Hi everyone! This is another attempt at a story and I decided to re-tell some fairytales. This is the first one I've done and is more like a "taster" version but if it goes well I plan to do as many as I can which will also be longer :) Enjoy!

Climbing down off his fine steed Prince Charming stood below the tall tower and began to call out to the fair maiden he knew to be within.

"Fair maiden! Will you let down your beautiful golden locks?" His calling was greeted with silence. Unsure, Prince Charming called again and this time a face appeared, leaning over the edge of a window.

"What the bloody hell do you want? I've told your lot several times to sod off! I'm with D.A.M.S.E.L now!"

Startled Prince Charming couldn't help but confusedly ask what D.A.M.S.E.L was.

"You don't know what D.A.M.S.E.L is?" she sighed in irritation. "Dignified. Attractive. Maidenly. Sophisticated. Elegant. Ladies. Ugh you princes are all alike. Think you can come trotting over to a tower on your fancy steeds and just expect us to fawn all over you and then marry you. Well, I won't conform so bugger off!"

"Well what am I supposed to do now? I was meant to come and get you, then marry you, then we just live happily ever after..."

"That's not my problem is it? Maybe you should think about what we want! That plan of yours is all about you isn't it! Never think about the D.A.M.S.E.L behind it all do you?"

"Why did you call yourselves D.A.M.S.E.L if that's what you're trying to fight?"

"Ugh you're so dim, thank god I don't have to marry you...It's quite clearly ironic..." The maiden flicked her fringe back as she said this, looking down with disgust at Prince Charming.

"Oh...right...well I'll...I'll just be going then I suppose. Bye."

"And just for the record, Prince Brain-Dead, we're not all going to just have 'golden locks' because you stereotypically think we should! I've dyed my hair black so there!" With that the woman promptly slammed the window shut.

"Women eh, Sir Neighs-a-Lot?" muttered Prince Charming to his steed as he turned to climb back into the saddle. The window flew open and a chamberpot was flung out landing squarely on Prince Charming's head.

"How's that for a crown you sexist git!"