259Chapter 2: Horrible Mistake
Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.
~Gandhi
"I just made a horrible mistake" I moaned into my cellphone.
"Well, then fix it…You're not pregnant are you? Because you know how I feel about abortion. You can have the baby and give it up for adoption. If that is the mistake then don't 'fix it' fix it," Lorraine blabbered. I was still stunned by the fact that she thought I could be prego. I mean hello this is ME we are talking about.
"Lor, no. I'm not pregnant. Not sure how that is the first thing that comes to mind, when I'm still boyfriend-less" I paused "and no I did not have a drunken one night stand." I told her before she could suggest that as a possibility.
"Okay so what kind of 'horrible' mistake did you make? Right now I'm imagining you murdering the ShamWow guy. I know how much he annoys you." She said.
"Um, no see that would have been me doing the world a service, not a horrible mistake." I told her with a stupid grin.
She gasped.
Seriously though, who has a crush on the ShamWow guy? How is that humanly possible?
"I'm kidding. I didn't kill anyone. As far as I know, the object of your sick fetish is still breathing and rattling off annoying jargon at light speed, possibly from the inside of a jail cell" I told her, switching my phone to my other ear and hailing a cab.
"What?" She asked, rightly confused.
"Didn't you know he assaulted a prostitute? I had to watch the introductory legal proceeding for a law class, we even did a mock court and I got my sham jury to convict." I told her with a snort.
"Oh, well I guess you just can't trust anybody anymore…" She sighed.
"Yeah, especially when they are trying to sell you crappy, overpriced, useless products with a quantum amount of shipping and handling." I replied, stepping into the taxi that had just pulled up to the curb.
"So what was your big mistake again?" She asked.
"Oh Lor! Why'd you remind me? I had just stopped thinking about it! I felt so peaceful and then you bring it back to my attention." I whined.
"Well, sorry but it's only fair. You did just shatter my illusions about ShamWow guy and unless your horrific mistake is something that will go away on its own we should probably talk about it."
"I got a job today— actually like twenty minutes ago." I told her, after pausing to give the taxi driver my home address.
I had been met with, the same receptionist that had brought me to Mr. Myers office. She introduced herself this time as Nora, and told me Mr. Myers had paged her with instructions to brief me on my job and show me the contract I was going to be signing, which would legally bind me to giving them 3 weeks' notice if I wanted to leave and stipulated my pay would be a whopping $53,000 dollar salary for my first year. It offered a 'mandatory' three weeks' vacation time and the promise to reassess the contract next year. I signed it. Thanked her and then walked out of the building in a daze.
"Oh Max, That is great!" She shrieked. "I have been praying that you'd get a job soon so we could go out on the town and have fun like old times, when you still had some money to burn." She said, I could hear her smile.
"Well, yeah. I will be able to have some semblance of a life again, and pay off some of my crushing debt. There are positives, or I wouldn't have taken it." I said.
"Oh—no! You don't have to wear a lobster suit do you?" She asked with genuine alarm and concern.
"What? No of course not, why would you think that?" I asked, clearly my friend is crazy.
"I saw Fisherman Joe's was hiring, they had it on their billboard today. Apparently their mascot position was vacant. I was just trying to put two and two together."
I started to laugh, quietly at first but then heartily until I almost had tears in my eyes. My new job seemed like a wonderful option in contrast to being a lobster.
"What! Don't laugh at me, you are the one that said it was horrible, and you haven't exactly told me, I was just trying to get to the 'horrible' part that you seem so keen on avoiding."
"Girl, you crack me up, any job is better than that one! Now I feel like you won't think my new job is embarrassing enough to be considered legitimately horrible," I said.
"Well then out with it and I'll let you know, because if you can't tell, I'm dying here from anticipation." She stated, I began fidgeting with my purse zipper.
"I took a job with a law firm as a personal assistant." I told her,
"And?" She asked.
"And I'm working for Everett Myers." I told her, I felt myself cringe.
Silence for a moment and then Lorraine took it baton and ran with it.
"Oh! What, NO! Why?" I could imagine her fish out of water face, she probably had eyes as big a saucers. "I totally remember him in high school! Are you sure about this? The lobster job might still be up for grabs." Lorraine asked, she sounded stunned. I bet she was. This was so unlike me, she would never think I would stoop this low. Heck, I would never have stooped this low if I wasn't desperate.
"Yes, I agreed to it. A person is only as good as their word. I'm a lawyer, I can't be a liar or I'll just add to the stereotype." I deadpanned.
"Max, I am so sorry. I never knew things were this bad…Do you need some money? I have some savings tucked away—I" I cut her off.
"No Lor, not a chance. I have to get a job. My dad is right, I need to face the reality of this economy and take whatever I can get. And Everett actually apologized; which it something I never expected from him. I don't know…he just seems different."
"Oh my lanta. He is hot isn't he?" She asked, "I mean he was always decently good-looking and dressed well but he must be drop dead gorgeous if you are taking that job. Don't fall in love with him Maxima. I'm sure company policy frowns on that anyways but good grief if you fall for that asshole, I'll disown you as a friend." Lorraine told me warningly.
"Easy girl! You are jumping to also sorts of wild conclusion today!" I laughed. "Everett is good looking; I'll give him that, but trust me, I'm in no danger of falling for him. I'm not looking for anything more than a job and I can honestly say I wouldn't date him if he were the last guy on earth. I have standards, and I might have told him I forgive him but I'll never forget how mean he was to me."
"I know, he called you a dirty Mexican in front of Jason Wilds and the whole rest of the cafeteria!" She squawked with distain. "I remember how much you liked Jason. I remember how much it hurt you." Lorraine stated.
"Well, thanks for that, nothing like trudging up old heartaches to make a gal feel better about her life!" I stated sarcastically.
"Well, I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page. Everett Myers is an ass, he might be a fine ass, he might be a rich ass, he might be a smart ass, but at the end of the day he is an ass. Don't you ever forget it, okay?"
"Everett is an ass, I agree one hundred percent, but now he is my boss, so I won't be saying that again. I need to respect him because I work under him now." I told her.
"When you say work under him, that isn't a literal thing, right?" She was being silly now, I was onto to it. At least this meant she wasn't going to make me feel worse about taking the job.
"Well he is pretty sexy, so I might not be able to say 'no'…"I laughed.
"You better not you skank." She giggled.
"What am I going to tell my mother?" I asked.
"Start by telling her not to start planning your wedding and don't mention your boss is sexy."
"Lor I was kidding. Yessshh."
"But the truth is often told in jest darling, be careful!" She cautioned again.
I just laughed. Deciding not to make the comment and assure her we'd used protection.
"Oh man, I gotta go." She told me "I think my lasagna is burning!" She squawked.
"Love ya!" said but she gone, I heard the click of the hang up.