The figures introduced themselves as Earl Grey and Lady Grey.

Tall, elegant and willowy the both of them, they were evidently twins, he in a perfectly tailored grey three-piece suit, grey bowler hat and umbrella, she in a grey suit jacket over a grey blouse, a long grey skirt and long grey silk gloves, carrying a laced grey parasol. Their attire gave the impression that they were one with the rising mist, like spectres haunting some ancient barrow that lay under the rolling hills of their lost domain. Except that ghosts didn't normally lay out tablecloths and start placing exquisitely glazed china teacups and a teapot in the middle of them whenever they saw an intruder. This was a private realm, however, with its own rules, so he supposed ghosts could do as they pleased.

"Do you not mind the absence of your soul?" asks Lord Grey, pouring the tea.

"Not terribly," he replied, gently stirring the tea and taking a sip. It was perfectly brewed to his liking, even though his tastes were different to other gentlemen; he preferred it slightly stronger, otherwise his senses could not be bothered to report its taste to him, and he could not abide even a slight residual taste of milk in his cup, to the extent that he did not usually dine with others.

"It is most relieving," he continued, "To be rid of so much excess free will. And now I can get on with things that are more important."

"A surprisingly sensible answer, for a human," the Lady idly replied, a look of casual disinterest on her face as she examined her glove, presumably for imperfections.

"So, you really aren't human then," he replied. The aura emanating from them was far too powerful to be human. It washed over him like the lulling caress of sleep.

"We are what we are," said the Earl, "You will be the same as us, soon. You get used to it. Sit and drink. Then we will discuss business."

They always appeared in dreams, when They came for him. The first time they had started appearing was the day after he had waived his soul. It was like one of those courtesy calls one received the day after opening an account with a telephone company. Except more important.

He did not use the word 'important' as most people did. Generally, the words 'important' and 'serious' are used, in his own words, 'as a socially acceptable form of aggressive mind control'. It started innocently, when your mother yelled at you not to crawl too close to the fireplace, maybe slapped you if you disobeyed, and then before you knew it, you were being negatively conditioned to instantly obey all sorts of weird and wonderful harshly yelled commands. He had cottoned on to this trick at a very young age, and had wandered off to a quiet place where he would not be yelled at and he could carefully deliberate the matter in hand on his own. Later in life, he applied the same technique to Politics. True, he had spent the last fifteen years in exile sleeping under a badly maintained statue of an angel somewhere near Paris, but he was surprised at how alive he was. To him, 'important' meant that he felt a sudden compulsion within himself, to the point of bursting, whereupon it was more like a jubilant, divine surrender. 'Important' meant 'destined'.

The unquenchable flow of ultimate peace (which, he supposed, could not have been so divine after all) had come over him when They asked him to sign his soul away. He had been receiving the letters from the Infernal Office for quite some time before that. However, it was only at that one moment that he had felt it. He had been only a trifle worried that he would doom himself to an eternity in Hell if he signed the papers, but when he thought about it rationally, that way round of doing things wouldn't make sense. You didn't get thrown in the Tower of London for buying something from the Gift Shop.

"You should think yourself lucky that we got to you first," said Earl Grey, "They do so clamor over a new recruit, and we haven't had one for centuries, even though we are a distinguished and historically important department with sensible plans for a new recruit. We can turn you into something great..."

"I have no interest in joining your department, I'm afraid," he said, "You've been wonderful hosts, and you must tell me where you purchase your tea from, but I must press on as soon as night falls, or I shall miss the person I'm looking for. He's somewhat of a night owl, you see."

"You're leaving already? You haven't even told us your name," remarked Lady Grey.

"Ah..." he said, his hand freezing in place with his teacup mid-way between the floor and his lips.

He realised that, in all the confusion, he had completely forgotten his name.