Malleable skin melts around my fingers as I pull you closer; the sweat pearls on the halves of your back and in the valley between your breasts as I breathe against your nape, slowly inhaling your delicious, salty scent. Your body is so divine as it bends in my hands, twists between my legs – you can't save yourself, my darling, you can no longer escape to the banalities of every day that you seem so intent on plunging into, to hide. How does a woman's mind work? How can she have built such tolerance for everything? Every little thing that could disturb her, every little thing that should rouse her anger – she has surpassed the vulgar matter that is a human's nature, and become some creature of iron, never breaking apart, never showing weakness.

Except now.

I slip my fingers down the sides of your neck, down your chest, palms slipping on the slick skin. You try to turn but you can't, and you bite down on my proffered hand as the intensity ravages you – you try to call my name but you can't, it is a misshapen thing, it doesn't sound right in that lovely mouth. Ah, splendid creature – for once I see your chin kissing your collarbone, I see your hands trembling as they grip the duvet, I hear your struggles to maintain the elegance you strive so hard to keep at all times – even your wanton cries don't sound quite primitive enough, don't sound womanly enough – they sound too much like you, like the piece of carved perfection that I fell for… but whenever we desire someone, it's just to experiment how far we can go in deterring their nature ; those who are too closed up on themselves, we want to bring out into the light ; those too proud to notice the flawed things around them, we want to see mindlessly begging us for mercy … but you, my darling, you are both, you are a bit of everything, a standing contradiction, a preoccupation that blows my mind out of proportion. How to break you when you seem to be a beautiful mosaic of all the self-inflicted mental horrors that a human could ever be plagued by? You are too modest, and too arrogant in that modesty; your forced politeness, your shattering sincerity, it sickens me, and your lies are too perfect, your absences too painful, your sly glances like stabs to the heart – filth in the beauty, you revolt every little particle of my being as strongly as you attract them – how to break you? How to understand you? I am a flaw next to you, too raw, too simple. I am nothing, compared to your wondrous depths, your flaring personality.

And yet, how you writhe beneath me! How magnificently frail you are, how pathetically submissive… at least in the physical, I am stronger than you- else you would've withered me to naught in the time it took for me to realize my mistake. Oh, in the physical, you don't stand a chance. I grab your hair, pulling your head back – your throat strains, your mouth hangs open and your eyes stay squeezed shut and I imagine such a savoury expression from where I have you, where I can't see what you look like; complete abandon has always looked unnatural on that disgustingly composed face of yours.

What will I become if your dominance goes on? The shady part of the couple; the one who only with much difficulty manages to seep into conversation- and at that moment, the gossiping parents of this wonderful creature only know how to raise their eyebrows and hush each other, not knowing any good word to attribute to me- the ghost, the evanescent face who rises and falls by her side as she continues to smile, smile though the blades of a thousand hypocrisies tear through her veins, smile though her lies clog her aorta and shrivel her lungs, smile though she does not why, does not know the reason for love so why administrate it? Smile, though your lover dies little by little as you crush him (unintentionally? Perhaps) with your silence, your words that mean nothing, your empty, rebounding sentiments that plunder him of his soul, of his being, piece by piece, coin by coin, heart by heart word by word touch by touch breath by breath tearing him limb – from – limb –

You let rip a tortured scream of pleasure as I sink my canines into your shoulder, sweet flesh filling my mouth, peach skin against my tongue. Perhaps you think that's what your existence sums up to; mindless destruction of everything around you making you feel more alive than any sort of creation, of giving a part of your own being for the sake of others – no, why give when you wouldn't be satisfied by what you receive? You don't want them to tell you that what you give is so mediocre that it's all you deserve; but what you don't understand is that you are exceptional, my love, or rather exceptionally selfish- do you even realize the extent of what I would give back to you, if only you would lend me a bit of yourself – a true piece, authentic, that I could hold in my palm and marvel at, marvel at how you could gift me with such trust, such blinding feeling …

You bottle up so much wonder! Why keep it all to yourself? Why won't you let me into your most intimate abyss- we've come this far, have we not?

Physically…

Physical. Yes. You probably hate this, don't you? All that you cannot help – the body that nature has procured you, you can't stand the restraints it imposes, you can't stand the way your nerve ends are screaming, the way your skin comes alive as I trail a finger down the bumps of your ribcage, following the sensuous curve of your waist – ah, but what a splendid body, you shouldn't hate it so. It is, after all, your citadel. Glorious walls of honey and bone, glimmering with a thousand salt pearls… My hand comes to your sternum and your heart plummets to reach my palm, hammering wildly – smiling at this ecstatic uncontrol, I take you by the shoulders and spin you around, the mattress embracing your spine, your wrists slapping into the pillow above your head – my hand comes to shackle them together, hold them in place as you arch you back, hopeless, helpless, mindless, mine, mine, mine.

