4Free Fall
False hope.
Broken dreams.
Forbidden hopes.
Free all, free fall...
She'd heard of it. She'd seen it. But she'd never before experienced the methodical way with which it disassembled the web of half-truths she'd unconsciously constructed around her, an illusion of stability.
I thought I could walk on water, but then I started drowning...
It feasted on her deepest insecurities, the desires she could never allow to thrive anywhere but her thoughts, the thoughts she felt ashamed even thinking about.
These things didn't happen to her.
It.
Wasn't.
Right.
The situation was a seesaw, a long sheet of paper thin glass balancing on a fulcrum spun from impossible hopes. Ecstasy was followed by a drop. And the feeling - it was like falling in an accelerating elevator.
What happened to everything I thought I knew?
Falling, then moving so quickly up she couldn't see anything but the world blurring around her.
So fast... there and gone in the blink of an eye.
Down from the tenth floor, only to be elevated to the twenty-fifth for a brief glance into the reality life could really be.
Free fall, free fall... into life.
It may not have been right, but self-control only lasted so long.
A brush on the arm, a quirky half-smile, and suddenly everything was unraveling. She wanted it... but she'd never allow herself to do something so criminal -
It.
Wasn't.
Right...
...but it felt so good.
Yet at the same time, it made her want to vomit, to get rid of the imaginary world she'd been living on for the longest of times.
Rejected.
Half-hearted declarations of love, brief hugs, and only the lightest of kisses. Long stretches of silence and walled off emotions. The truth beneath that crumbling facade was becoming more and more apparent - she didn't love him.
I love you...
...So easy to say, but so hard to mean. She tried, but they were emotionless words.
All this time I've been believing in a lie...
But him - he couldn't keep her hands off her. A brush turned into a hug, the half-smile into a full grin. And every time he turned to her, handed her something, allowed for a second of skin contact, the elevator shot up a hundred floors.
Two hundred floors.
It was wrong, so wrong, but at the same time it was almost predetermined.
Almost.
And that's when the elevator fell again, until she was screaming at the walls, begging it to stop.
Don't let me fall...!
But the relentless drop continued, forcing her into silence. The pain within in her built up every time she realized it was a lie. It burned. It was a lie, a concocted, 24-hour elixir. He didn't care, because she was nothing compared to her.
But didn't he?
He never did. Never did, never would.
Free fall, free fall...
...Because her fantasies were no match for the pull of reality.
Free fall...
...free fall...
...all through life.
...
..
.
A/N: So... how many of you missed me? How many of you forgot I existed? :P
I've been writing a lot, more than I let on, but not for Endings exclusively. Actually, I probably have enough to put together a set of drabbles, which is what this may become. Endings is slowly being written, but won't be posted until I have more chapters in reserve.
Also, I owe LOTS of people reviews. I realize that; please do not throw rotten tomatoes at me for not even opening the folder of Fictionpress emails on Gmail. I'm sorry, you guys. D:
But for now, enjoy my ramblings.
Inspired by - life, Physics, music, and my trip to Dallas. Random, much, Katalina? ...Very. I know this seems really disconnected, my style of writing, but really it's open for interpretation. I know how I would - but we're all in different situations.
Posted because - Silver Sparke reminded me that Fictionpress was still alive and waiting for my next story. If it weren't for her, I don't know where I'd get the motivation to post. She's amazing. :) Go review her for me! :P