I remember the first time that we talked. I though you were an idiot and I can't be wrong in saying that you thought I was slightly ditzy. How wrong we both were. You are not a full time Idiot, many times I think you are more learned than I am. And me well, I have my stupid moments. but right now, I am the idiot.
I sit here writing this letter whilst you are on a busy expanse of the city known as an airport. In a few moments you will be miles away from me; somehow I have to make sure that you receive this letter. There is little I can say that can convince you to stay, and I don't want to convince you. You always did value your free will.
I know, you are probably with her, why shouldn't you be after all you are soon to marry. Yet I still feel a need to let you know that I won't miss you, I don't want you to stay, I don't want you to choose me. I simply wanted to say that I hope that you are happy with her. I am afraid that you will forget me, but at times forgetting is more beneficial than the pain memories bring.
As I watch the plane from my window, I realize that though you are far away if you call, I will answer, if you need to talk I will listen. If you come back I will be here. I will always remember your words "I don't want to lose your friendship." Such sweet and simple words yet they drove 1,001 needles through my heart.
I could and would have given you so much more than friendship, but I should have learned long ago that competing is not something I excel at. Friendship is what you wanted, I am sorry to say that although I strived to please you, friendship was not easy. It was bittersweet. There were times when I missed you while you were right there next to me with that Casanova smile on your face. Neither of us can change, for you our moment came and went; me I can't say the same. For some reason my heart still constricts when I see you, hold you, smell you. As I see the plane get smaller, all I allow myself to say is,
I hate you.