Shaken

I've been wandering,

A long and lonely time,

In the darkness- lost.

My mind gone

My heart empty

My body numb,

Oblivious and uncaring.

I've spared not a glance

To the world I'd inhibited

Its acclaimed wonders paled.

My life unlived

My past unsolved

My soul untouched,

Clouded and frozen.

I've spoken not a word

Of the truth I'd lived daily

Or my thoughts unfiltered.

My dreams dark

My desires twisted

My feelings convoluted,

Inexplicable and unfounded.

I've denied everything of me

Claimed nothing for myself

Decided on indecision when pushed.

My will sapped

My control taken

My honor bound.

Unassuming and grateful.

And existence was… easy

But lacking spark or purpose,

Devoid of anything worthwhile.

My time unending

My hopes diminished

My drive a joke

Faltering and confused.

Change had come so swiftly,

What was once explosive, dulled,

Unlike anything I've ever known.

My fears realized,

My head swimming

My future… gone,

Enlightened and humbling.

Once thought saved, now destroyed-

Me shaken, and you distant

That life corrupted with no replacement.

My experiences worthless

My training discarded

My values questioned,

Raging and panicked.

I've known romance so sweet

Just to become embittered.

Alone again. Rejected.