Author's notes: Originally, this was going to be a smutty one-shot, but in the middle of writing it, I realized it could go on after this chapter as well. So instead of this being a standalone one-shot, it's going to be a series of one-shots about the relationship between Colin and Lily as time goes on. I hope you enjoy. This is rated M for a reason!
Extra tutoring had sounded like a perfectly harmless idea. They were to spend the few hours of free time she had on Wednesdays going over statistics problems she didn't understand, and relearning subject matter she hadn't been paying attention to because in a college class of 236, it got hard sometimes.
Colin Moore was a handsome statistics professor, dark hair and dark eyes, with a fierce loyalty to what he taught and making those he taught understand it. He was tutoring a student that didn't need to be tutored, a student to whom he had an unrealized attraction to.
The first few times Professor Moore met with Lily Carpenter for extra tutoring hadn't been awkward, though they certainly felt that way. Instead they were filled with an unrealized longing that he saw as awkwardness.
She called him Colin; none of his students called him that, out of respect or simply because they hadn't bothered to figure out what his first name was. Lily had. It should have been a warning sign from the beginning. But he liked it, the feeling of someone genuinely wanting to get to know him. It was a feeling he hadn't experienced since before his divorce, and one he hadn't expected to get from a student.
This night felt different. A different kind of tension settled in the air once she stepped into his apartment, and he didn't know how to put his finger on it.
"Where are your books?" he asked her, noting the only thing clutched in her hand was her purse. She looked up at him with soft eyes, the blue of them smoldering with an emotion he couldn't pinpoint. She set her purse down on the table, shut the door behind her, and looked away from him.
In her moment of inattention to him, he couldn't stop his eyes from curiously observing her outfit. He'd never noticed it before, but Lily was beautiful without trying. She wore a worn pair of denim shorts and a t-shirt the color of the sky on a sunny day. Her blonde was hair pulled back into a loose bun; she looked so carefree without a trace of make-up on her face. She took a step further into his apartment, passing him to get to the kitchen.
As she moved, he realized she didn't seem to be wearing a bra. He scolded himself for noticing.
She set a hand down on the granite counter top, tracing the edge of it with a finger.
"I didn't bring them," she said, and it took him a moment to realize she was answering his question from earlier. He'd forgotten he'd even asked it. He cleared his throat.
"I can't tutor you if you don't bother to bring your books, Lily." The words seemed foreign, something he didn't want but desperately needed. He knew his words would tell her she should leave, without her books there was no purpose for her to be there. But she didn't. He didn't know he would be relieved by her staying until he felt it.
She looked up at him again, her expression unreadable. He involuntarily took a step toward her. "I don't need tutoring, Colin. You and I both know that," she said, confirming the suspicion in his mind. But if she wasn't here for tutoring, then what?
"Why are you here then?" he said, wincing slightly at his harsh tone. He hadn't meant for it to sound that way. She didn't answer, instead crossing the floor between them until she stood close. He could feel her breath on his neck, and realized he wasn't bothered by her closeness.
They had been this close before, when he'd leaned across the table to show her how to do a problem, and their shoulders had brushed. He remembered vaguely that she'd been wearing a miniskirt that day. That was the day he'd had to focus to remember she was here to be tutored, and nothing else.
But this felt like a different kind of closeness. She had just said she wasn't here to be tutored, but by now he knew that without remembering that she'd said it. He didn't know how he should react to that. Certainly not in the way he was.
She still hadn't answered him. Instead, the hand that had been grazing his granite counter tops began to stroke his chest through his shirt. Hard muscles tensed beneath her touch, but he didn't stop her. He couldn't bring himself to.
She began to push him backwards, towards the living room. He didn't realize he wasn't paying attention to anything but her until his back collided with the wall. He was trapped now, between her and the wall. He denied that he liked it, no matter how true it was.
Then she was leaning towards him, her pretty face moving ever so much closer. He forgot he should stop her, until it was too late and her soft lips had brushed against his. She had to stand up high on her feet to reach his face.
He let her kiss him for a few moments, before he realized exactly what was going on and found it in him to push her away.
"Don't," she said, her eyes showing the hurt she felt. It made him guilty, like he had caused her pain and he owed it to her to fix it.
"Don't what?" he asked her softly.
"Don't pretend like I'm the only one that wants this. This was never about tutoring, for me or for you," she told him, a determined sound about her voice.
