Shaken
I've been wandering,
A long and lonely time,
In the darkness- lost.
My mind gone
My heart empty
My body numb,
Oblivious and uncaring.
I've spared not a glance
To the world I'd inhibited
Its acclaimed wonders paled.
My life unlived
My past unsolved
My soul untouched,
Clouded and frozen.
I've spoken not a word
Of the truth I'd lived daily
Or my thoughts unfiltered.
My dreams dark
My desires twisted
My feelings convoluted,
Inexplicable and unfounded.
I've denied everything of me
Claimed nothing for myself
Decided on indecision when pushed.
My will sapped
My control taken
My honor bound.
Unassuming and grateful.
And existence was… easy
But lacking spark or purpose,
Devoid of anything worthwhile.
My time unending
My hopes diminished
My drive a joke
Faltering and confused.
Change had come so swiftly,
What was once explosive, dulled,
Unlike anything I've ever known.
My fears realized,
My head swimming
My future… gone,
Enlightened and humbling.
Once thought saved, now destroyed-
Me shaken, and you distant
That life corrupted with no replacement.
My experiences worthless
My training discarded
My values questioned,
Raging and panicked.
I've known romance so sweet
Just to become embittered.
Alone again. Rejected.