It starts off simple. Brian, a man that should never be dated and one that should never be thought of romantically, was talking to me on my lunch break. From the very beginning I knew that he would never be the man for me, however my friends ceased to believe me whenever I mentioned not dating him. They thought that he was cute, that I simply should date him despite knowing he wasn't my type. My friends persuaded me to go on several dates with him and then one day he got down on two knees and asked me to be his girlfriend- in front of all my friends.
Eyes had been trained on me. "Say yes," my best friend Holly had hissed at me from beside me. I was shocked. My skanky beautiful best friend, was ordering me to date! Holly, somebody who would never, ever even utter the word couple to anybody was making me say yes to a man I couldn't even stand. I would never-
Okay, so I said yes.
But I had to! If you've ever been surrounded by nodding heads and wide smiles compelling you to say yes, you would have said 'yes', yes? Which is stupid, because you know that you don't want to do it, yet others do.
Well my stupid, stupid very stupid and idiotic move of agreeing to be Brian's girlfriend landed me in the trash. Confused? I thought so.
One day, on a bright sunny morning, a month or so from the day that Brian asked me to be his girlfriend, he decided to call me and invite me out of my safe haven to lunch. I didn't want to. I so did not want to, but I said yes and so we agreed to meet each other ten minutes later at a café between his office and mine.
Twenty-five boring hours later, I stood in front of the café we decided to meet at, tapping away with my black stilettoes and foam coffee cup in hand. Huffing, I looked from left to right, trying to figure out where the clown could be. He definitely was not in front of the hardware store- his puny little hands could probably never fit around the handle of a hammer- and he was not in front of the bookstore- which is astonishing. I ticked off the barbers and the beautician, the butchers and the pet store. Brian only ever trimmed his hair every two months and hated blood and was allergic to cats. As for the beautician, Brian is a male and would never step into such a place.
I've always despised people being late. Holly I could stand, knowing that she was always busy finding Mr Do Me Right Now and she often had issues of her own. But this? Brian being fifteen minutes- no, now sixteen minutes late, I was fuming! I was absolutely, positively mad! Flying apes and donuts, if that man ever shows his face again-
Suddenly the air moves, it twitches uncomfortably and I feel a pair of flimsy thin arms wrap around my waist. They hoist me up and off of the ground, causing me to shriek and people to stop and stare. I raise an eyebrow and think, How the hell can air twitch? The answer floods around me as a scent hits me and I turn to glare at the person who is holding me. Brian. The man of my nightmares, a man nobody should ever date had just farted.
My nose twitches and he gets this silly smile on his face as he looks at me and then starts running down the busy walkway, holding me like a football. I shriek and try to get out of his grasp as he speeds up and turns a corner. How the hell is he able to carry me? Brian couldn't even pay for the meal on our first date, let alone share the bill, was holding me and carrying me? Freaking insane.
Footstep by footstep, he carried me and I tried in every possible way to untangle myself from his hold. Nothing worked. I tried to elbow him in the ribs and even pinched his nipples- it didn't work. I tried to pull his hair- it didn't work! I kicked him in the balls- it worked, but he just grunted and held me tighter.
To be in ones arms should be romantic should be romantic. Not with Brian. Never with Brian.
Brian stopped, his breath fanning against my neck and making me cringe from the stench. He pushed me slightly away from him, but held me firmly in his grasp when I tried to move away. He leaned forward. I leaned back. He smirked. I sneered. He walked a couple paces forward, moving me with him and then he released me.
I smiled. He has released me! I'm free! I thought gleefully but that was before I noticed that the ground was not beneath my feet. Underneath my shoes and covering my legs was a sticky substance that smelt horrible. I looked down and gasped.
People started to laugh. People started to point. A girl used her mobile to snap a photo of me. Another girl in a business suit left the circle that surrounded me and came back with several more friends and they started to laugh. "Did you see that? She just got chucked into the trash bin! I saw it with my own eyes!"
My lips quivered and I glared at the male before me. "You're going to pay for this," I promised.
"Uh uh uh," Brian chuckled taking a step forward. Scrutinizing me from head to toe, he smirked and shook his head. "Quirky Faith, journalist and friends with everyone, you're a woman I never want to see again. I'm dumping you, literally." He leaned forward with his hand out and I thought he was going to help me out, so I reached out for his. Hand out, he reached beside me and took the coffee cup that was still firmly in my hand. He lifted it and my eyes widened thinking he would drink from the cup. Smiling, he lifted the cup up further to his eye level and then did the unthinkable. He poured the liquid all over me. I gasped. "You're my trash, darling Faith and you'll never be somebody else's treasure."
My mouth gaped open and closed. "Aren't you going to help me?"
He snorted and walked away, his hips swaying slightly.
I looked around again at the faces gawking at me. Weren't they going to help me? Couldn't they see that I had just been dumped and was in deep crap? I wasn't a source of entertainment.
Somebody from the circle walked forward, his phone in one hand and a milk carton in the other. He didn't notice me, so I decided to say something as soon as he was close enough. "Hi, would you mind helping me out?" I asked, happily and smiled for his benefit.
He looked up and I was blinded by his amazing brown eyes. That is until he spilt his milk all over me!
"Monkeys and spiders," I muttered under my breath and watched as his eyes widened.
"Sorry, I'm sure I can make it up for you in the future."