Why I hate slash

Over at our fanfiction sister site, I have been accused of homophobia multiple times, had my comments deleted a couple of times,and even made a couple of enemies, because I do not support slash. So, I've decided to publish my stance on slash here, for the next time I get into an argument.

Part of the reason is my definition of slash. I do not consider Willow and Tara from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" femslash, or Kurt and Blaine from "Glee" slash, because of their character's sexualities. If Dumbledore and Grindelwald got together, I would not consider it slash. However, when a character changes sexuality, I call that slash. In addition, the slash has to be used in a cracktastic way.

Secondly, because in the vast amount of fiction, changing your character's looks, personality, likes and dislikes is known as OOC, and is despised. Shouldn't their sexuality be included in that list? Because I've met people who have left new authors in tears for forgetting that a character likes honey, and at the same time written the most OOC pairings.

Thirdly, every single slash pairing has been done. Every single one. Name two random males or females from any series, and I can bring up about thirty fanfics about that pairing. In addition, some fanfics would really seem awesome and have an excellent storyline, have a slash pairing that gets in the way of the story and causes OOC non-related to their sexualities, deus ex machinas, and in extreme cases Mary sues.

Now, the real reason I don't support slash.

It makes homosexuality seem immoral. For those of you who watch "Supernatural", everybody who's finished Season 4 knows that there are a lot of fans out there who pair the brothers together. This has even been mentioned jokingly on the show. I'm sure you've all seen one fan fiction or the other where one of the adults is in love with a child. Then, of course, the classic "we've been together two days so let's have sex". How often does het do this compared to slash? Het has a smaller following, but anyway.

Homosexuality may be controversial, but it is not on the same level as pedophilia and incest. Incest causes high infant mortality rates and shrinks the gene pool, pedophilia violates human rights.

Not to mention the infamous fanfic "My Immortal". Draco and Enoby get together about twenty seconds after kissing. This was seen as bad writing when it was het, but when its slash, it's okay. Why? Because slash is almost always crack. It's offensive to real LGBTQ.

Then, finally, the exceptions to my rules.

One, AU. If you are one of those people who believes that people become homosexual because of their upbringing, then an AU upbringing would cause a different sexuality. Also, alternate universes can cause different sexualities. If there is alternate dimensions, no doubt I have counterparts of every possible sexuality.

Two, Crossover. First of all, this is AU in the first place. Secondly, you never know what happens when two people meet each other. Some people only become gay or bisexual when they meet certain people.

Three, the really, really rare non crack fic. No random coming out or rape in these. They are often written by real LGBTQ authors, and they are actually respectful of LGBTQ. The characters often reference to or include a coming out, they have crushes, their relationships take a while. No pedophilia or incest, no " I'm gay so I must want to sleep with every man I see!". I've frustrated a lot of people with this one, but having real LGBTQ friends makes the boundaries between crack and reality easy.

So, there's my explanation. I've kept anonymous reviews enabled, so that if you want to, anyone can review with their opinion of slash. Or my haters can gain some pleasure from abusing their ability to leave multiple reviews. Just remember that I have the power to delete anonymous reviews, so keep the language clean, no death threats, and above all no idiots who believe the title "I hate slash" is a reason to rain down homophobic remarks and forget to read the actual essay.