Then she was kissing him again, and he didn't want to push her away. She was right, this hadn't been about tutoring. That was something he'd been telling himself over and over so he didn't feel so guilty about being attracted to a student who was only twenty, nine years younger than him.
He was tutoring her, so that made it all okay. But the thing was, it didn't, and he knew it.
But that didn't change the fact that he didn't want to stop her now, nor that he began to kiss her back. After minutes of her lips on his, he couldn't resist anymore. Her lips felt good against his, and he wanted her to feel what he was feeling when she kissed him; longing. Her hands moved against his chest as his arms wrapped around her middle to dip her low so he could deepen the kiss.
The noise she made when he did this, began to take more control, was a soft moan into his mouth. It was a noise he didn't know would have such an effect on him, until his want for her intensified into something he couldn't deny. Her hands slipped under the thinness of his t-shirt, and the warmth of her hands on his skin was almost too much for him to handle.
She began to pull him, clutching his shirt in her fists and backing towards the open door of his bedroom. In the haze of desire, he forgot that they shouldn't be doing this. Though it was unnecessary, she closed the door behind them, and moved to take off his shirt, breaking their kiss, which gave him a few seconds of clear thinking. He knew this was wrong. Once his shirt was off, she moved to kiss him, but he stopped her again.
"Lily I- I can't," he trailed off, closing his eyes as he tried to erase the way his body was directly contradicting those words. The feeling of her warm hand stroking his cheek caused his eyes to flutter open again.
"This isn't wrong. I know you think it is. But Colin, I'm not underage. I know what I want, and I know you want me, too," she said, her voice soft as she tried not to sound pleading. But he heard it.
His eyes met hers again, they were dark and heavy with lust, and he knew he couldn't deny it. She would see right through it. He wanted her, and for right now, she was right. This wasn't wrong.
As soon as he accepted it, he let a small smile settle on his face as he looked at her. But he didn't answer, instead leaning down and pulling her in for a deep, passionate kiss. She gasped when she felt his sudden urgency, and kept up with him easily. He abandoned coherent thoughts, and felt the same flood of desire as her hands stroked his chest and abdomen firmly.
She pushed him back onto the bed, and straddled him when he sat on it.
Her hands found his hair, running through it, and his settled on her hips. She began to grind into him, and he pulled away from her lips breathlessly at the feeling. He pulled the elastic band holding her blonde hair in its bun, and thought she looked so pretty with the curtain of hair falling around her face.
His hands then skimmed the hem of her shirt, battling between what he should do and what he wanted to do. Seeing his hesitation, she moved to pull her shirt over her head, revealing her bare breasts to him. His eyes scanned her body, a body he desperately wanted but still wasn't sure if he should have. She took his hands and ran them up her sides until they rested on the soft skin of her breasts. He began to stroke them, until her nipples became firm.
He forgot everything he'd been thinking before, and let his mouth take over where his hands left off, suckling her gently. The soft moans she let out were almost overwhelming, knowing what he was doing to her and what she felt because of it.
Moments later she was pushing him back down onto the bed, taking over as she began kissing his neck, his chest, and then his abdomen. Her hands wandered to his belt buckle, opening it, and then swiftly moving to unbutton and unzip his pants.
She looked up at him, her eyes heavy with the same lust he felt, before dipping her hand beneath his pants to stroke his arousal. He let out a throaty moan, his whole body becoming a live wire at her touch. His eyes fluttered shut. She stroked him faster, drawing louder moans from him as each second passed.
And then she stopped abruptly, his eyes opening to plead for her to keep going. But instead she pulled his pants and boxers down his legs, allowing his arousal free.
He felt strangely exposed, and cured it by removing her shorts for her when she moved back on top of him. She sat on his lap, her thin red thong the only thing separating them from bare skin. She was grinding again, drawing another moan out of him. He was dying to bury himself inside of her, to feel her body connected with his.
One of his hands, which had previously been resting on her thighs, moved beneath her thong to cup her and stroke her with his fingers. She moaned brokenly, and he felt in her wetness how much she wanted him. He buried a finger inside her, wanting to hear her moan again.
"Oh, Colin," she moaned as he did so, and the sound of his name rolling off her tongue in such a way pushed him over the edge. He couldn't wait any longer, he had to have her.
