There are some things that i get pulled into

like an arm rising from the grave

grabbing my ankles

and pulling me under the cold moist dirt.

gray dirt.

I care but...

Emotions are useless to me.

at least...

they should be.

Why am i confused then?

Its really that simple but..

Why?

What the hell can i do?

-runaway-

No.

Why am i the one suffering then?

Its like im literally drowning in guilt.

guilt that shouldn't even be mine,

but i took it anyway.

Actually...

Is it even guilt?

What the hell am i even drowning in?

Damn, I hate this stupid heart.

-dont ignore me-

Its not in control

-stop lying to yourself-

Fuck you

-silence-

...

Cant you fucking help me for once!

-no-

I dont need it. Nobody does.

-keep telling yourself that-

Its just an illusion

a bad dream

a nightmare.

-will you be sad if i leave?-

I already am.

-what is sadness like?-

Its like being surrounded by shattered windows.

-not my fault-

We have to try and fix them

-there's no point in fixing shattered windows-

I have to at least fucking try

-you're crazy-

Its your fault.

Is there even a reason you're inside of me?

-So you don't forget what you're supposed to do-

Whats that?

-Im your heart, not your brain dumbass. How the hell should i know?-

You act like a brain

-ha.-

-so where are you now?-

Swallowed up in shadows.

or...

is the light not even on?

SOMEBODY TURN THE DAMN LIGHTS ON!

-no-

-you're not alone you know. There are others going through the same thing-

Why does it feel like im the only one breathing then?

Where did they go?

-look at the blood beneath you-

i cant. Its dark.

-look up-

Why should I?

-there's a light. An opening-

You mean an exit?

-yup-

What do i have to do?

-drop me-

It'll all be gone?

Hate, sorrow, and love?

-exactly-

i wont...

i cant.

-why not?-

because that's all i am and will ever be.

Hate, sorrow, and love.