her hair.

"Me and you…we would never work." I said to her in a gentle voice, she nodded.

"I never lied to you though…I did—do—love you. I just can't be with one person, maybe I'm a whore…that's what everyone seems to think I am." I stopped her there.

"Jan, I don't think that you are a whore, I just think that you don't see yourself for the person you could be. You're selling yourself short." I sighed; this was such an emotional conversation, "You need to respect yourself."

"I do?" She asked, looking straight at me—fresh tears in her brown eyes.

"Yes you do." I wrapped my arm around her and we just sat there for quite a long time.

After the silence became too much, Janis spoke, "I know you never loved me. It was always her." Her eyes showed her pain and that killed me.

"I'm sorry I told you otherwise."

"I always knew." She wiped her tears before getting up, "I suppose I should get home…"

"Yeah…we'll always be friends okay?"

She grabbed me and wrapped me in a hug, her face buried in my chest. "I love you, Alexander…we can't be friends—not for awhile." She rushed down the stairs and not two minutes later I heard her car backing out of the driveway, out of my life.

While this was a major relief, it brought some pain. While I didn't love Janis romantically, she was a sister to me. I cared about her and I couldn't believe she had let herself become like this, she could be so much more.

I needed to leave my house, I needed to clear my mind and think of what I needed to do now. The only place I could think of going was to the Elementary school and so I did.