8Could Be an iJiggled Author's Note
Zena: I think they're gone.
Emy: Everyone knows thugs are ineffective. Unlike real ninjas, they never bother to look up.
Zena: . . . We're hiding underground. (1)
1. Excerpt from Lina's Journal:
Friday, 3/4 of a Day Later . . . (1)
Today Carl's team tried to get the flags back from us (2). Their faces when they got there were absolutely hilarious (4).
1. Approximately.
2.
Kevlin: *pacing* Lina's group now has all of the flags. We only have one week to take them back. Tonight will probably be the best time, because they won't be expecting us so soon after our last defeat (3).
Chad: What's the plan? We can't face them head on, like last time *shudders*
Kevlin: I see you finally got back from the manliness rehab clinic. Good. The plan is, we shall sneak up on them during the night and steal the flags. Knowing them, they'll probably be doing something stupid and slutty with them.
Generic Ninja 18: Like curl around them wearing nothing but kinky lingerie?
Generic Ninja 98: While sleeping atop velvet covered beds, softly dappled with rose petals?
Kevlin: . . . *drools*
Chad: . . . Sir? . . .
Charles: If we go through with this, we may have to sacrifice our integrity.
Chad: May?
Kevlin: Right, get the camera.
3.
Lina: *snicker*
Emy: He's not very smart, is he?
4.
Kevlin: *holding the camera, sneaks forward in a "super stealthy" manner (5)*
Lina: Oh, hey Carl! What's with the camera?
Kevlin: *jumps* AHHHH! *turns red* Oh, well, we thought you were going to be wearing almost nothing while curling around the flags, so . . . I was going to post it on Youtube.
Thal: Close! We're WEARING the flags!
Kevlin: Generic Ninja 18, get Thal's flags. Chad, get Emy's, Charles, get Kel's.
Generic Ninja 18: So . . . Where's the flag?
Thal: *yawns* It's up my ass.
Generic Ninja 18: . . . Seriously?
Thal: Yup.
Generic Ninja 18: Um . . . CARL!
Kevlin: It's KEVLIN you dumbass!
Generic Ninja 18: Whatever, but Carl, I can't get the flag.
Kevlin: WHY NOT! Do you know where it is?
Generic Ninja 18: Well, yeah, but . . .
Kevlin: NO BUTS! But's are for asses!
Generic Ninja 18: *looks at Thal*
Thal: Try and this Little House on the Prairie box set will be up your ass before you know it.
Generic Ninja 18: . . . *sigh*
Charles: Hey Kel. Where are your flags?
Kel: Oh, I'm letting my pets play with them.
Demons: *roll on the floor, flags wrapped around their necks like scarves*
Charles: Oh . . . shit.
Chad: *holds knife to Emy's throat* Where the fuck are the flags?
Emy: Ooh, I do like my men forceful *growls*.
Thal: *shudders*
Chad: *falters as he watches glistening beads of his own sweat fall suggestively onto her smo- wait, what?*
Emy: *purrs*
Chad: *shakes head* Where the fuck are the flags?
Lina: In Thal's ass.
Kevlin: Seriously?
Thal: Yes, I feel so ravaged.
Emy: Oh my god Thal! You used one of my lines! I'm so touched.
Thal: Don't be, please.
Chad: . . . So all the flags have been stuffed up this poor girl's ass?
Thal: All except the ones that Kel used as bonnets, yes.
Kevlin: So how do we . . .
Chad: It looks like someone's going to have to take one for the team.
Thal: I hope you're not involving me in this plan because I already took one for the team. In fact, I do believe that I took five for the team.
Kevlin: Ew.
Charles: Is it even possible to remove them at this point?
Thal: No.
Charles: I wasn't talking to you.
Thal: You should be. I would know.
Kevlin: Any volunteers to try?
Everyone: *is silent*
Kevlin: So, we play odd man's out for it?
15 minutes later . . .
Chad: NO! I SWEAR Charles was late putting his hand down! REMATCH!
Kevlin: This isn't working. Maybe we should use a different method . . .
Chad and Charles: I would rather DIE than do it!
Kevlin: So . . . fights to the death?
Lina, Emy, Kel, and Thal: *watch with interest*
Kevlin: Ok, Chad and Charles . . . 3 . . . 2 . . . Wait. *looks over at laughing Thal* I'm starting to think that killing each other is the wrong answer.
Lina, Emy, and Kel: *burst into laughter*
Chad: . . . Are you sure?
Kevlin: Yeah. Besides, they can't keep them in there forever. We'll just come back later.
Lina: Hey, Kevlin!
Kevlin: What?
Lina: A REAL ninja wouldn't be having this problem.
Kevlin: *flips Lina off*
Lina: *uses throwing stars to slice his finger and cut "Fuck You" into his back* That's my way of flipping people off. It's far superior.
Kevlin: OW!
Kevlin and His Group: *leaves*
Kel: *giggles*
Emy: The funniest thing is that they thought we were serious about the "flags up Thal's ass" thing.
Lina: AND they didn't bother to look up and see all the flags in the trees.
Thal: In a giant, glowing, red bag labeled "FLAGS" in bright yellow.
5. AKA not stealthy at all.