He removed his hand from between her legs, causing a look of disappointment to cross her face for a moment before she saw the way he was looking at her. She pulled the last piece of fabric separating them from each other off, and was straddling him again moments later, hovering above him.
"Please," he moaned to her, his desire to be inside her overshadowing any other emotions he may have been feeling at the moment. In compliance, she lowered herself onto him, and began to move. Her hands moved into his hair, and she closed her eyes, her soft mews quickly developing into loud moans of pleasure. His hands gripped her hips as she rode him, throaty moans of his own finding their way out of his mouth.
"God, Lily," he whimpered, the pleasure spreading through him like a brush fire. He moved his hands to caress her breasts, the added sensation causing her moans to grow in volume. It was so hot.
After a few minutes, he began to realize she'd been in control the whole time, and while it had been hot, he felt like he owed her something for how much he'd tried to reject her, and how much she didn't give up. He turned them over until he was on top of her, took hold of the hand of hers that rested palm-up on the bed, and buried himself insider her once more with deep, quick thrusts.
In this moment, she wasn't a student he was supposed to be tutoring, she wasn't the girl who sat in the third row of his class, and she wasn't the one person in the class who didn't need tutoring. Right now, she was just Lily. Beautiful, sensual, sexy Lily who was currently moaning his name as his pace increased. In this moment, she was the only student who called him Colin. She was the only girl he'd ever wanted but couldn't have until he gave in. And now, with no one to tell him this was wrong but himself, he was realizing this couldn't be wrong.
His thrusts increased in pace as they both pushed closer and closer to release, their moans and whimpers filling the bedroom and bouncing off the walls. The faster he moved, the louder they got. Until they were teetering on the edge, aching for an orgasm that was imminent.
They came together, his head spinning as he released into her, Lily screaming his name with reckless abandon. He kept thrusting until all that was left of her climax were the small muscle spasms whenever he moved. She wrapped her legs around him so he couldn't pull out of her yet, and he rested his head on her chest.
They were breathing heavily, covered in sweat, exhausted, but immensely satisfied. She let him pull out of her, and he collapsed onto the bed next to her. He pulled the covers over them and wrapped an arm around her waist to pull her in to cuddle with him. She turned over so she was facing him, and stroked his hairline as she looked at him. He let a lazy smile grace his face as he looked into her eyes. In the haze of a good orgasm, he didn't realize how she was feeling until she voiced it. Their heavy breathing had begun to subside when she spoke.
"Colin, please don't tell me this was a one time thing, that you don't want anything else from me. I don't think I could handle that. I want more than this, and I just- please, don't tell me you don't," she said, her voice sounding meek and vulnerable, two things he had never heard her sound. She was scared he was going to tell her they couldn't do this, that it was only once and nothing more. He knew it, and it made him want to tell her the opposite, even if he didn't believe it quite yet.
"I won't," he told her, one hand moving to caress her cheek softly.
"As much as I want to tell you this is wrong, that we can't, that I don't want anything more, I can't. I want this as much as you do. I can't just walk away now," as he said the words, he knew they weren't lies he was telling to make her feel better. That's what he wanted them to be, what they should be. But what should have happened, and what had happened, were two completely different things.
There was no denying it now, he couldn't walk away after this and go on teaching classes and pretend like she was just another student. She wasn't just another student, she was Lily Carpenter, and she was the very object of his affection he had meant to reject in the beginning of the night. But he couldn't, and he knew he wouldn't be able to from here on out, nor did he want to.
She smiled her beautiful smile at him, showing him her relief that he wasn't going to reject her. He held her gaze for a few moments, his thumb still delicately stroking her face. Then she was burying her face in his warm neck, and he was folding her up in his arms.
He was amazed that after just a few weeks of meeting up with her every Wednesday, they'd developed such a passionate wanting for one another. Maybe it was out of the fact that they were forced to deny it, because society told them it wasn't right, they shouldn't be together. But then, why did it feel so right to have her in his arms like this?
He looked down at her; she'd fallen asleep curled against him. She looked so sweet and innocent in her sleep, and it made him want to give her more than he could. If they were going to do this, it was going to have to be in secret, he would no doubt be fired if anyone found out. For a moment he tried to tell himself it wasn't worth it, that she wasn't worth it, and then he looked down at her again and knew he was kidding himself.
Class was certainly going to be interesting tomorrow afternoon.
Let me know if you enjoyed this chapter and would like to see more!