Smoke and Mirrors

My heart is failing, my mind is blank

My body running on an empty tank-

My hope is lost, my love denied

I want back all the tears I cried.

Broken, battered, betrayed and used,

Soul brutally raped; turned dark, confused-

A banshee wails inside my head, but

I know better than to ask after the dead.

A tiger wounded, taunted, caged

Eyes drained of color, defeated, aged.

A childish litany circles like a game

Round and round it cries… your name.

A curse, a prayer, a sigh, a hiss…

Both gentle and biting, a razorblade kiss.

Fangs hidden behind that caring smile,

An angel or snake at the turn of a dial.

Rainbows, delusions, painted over a lie

Slowly and painfully bleeding me dry.

Veins corroding, collapsed, refusing to breathe

The ailment you caused only you can ease.

The sunlight drops, burning and harsh,

Laughing as it sees behind the farce-

It knows my weakness, knows my pain

Sadistically withholds the soothing rain.

But on I troop, can't afford to be weak,

Clutching tight the words I can't speak-

Someday you'll change, admit you're wrong

Someday, maybe, I can be called strong.

My song in the dark, my pot of gold,

My protection from the winters' cold;

Still smoke and mirrors nonetheless

I doubt you'll fold, doubt I'd confess.

And so the wounds have yet to fade,

Though I guess that's the bed we made-

I run, I stumble, I fall to my knees…

But I'll die before I next say 'Please.'