You hiss my name – hatefully? Lovingly? – and I contemplate your marvelous torso as it wriggles, ribs pressing against skin, a line dividing your abdomen, shadows seeping over your flesh like oil. I bend over you and taste it, dip into the black rivers that cut up your body into so many smooth ribbons of flesh- my name becomes a twisted cry on your lips as you rake your nails across the back of my hand – I touch your citadel's lovely mural with the tips of my fingers, testing the solidity, fancying that if I could break through it, I would get to your oh so precious core…

What would you do, if I finally laid eyes on your inner treasure that you take so much care in concealing? What would you do if I laid my hands on it? What would you do… if I possessed it entirely? Oh, if I swallowed your elegance, your magnificence, your delicious corruption…

How do I get to it, my darling, which locked door must I force open? Where are the cracks that you took such care in filling? With my free hand I caress your scented flesh, and you never see it coming, hah, too possessed by ecstasy, too enthralled by what your body can make you feel – this is so much stronger than your petty mental abstractions, isn't it? Isn't it?

My nails tear long cracks in that marvelous flesh and I see it, I see it pouring, I see the gleaming red pooling around your ribs, dripping from my fingers – I have it in my palm! The most intimate part of you, it's staining my hands – your eyes widen in pain and you raise your head with difficulty to watch as I lick your life essence from my fingers, ingesting your crimson, liquid secrets.

You whimper, and as I see panic ablaze in those smoky eyes, I smile as I realize- you may not have felt even an ounce of what I feel for you, my love, and this is the moment where I force that reality onto you- you've been ignoring it so long, you see, did you really think I would appreciate such neglect?

Give yourself to me, my sweet. I hear you panting, I hear the sheets rustling around your legs as you fight against my hold- oh, but you're going nowhere, not now, not ever – not before you give me what you owe me. I watch as your body coils and writhes, such a delice, oh, what a sight to behold! And such a body, you've given to me, haven't you? It's the only thing you've ever truly granted me ownership over – do you realize, now? Do you realize your mistake? Keep resisting, and I'm only ever going to want more… oh, poor dear. You don't know how good your skin looks as it stretches, how I watch its glistening humidity with a keen eye- it's mine, and I want to know what you're hiding beneath it –

A woman's elegance, dripping blood in my hands – I want it! I want to claim all that you are- you should've given it to me freely, darling, else this desire wouldn't be pulsating as dangerously as now…

Your scream hardly reaches my ears as I rip that honey sheen from your bones; red, everywhere, all your hidden fantasies trickling down my chin, down my throat – your secrets taste like rust, and they're burning me as they pour down my torso; such heat! Such passion! Why did you hide this from me, darling? We could've shared it; it would've been marvelous, grand, it would've been love… and now I'm holding the dregs of all that could've been, and I'm only giving you what you gave to me; egoism, stark naked ice as white as your eyes as you're twisting in pain – pain, pain, I'm teaching you something new, aren't I? Because you must be tormenting yourself mentally, asking yourself what you could've done to deserve this; oh, you only existed how you thought was best, and besides, you know, don't you – you always knew this was coming, I know you did, you're too intellectually grand to be surprised by anything I might do. And you've never felt such agony before, such a glorious marriage of the mental and physical senses- I'm swallowing the remains of your walls, savouring the forbidden saccharin of your essence- piece by piece I'm tearing down your citadel, shivering with pleasure as the cracks resonate in time with your cries of pain. Mine, my darling, mine. Every parcel of that magnificent body, the allegory of grace, of beauty, of delicacy… you're becoming a part of me, dear, we're finally becoming one, like we should've done since the beginning…

And when your limbs grow into mine, when your breath has become part of my own, when your blood flows in my veins and your heart beats right next to mine… the vulgar matter, flesh, organs, I make quick work of them; they aren't the most important… and yet so sweet to the taste, because they're you, everything you tried to keep from me crushed between my teeth, lovingly swallowed.

Tenderly, I cradle your head to my chest, stroking your hair, gazing at this face that finally spells out exactly what you are- filth in the beauty, blood smattering a doll's mask.

Dark red clumps clutter your eyelashes, and you're staring emptily at the room, lips parted as though you would've wanted to add, I'm sorry, I know, this is my fault, I should've told you I never loved you even though I made it painstakingly obvious.

My poor little kitten. How broken you look! It doesn't matter, you know. I only ever loved the thing behind the curtain, the shade of your real self that was only ever hinted at every now and then. In a way, I loved the reality you hid away in your own personal Pandora 's Box – and now that I've claimed it, no one else can ever see what's inside, so you don't have to worry yourself so any more. I'll take good care of it. I promise. I know I've always been a bit clumsy; I know I should've made more efforts to find the key… only, I was so sure you'd swallowed it.

Tenderly, I hold you against me, I hold you inside me, I embrace you more intimately than anyone could ever have done- don't you hear the harmony singing in our veins, the harmony beating in our chests – my veins, my chest- no one can ever try to breach you again, my love. I'm going to take care of it all, because… you are everything to me. My thoughts, my mind, and now, my pulse, my body, my blood.

Don't you feel the harmony?

This must be what they call…

love…

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