When did I grow up?

I stare in the mirror,

Pinching my cheeks,

Squinting at my reflection.

There is a knowledge in my eyes,

An awareness that my younger self

Rarely, if ever showed.

It glints with sadness, with the memories

Of heartless innocence and lost youth.

I don't remember becoming a woman.

It stole into the night, she sleeping,

Dreaming, unaware of anything afoot.

Into my bed it crept stealthily

Snatching up my naiveté

Removing the filter from my memories

And throwing grown- up burdens on my shoulders.

At times like this one can only do two things.

Either collapse beneath the weight or, finding oneself

Equal to the weight, carry it with the long-lost vigor of youth.

I did the second and having done that

I feel I am almost too old for wine,

For parties, for gambling life away.

I feel I must hold it close

So it won't blow away.