Hey yall.
This story is based off of a song by a band called Young the Giant. I'm doing a week (starting now) where I write one shots based off of one or more of their songs. This is because I love them a lot, and I need to look deeper into each song in order to appreciate it for more than the music. So if I can personally relate to whichever song enough to write a story, I can obviously understand it better and or in a different way.
I hope you like this. It's a little more vague than most of my other stuff, but half the people that read these are going to be new to Shawnden anyway :)
Reviews are always appreciated.
The cold winter air surrounded me when I stepped out the door, wind making the wet trails on my cheeks cool. I looked back into my apartment, and pulled my raincoat tighter around me, even though I knew it wasn't just my body that was cold. I shut the door slowly, and looked down at the Market that was across the street. During the day, it was a fast paced place. There was always someone shouting out an order, or people laughing with their friends or family. Now it looked as lonely as I felt. It was obviously a façade. It's nighttime identity was the truth. The streetlight flickered and then shone bright, reflecting on the snow and wet cement that surrounded it. It was as empty as I felt. The wind blew through the vacant streets, it's howl echoing through my body, making me stop and listen. Maybe if I listened long enough… hard enough… I might understand.
I walked down the icy streets, careful to watch for black ice, which is nearly impossible to do at three in the morning. The only light source on the small street was the ferry across the water. The waves crashed against the shore, making a sound that no shell could recreate. I wrote out my speech in my mind, knowing that if I didn't plan it, I would show up, and we would stare at each other, neither of us saying anything. And you not saying anything would be worse than you telling me to leave, or that you hate me, or any of the other horrible possibilities I couldn't bear to come up with. My mind drew crazy scenarios, from you accepting me into your home to you pulling a knife out, which was absolutely ridiculous. I don't know how, but you had managed to take someone who was completely satisfied with life and turn them into a cold, lifeless carcass. I had to know how you did it. I had to know why. Was it on purpose? Were you even aware of what you were doing to me? What you've done to me?
I wiped a stray tear away, and missed a patch of ice. My ass slammed into the concrete, and I winced, more tears springing to my eyes. I pulled the raincoat around my head and sobbed, trying to get it out before confronting you.
.
I made it to your apartment in record time. I watched your door, and couldn't stop crying. The freezing air bit at my hands. It bit at my nose. My ears. I felt it surround me, and I couldn't help but think maybe it was pushing me. I felt it push me in the other direction, and I took a long shaky breath before turning around and sitting on a bench overlooking the water. The Ferry drew closer, cause larger waves to crash against the dock. I watched them splash off, catching the lights from the ferry and the street. I wish it were enough to sit and watch this forever, but it wouldn't help. I'm afraid nothing would help. I could be as beautiful as this water, and you would still think I was no good. No matter the intentions… No matter the beauty.
My stomach clenched and I tightened my coat once more, hoping it would hold me together while my life was suddenly falling apart.
Sooner or later, I will have to move on. And so will you. There are only three things that could possibly come of this. Both, one, or neither of us will live a happy life after this, and we will never know which it is. I thought about what led up to now… How we got here, and I couldn't help but smile for a second.
Sniffing, I stood up, stepped over a log, and climbed up the small hill that led back to your complex.
I watched your door again, about a minute and a half this time, and I wiped my eyes. I thought I saw a light flicker, but after staring intently for a few moments, I'm starting to think it was just my imagination. My mind went through every different possible reaction, and only one seemed reasonable.
I shook my head and turned around, feeling a fraction of the weight lift off of my shoulders. I will leave it like this.
After leaving your apartment, I heard the coast. The waves slowly making their way in, and crashing against whatever got in its way. I heard the seagull flap it's wings. I heard the ferry blow it's horn, and I smelled the salty air.
That will be forever stuck in my mind.
And that's okay.