Chapter Nine

Watching Edward and Holly walk out of the mall hand in hand, I raised an eyebrow in confusion. Yes, I might have just cured Holly's sexual desires by giving Edward to her, but at what cost? Will I walk into my apartment every day and find them in each other's arms? Will they even use protection? I shivered, I definitely did not want to know but what I did want to know was why Edward had been stalking me for these past few days? Edward's weird tactics were as absurd as his brother's…. Oh my god. I haven't seen Joe in-

I shook my head. I would not think of such hotness whilst on my break. Was I on my break? Wait, how did I even get here? Why is everything so confusing? Does my relationship with Joe even make sense?

Oh Joe. Brown eyed Joe with a smile that brightened the whole room-

"Damn it!" I swore, taking out my iPod from my oversized handbag. Scrolling through the music I settled on one of my most played song and placed the earphones into my ears. Nodding my head I started to sing to the music.

I'm gonna be the mane event

Like no king was before

I'm brushing up on looking down

I'm working on my roar

I laughed. This truly was the best song of all time. For all individuals with diverse interests in music, this song took the epic plunge. Crazy monkeys and bananas! This song was awesome.

Walking by the windows of a store, I decided to stop and look at the display at the front. Yep, window shopping was the way to go.

My favourite part of the song came and I quickly looked around. Nobody I knew was here. I grinned. This was the best moment to sing!

No one saying do this Now when I said that-

No one saying be there What I meant was-

No one saying stop that What you don't realize-

No one saying see here

"Now see here," a voice chorused behind me, scaring the monkeys out of me.

Before I could even think about turning to look at the person behind me, a strip of fabric was wrapped around my eyes and two arms wound their away around my wait. I started flailing about as the person picked me up and I softly placed me into some sort of open cage. I felt tears beginning to form at my eyes. "Please leave me alone. I promise I won't say a word."

"Now now," the voice gruffly said, "We wouldn't want you doing such a thing." I raised an eyebrow behind the makeshift blind fold. This voice sounded familiar. Very familiar. "Who would sing to me then?"

Meanwhile, my earphones were still safely in my ears.

Oh, I just can't wait to be king!

Oh, he just can't wait to be king!

Oh, I just can't wait...

Just can't wait

To be king!

Wiping away a tear I crossed my arms, annoyed. Flying apes and bananas, this guy just made me miss my song! The only person allowed to do that would be Joe! "Oh no," I mumbled, tears now running down my face. "I won't ever see Joe again."

My hair was suddenly being moved back by the air and I faintly heard the wheels of a trolley. I tilted my head to the side. There were still people here! I was still alive! People!

Wait.

I tilted my head to the side again. Laughing? Did- was that laughing I could hear? The voices were growing louder and so was the laughing. "Did you see that?" I heard a voice faintly ask. "Oh my god, wow. This is like one of the best plays that they've ever put on," another voice was exclaiming, passing through the , there was a play on and I can't watch it because I'm being kidnapped, again.

Quickly the air was flying past my face. I could smell food. Chicken. Beef. Rice. Rice! Amongst the fear and annoyance that I was feeling, I drooled. Food. Food is good. Food, god bless the food! "Food. Food. Food." I chanted underneath my breath.

"Food?" The voice breathed behind me. I detected a hint of humour in his voice and automatically I thought of Joe. Joe. Joe. Joe. One day I'm going to kill him. One day I'm going to sneak up from behind him with my hand before me and shove him to the ground. One day, I am going to show how much frustration he puts in me!

"One day I will tell him he's such a jerk that he's beautiful!" I shouted.

My kidnapper chuckled. "Beautiful cannot describe men."

"Shut up," I hissed. "Just hurry up with your kidnapping so I can be on my way."

The kidnapper laughed out loud. His laugh felt as if it were louder than the others and their voices of excitement. "Who says I'm kidnapping you, honey?"

"Who says I'm kidnapping you, honey?" I mimicked. I huffed. "Shut up! I've heard that story before!"

Scents of something different started appearing. Toys. Toys? Most precisely plastic. Wait, how could I tell? "Stupid nieces that are obsessed with dolls!"

