Cowboy

There was a cowboy, living in the 1800s, and he was one day in a bar drunk as a skunk. A man came into the bar, and threw up all over the cowboy.

So the cowboy shot him. Three times. In the head.

At the court case, one of the jury members was unfortunate enough to pick up the gun. The cowboy yelled, "No! don't touch ma' personal propety with yo' fithy paws!" so he took the gun and shot the jury member.

At the execution, the cowboy looked each and every single person in the eye before turning to the judge.

"I'll be in heaven, waitin' for alla' ya. Especially you," he stared dead-eye at the judge, "Right at the gates. With a gun."