Everything happens for a reason. She's lived by this for her whole life. Used it as some sort of mantra, prayer even, when everything was going particularly shit. Like now. When she felt something collapsing around her; she would say it in her mind; mouth the words on her lips, or even wrote it in random places, whether it be her hand, a corner of her page, or even in a secluded corner of a room. A small scribble. That's all it was. That's all it needed to be, a whisper, a murmur. But, nonetheless, it kept her going. Made her feel like everything was going to be ok, things will get better. It helped her see the silver lining, in situations. Made her feel that she'll get her happy ending, eventually. It's been her way to keep going for her whole like. Until now.

Recently, it's as if everything had been fucking up suddenly. As if every optimistic moment or thought in her life, was coming to bite her in the ass. As if Karma was screwing with her, taunting her. She scoffed at herself now, staring at her blue nails, that were extremely chipped, and realised the shade was getting darker every time she painted her nails. Guess it wasn't so much of a shock as she thought.

It wasn't pleasant, she decided, having your rather shitty life take on a whole new meaning of crap. Have anything positive thought creep away from you. Hide away as if you're some fucking disease ridden road kill. She leant her head back on the door she was currently sitting against, and sighed. The tears didn't exist. Yet. She wouldn't acknowledge them yet.

The shouts, screams and tears carried their way up the staircase of the ordinary house to her, and she exhaled heavily, as if the action relieved some sort of pain. She wasn't in any pain… At least that's what she told herself, and took pleasure in the fact she could still lie to herself. She had excelled at lying to everyone else, it was almost second nature. The almost made her feel like a somewhat normal person. As if she wasn't some sort of fucked up junkie.

The argument downstairs picked up and she was certain the neighbours could hear. Not that she cared. She figured she should play her part, and do damage control. She was the mediator, her older sibling the referee and her parents the perpetrators. It was the only way things could work. She should've fulfilled her duty, but she could not be fucked and decided to wallow by herself in the few glorified moments she had allowed herself. Another sigh and a few more tears that she scrubbed away immediately was what she needed to realise that she needed a new life motto.

Life sucks, and then… oh wait, that's it. She smirked, that's all she had, but that's all she needed. Life sucks and then you die. Her smirk grew more pronounced. And it's damn good too.

Another sigh, it was longer this time, though. She looked to the ceiling, as her sister attempted to calm the situation downstairs, probably waiting for her arrival. She stood up; preparing her deadpanned expression, and went to the landing to get caught up in the argument, and to make her entrance. Everything happens for a reason, she murmured to herself…

Some things will never change.