Here is the second one-shot in the series! I'm not sure how many there will be in this series, I'd say probably as many as it takes for me to get to a convenient stopping point. Anyway, I hope you enjoy part 2! Sorry about the lack of smut in this one, there will be more in the third.
Colin was beside himself, torn between whether or not he had the right to be angry at Lily or not. The war that was going on in his head between whether he should be didn't diminish the fact that he was. He assumed Lily knew it as well, because when she'd walked into his classroom that afternoon, her hand deftly clutched in that of a man who was, obviously, not him.
Their relationship for the past few weeks had indeed been in secret, and by no means was Lily his girlfriend, at least not in public. But Colin had been under the impression that their relationship was monogamous, to say the least. So when he saw her, blatantly holding the hand of a man who wasn't him, he couldn't help but feel angry at her. And surely she had seen that in his eyes the moment he saw her walk in with him.
He didn't need to ask to know she was going to come talk to him later, because he knew she was coming over tonight, the way she did every night she managed to get free time. It was, after all, the only way they could be together. And sure enough, at seven o' clock on the dot, he heard a faint knock on the door to his apartment. He huffed out a sigh, getting up from the pile of papers he'd been working on grading, and moving to pull the door to his apartment open.
The sheepish and apologetic look on her face did nothing for his anger. He shook his head at her, his eyes narrowing considerably.
"Lily, what are you doing here?" he asked her harshly, his whole mindset consumed with the image of him punching the guy she'd been holding hands with in the face.
"Colin, let- let me explain. Can I come in?" she pleaded, and though he was still angry with her, he sighed and nodded.
Though he felt like shutting her out and assuming she was cheating, their relationship wasn't exactly conventional, in fact most of it had occurred in this apartment. So he figured he at least should let her give her excuse. Whether he would believe it or not was a different matter altogether. He stepped aside to let her come in, and shut the door behind her.
"Who is he?" he demanded once she was inside, watching closely for her reaction as she took her coat off to hang it on the hook.
"He's not-" she started, and he could tell she was struggling to come up with words to explain the answer to his question. It took her several moments. "He's not what you think," she finally said, looking up at him as if waiting for him to yell at her.
"He's not what I think? Well then what, Lil? What am I supposed to think when you walk into my class holding hands with someone who's clearly not me? I thought- I know we have to keep this all secret, but I thought you were mine, at least to some degree," he said, with an exasperated sigh.
"I am yours," she said, and he scoffed. But she continued anyway.
"But Colin, for the past month or so, I haven't been pursuing any guys at all, and my friends were starting to get suspicious. Up until we started... whatever this is, I'd been going out, flirting, going on dates, and now that I'm not doing any of that, they were starting to wonder," she said, her voice still sounded as though she desperately needed him to believe her.
"I didn't know what to do. So last night, when Luke, the guy you saw, asked me out on a date, I thought it would help divert suspicion if I said yes. And this afternoon when we walked into class, he just happened to grab my hand, and I figured it would help draw suspicion away from us," she finished, her shoulders slouching slightly.
Colin closed his eyes, trying to dissipate his anger. She had only been trying to keep her friends from getting suspicious, but that didn't change the fact that he was jealous. Seeing her with someone the way he had, watching as the boy did something with her in public that he couldn't, holding her hand, he just couldn't handle it.
The way he'd gotten so attached to her, after just a little over a month, it honestly scared him. It had been the same way with her, and honestly they would've spent all the time in the world together if they were allowed to. But the point was, they weren't allowed to. Novelties like holding hands in public were off-limits to them, and knowing that it would have been possible had she been with someone else besides him, that was what killed him.
It had been a few minutes of silence, minutes he knew had been painstakingly long to Lily, and he knew he needed to respond, to tell her how he felt about all of this. But he wasn't quite sure what to say, and it took him a few more moments to figure it out.
"I get that you were just trying to protect us, but Lily, I just can't see you with someone else. I can't handle it. I just keep thinking that if you were with someone else besides me, like that kid, you'd be able to do things like hold hands in public. Seeing you do things with someone else that we can't do together, it just kills me," he told her, feeling his anger turn instead to a sense that maybe they shouldn't be together.
They couldn't do a lot of things that normal couples could, and he wouldn't have blamed Lily for wanting a normal relationship instead of what they had, whatever it was.
He knew she could see right through him, too. It was amazing how much spending time behind closed doors so often could bring them so close so quickly. And up until this point, he'd been okay with that. Now, well now he didn't know what to think. Clearly she had the potential to have a normal relationship. But did she want one? That was the real question.
She stepped toward him, wrapping her arms around his middle. He didn't resist her, but he didn't exactly respond either. He was too upset about seeing her with someone else to want to be close to her now. But she didn't seem to care, and leaned her forehead on his shoulder in a wordless gesture of affection. "It doesn't matter," she told him softly. He gave her a slightly confused look, before she continued.
"All the things we can't do, like be together in public, none of it matters. I want to be with you because I want you, not because of what we can and can't do together. I'll just have to find some other way to divert any suspicion. I hate the idea of you being with another girl, even if it would be just for show. And I- I should've thought about that before. I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes meeting his as she spoke.
He softened at the look on her face, so vulnerable and apologetic. She hadn't been trying to find another relationship, instead she'd been trying to find away to make theirs less noticeable. He responded to her after that, his arms snaking around her waist and pulling her close. A month or so ago, it had been Lily who'd been the first to pursue romance with him. But now, it seemed, the tables were beginning to turn. It was Colin now, who wanted her to be his, and only his.
He knew becoming attached to her the way he was wasn't the best idea, especially because of the risks of it all, but at this point he really didn't have a choice.
He leaned forward to kiss her softly, still wishing things didn't have to be so complicated. After all, she wasn't a minor, and what they were doing wasn't exactly illegal, it was just seriously frowned upon in society, and something he knew the college simply wouldn't allow.
She returned his kiss almost hesitantly, as if she was unsure whether he had really forgiven her. Noticing this, he pulled away from her, and brought one hand up to tuck some hair behind her ear.
"It's okay, Lil. Just- please don't do that to me again. I don't handle jealousy very well," he admitted, and watched as she smiled at that.
She honestly thought it was kind of hot that Colin, being nine years her senior, was jealous of someone else being with her. Though they hadn't actually talked about it, Lily really was his girlfriend at this point. Secret girlfriend, but girlfriend nonetheless. They didn't need to say it out loud for it to be true.
"I promise I won't," she said, smiling up at him. He pulled her with him to the couch, and she folded herself against him in his lap. Even though they did have to sacrifice a lot of things to be together, Colin knew he wouldn't trade the world for Lily, and the moments like this they shared.
Sure, he couldn't hold her hand in public, or hug or kiss her when he saw her, or take her out to fancy dinners in town. But none of that mattered as long as she wanted him, because that, truly, was the one gesture of affection that mattered the most to him.
Let me know if you liked this and would like to see more!