1A Bad Dream
Early one afternoon, he took a leisurely boat ride down the River Styx. The peaceful stillness of his surroundings, the sound of the rushing water, the rhythmic movement of the boatman's oars were quite relaxing to him, and he soon found himself drifting to sleep as he watched shapes flitting through the bare branches of the trees on the far side of the bank. In his life, there had been so few opportunities to simply surrender to fate like a reasonable man, so much so that it was rather a drug to him, like a man who works long hours and craves sleep, and he considered this to be probably one of the most appropriate times to do so.
"D'you play chess?"
"Hm?" he blinked, "No, no, I'm quite abysmal at the game, I'm afraid." He didn't bother looking up to speak to the robed, hooded figure. He lay staring whistfully up at the stark monochrome sky, his head rested on his folded arms. He could see shapes in the occasional flickers of movements, like you could with clouds, or flames. He was looking for stars.
"Dice? Cards?" asked Charon, "Hungry Hungry Hippos? Anything at all to relieve the tedium?"
"I'm quite fine, thank you," he said, his voice trailing off into an impromptu song.
"That's the Game Over tune from Earthbound," said Charon, "So you do play games."
"For the story, mostly, and the music, not out of any sense of competition or any pretense at skill," he said.
"So a quick game of Tetris is out of the question?"
"Shouldn't you be watching where we're going?"
"I know where we're going," said Charon, a note of slight irritation entering his voice.
"Ah, good, because I have no idea."
"I'd look slightly more worried about that if I were you."
"If I had any reason at all to expect a guilty verdict, maybe," he yawned, "I expect the judgment of my eternal soul to be a tedious process of finding anything at all worth taking into account, followed by my case being indefinitely lost in the paperwork. As above, so below, eh?"
"Are you sure you're not just trying to pretend to yourself that what you've done isn't that bad, or that you weren't really responsible for it?" he asked, "That doesn't work, you know. Just a warning there."
"I do not think you understand quite what I'm telling you about the specific and delicate brokenness of my life. Tell me, Mr. Charon, have you ever played Dark Savior? Have you ever played Dark Savior late at night and wondered, every time a character says 'if only I could have another life', why the poor fellow wants another ten years added to his sentence?"
"Only the first five parallels, and yes, I understand," he nodded, "Its okay. If its not impolite to ask, did you...?"
"No, nothing of the sort. I... to be frank, I don't know what happened. I simply didn't wake up," he frowned, "Actually, I'm not sure I even remember being asleep. Its funny, how fast you forget."
"Its a long way away by now," said Charon.
He was notoriously difficult to infect with songs or memes or yawns or anything else that required a shred of humanity but after half an hour or so he was humming along.
He was also wondering what was taking so goddamn long back at Head Office. They should have given him the call by now.
FOR THE IMMEDIATE ATTENTION OF HEAD OFFICE:
Change of circumstances Form 13b: Death of Client
Case Notes, Client #256
Cause of Death: sudden unexpected spiritual shutdown caused by multiple critical causality failures
Probable outcome: HIGHER SECURITY CLEARANCE NEEDED
Notes:
06/05/1984: Client's soul is known to suffer from multiple defects of a severe and irreparable nature (please see R&D notes for more detail). Head Office initially ordered the soul's immediate removal from cycle of fate, followed by permanent deletion, due to the possibility of damage to global causality. R&D advised tests to be done in the interests of discovering causes of defects and preventing further issues. Also suggested that faults may turn out to be repairable. Client has been placed under a monitored, moderately controlled, limited-complexity causal arc within the world of the living, similar to the procedure used for punishing minor offenses.
27/09/1998: Client is beginning to suspect what is happening to them. Shows a remarkable clarity for a faulty soul. Three tests had to be canceled when client began attempting to manipulate results.
10/06/2010: It is now the twenty-fifth year of the experiment and no fix has been found. Client's soul is degrading rapidly. Direct invasive treatment necessary but Internal Security are worried that this will present too great a risk of client becoming fully aware of the situation. Head Office says they cannot relax the position: a lucid soul MUST be promoted or deleted.
25/10/2025: Client's fate suddenly terminated, instantly killing them. No feedback form issued because of possible security issues.
"Sorry about that," he said, rubbing his hand where he had accidentally caught his companion across his rather bony face in reflexive warding gesture, "You shouldn't wake a gentleman up by poking him with a stick. I was having a pleasant dream."
Charon shrugged, "You only hurt yourself."
"So, are we there yet?" he yawned and stretched.
"No, but I've got news for you. You're right. You're not going to be punished for anything. You've already done your time, so you're free, I guess."
He blinked.
"Surprised?"
"No, not really. I worked that out a long time ago, too. I just didn't think I was actually right."
"You shouldn't second guess yourself. Whatever else you think you're right about, you should place bets on it. Now. Go all out."
The man looked up at the sky again, then smiled. He wasn't really sure of anything else in the Universe, except for one thing.
Before Charon could react, the man had jumped from the boat, down into the mirror of the sky where the sixth star was waiting for him, where he had always known it was.