Wait. Dolls. Toys- that means!

"Get ready sweetheart," the voice behind me warned.

Suddenly my cage hit a hard surface, sending me flying through the air and screaming. I blindly tried to search for safety. Which is kind of stupid since I was in the air.

Wait.

I was falling through the air.

"I hate you asshole. If I ever find out who you are-"

Boom! A loud clap resounded around the room as I hit the ground, sinking instantly within it. "Oh no I'm drowning," I yelped. "Somebody help me!" My feet touched solid ground and there was an unusual substance of something something that surrounded me. Searching with my hands, I reached out and grabbed at it. There was this weird object in my hands. It was curved and small. I tugged down my blind fold and immediately felt stupid. My arms hadn't been tied up and it had never occurred to me to take off my blind fold! And they say I was a great journalist! Liars!

Finally looking down, I gazed at the hand-sized curved object. It was a ball! A ball! Wait, a ball? Tilting my head, I surveyed the rest of the area. I was in a pool, but not any ordinary pool with water. A pool filled with balls! Balls! A ball pit!

Looking closely, I found a few other misplaced items. Little people. Kids. There were kids in this pool! I raised an eyebrow. Why were there-

Click. I glanced upward and took in the people that surrounded the pools edges. Click. Click. Click. Parents of the kids stood at the pools edges with their phones out taking photos of me and my misery. This reminded me of something. Brian and the trash bin.

My eyes scanned the room again and I immediately knew that this place was a play pen for kids. Trash to Treasure. Who would name their play pen that? Seriously? Parents would probably dump their kids here and then fish for other kids. 'There's more fish in the sea honey, we can just take somebody else's child,' a husband would say to his annoyed wife.

A voice was saying something over the loud speakers. I tilted my head and tried to ignore the excited parents. "Missing adult in the kiddie pool. I repeat, missing adult in the kiddie pool."

I lifted a finger and pointed it at myself. "Me?" I whispered. Were they talking about me? Wow, this just kept getting even more confusing than the last encounter! Did anything this past month make any sense?

The flock of parents at the edge of the pool started to disperse and I started to swim towards them. Why were they leaving me? Did I do something? "Step back people. Step back," a voice shouted. Wait! That voice was familiar!

The person resurfaced and my anger heightened.

"You!"

The person nodded, "Me."

I lifted a ball and pegged it at the brown eyed monster before me. "You arrogant asshole!" Lifting a handful of balls into my arms, I pegged another at him, hitting his sexy torso. "When I get my hands on you I'm going to chop your balls off and throw them into this-this pool!" Parents covered their kid's ears and some even took them out of the play area- who knows if they were actually their kid. "I'm never letting you touch my panties ever again!"

"You go girlfriend," a mother in the crowd shouted.

"I'm never making you another sandwich, ever!" I yelled.

Cheers erupted from a group of mothers, "Yeah! No more sandwiches!"

Joe raised an eyebrow, confused. "You never made me a sandwich?"

"Huh?" exclaimed the crowd.

I raised a fist. "Never made you a sandwich and keeping it that way!"

"Yeah!" the group erupted into cheers.

Joe gazed in amazement at the group of cheering mothers. "Wait! How can you be on her side when you don't even know what-"

A grandmother stepped forward, her handbag in hand. Narrowing her eyes at Joe, she raised her hand and struck him with her handbag. Ducking Joe shielded his head with his hands. I gasped. Was she trying to hurt my man? "Stupid man, just accept everything she says and make it up to her!"

"But I didn't-"

The grandmother swung her handbag again and narrowly missed Joe, I winced. "Shut up, you little shit!"

"But I didn't-"

I couldn't take it anymore! It was one thing to throw balls at my sexy Joe, but having another woman hitting him? Yeah, that would be unthinkable.

The woman swung her bag. "Stop!" I yelled and watched as both the old lady and Joe froze. I watched in slow motion as the purse came into contact with Joe's face and gasped. "Itchies and scratchies, spiders webs! Are you okay, Joe?"

I heard Joe whimper. "Oww. Crazy cat lady!"

The old lady lifted her bag up and I narrowed my eyes at her. "Don't even think about it lady!" I looked around the room, trying to figure out how I could get out. My eyes caught onto a couple by the pool. They were smirking. I clenched my jaw. Why would they be here when they could be having sex by now? "Joe!" I shouted, still glaring at the couple.

Joe turned his head slightly, dividing his attention between the crazy and ragging old lady and me. "Yeah," he seethed, watching and waiting for the woman's next attack.

I looked to where Holly and Edward were cuddling as they giggled and joked at the situation that I was in again. "Why are Holly and Edward here? Why did you kidnap me, again? Seriously I told you that your kidnapping days were-"

"- I'm trying to get you back."

"… over," I whispered looking back at him, confused. Everybody seems to be confused about something today! I thought, still gazing into his mesmerising brown eyes. "You what?"

Joseph Firaz took a step away from the old crazy lady and one step closer to ball pit. "Faith," he murmured, grasping my hand and pulling me out of the pool. Placing two of his hands on the side of my face, he continued. "Ever since I saw you in that trash bin and poured milk all over you, I always wanted to have you as my treasure. Though I've been living in your apartment building for years now, actually talking to you and seeing you in reality was absolutely amazing!" He stopped for a couple of seconds, his mind in thought. His eyes widened and one of his arms wrapped around me. "And your panties! The 'no entry' ones? Let's just say that-"

My eyes narrowed and as if on cue, a ball was thrown at Joe's head. He quickly looked at the audience and we both noticed Holly with her hands on her hips. "Get to the point already! Edward says he has this really cool bed that-"

"Okay, okay, geez woman," Joe mumbled and turned his smouldering brown eyes back to me. "I want us to make up and after that, I want to spend the rest of my life with you." My eyebrows raised and I turned to Holly and mouthed 'What the fuck?' Holly shrugged and then motioned me to look back at Joe with a wave of her hand. "I know it's too soon, but I want to wake up and be able to hold you in my arms before we go to work. I want to be able to say to any man 'that's my wife, jealous?' and they would be because you're amazing with your luscious lips and your shapely-"

I stopped him by placing a finger on his lips. He kissed it and I quickly withdrew it, blushing furiously. "You mean, you kidnapped me, placed me in a trolley and ruined my Lion King song just because you wanted make it up to me?"

He nodded.

Since we were still on the edge of the pool, I picked up a ball and threw it at him. "You stupid male! Don't you do anything right-"

He shielded his face with his hands, "But Faith-"

"You couldn't do the normal lazy male sucking up by sending me tons of flowers and chocolate? Couldn't have taken me out to dinner? You ruined my song- it's ruined!"

"Faith, we're an unusual couple. If you wanted normal than I could-"

My eyes widened. Normal? He thought I wanted to be normal? I flung my arms around his neck and buried my nose in his shirt. "I don't want normal, Joe! Never normal, please!"

He kissed the side of my neck and I could feel him smirking. "Never normal, I understand."

"Can we go home now?" I murmured.

He picked me up and held me bridal-style. "Sure can, muffin."

"No pet names," I hissed.

"No pet names, got it!"

As we walked out of the kids play area, I noticed that the crowd of parents were smiling happily at us. My eyes focused on a couple, Holly and Edward and I grinned as I saw the two dived into the pool. Now that's a story I'd like to know, I thought. The sign caught my attention as we exited. "Hey Joe," I murmured.

"Yes Faith."

"Why 'Trash to Treasure'? I mean, there are loads of other places like these elsewhere."

"Ah," he grinned. "We met when you were in the trash and since I didn't have access to a treasure box, I decided that this place suited our situation. I found you in the trash and now you're my treasure."

"That's so cheesy," I laughed.

"I told you I'd make it up to you."

And we lived happily ever after… Well that was until Joe decided to frame my 'no entry' panties and put them above the fireplace.

A/N: So that's the ending… I hope you were as confused as I was with this story. If you're interested, I might make a story about Holly and Edward… and yes, it will make fun of the Twilight Saga by Stephanie Myer.