An: Hey sorry ive been major busy but here is a new story tell me what you think. I want MILLIONS of reviews PLEASE! Warning: Self harm, girlxgirl, and whatever else I decide to put in there. GRAPHIC. Just saying. REVIEW and enjoy :)


Shelby Conroy fought back a cry as her body fell to the ground, the arms holding her up forcefully pulled her back to her feet. The fist that hit her belonged to Sabrina De Mun, her number one hater. She contemplated faking a knock out, but decided not to be weak.

"Oh…Poor baby, did that hurt?" Sabrina laughed cruelly as her fist hit my bruised cheek again, this time her goons dropping me to the solid ground.

"Fag!" Her favorite goon Garrett yelled back as they played sick imitations of me crying, once they were out of earshot I conjured up the nerve to whisper curses. Rubbing my injured face I pulled myself together, straightened my clothes, swished my short bangs, and walked toward home.

Opening the grand wooden door I ran up the stairs before my mother had a chance to see me. Being rather rich my parents had a knack for making my haters parents pay for their kids' shenanigans. Quite literally. I knew they were going to find out, but I wanted to wait until the longest point possible...dinner. Opening my door and walking into my room I finally felt safe, my one haven. The white carpet and hot pink walls contrasted the black curtains, the walls filled with paintings and posters of the latest bands, the hottest girls (yes girls) and the best sayings. My queen size bed was the place I spent the most time, playing my bass. I walked over and dumped my bag in the circular chair, letting the books and papers spill to the ground. Looking in the full body mirror I saw a girl, scared and beaten. Me.

The girl staring back was in a black American Idiot shirt, guy's skinny jeans that was held around her lower waist with a rainbow belt, showing the plaid boxers. I smiled, I liked the way I looked, why didn't anyone else? My hair swished just above my deep blue eyes and it was a dark auburn. I thought I looked good for a rich gay girl. The only thing wrong with me was the deep purple bruise and small gash on my right cheek. I realized my sexuality at ten and found nothing wrong with it, coming out to my parents was easy, they accepted it in strides. They had no issue with their only baby girl being gay, even my brothers thought it was okay, picking on me occasionally but not anything severe. Being the youngest of four my parents treated me like a princess, giving me everything I ever wanted. You'd think that would have made me a rich brat but in reality I turned out alright.

But coming out to my friends...the kids at was hell. I lost all my friends except Natalie, who...happened to be bi, just not out of the closet. Being thirteen when I told people outside my family I wasn't completely naive. But the person who took it the worst was Sabrina, my best friend. She immediately stopped being close to me, it hurt more than anything... it was like she thought I had a disease or something. She became more hostile the older we got...and made it a point to give me a weekly beat down. I knew I was stronger, that I could take her, even with her "friends". But... she's still my best friend, in my heart at least.

"Shelby!" My mom called me down and I glanced over at the clock, it had been two hours already. And still facing the mirror I realized I had been staring at myself in the mirror for well over two hours. I walked to the stairs, closing my door on the way. Hoping my parents would overlook the huge purple area on my face, and ignore the scabbed gash in the middle of the purple.

I stepped into the kitchen and saw my mother, still in her office suit, pacing on the phone with a serious expression plastered to her face. She held up her index finger to me, not looking. But when she did, whoever was on the phone had a rather rude hang up. She dropped the phone to the floor and her eyes were the size of saucers.

"What the hell happened Shelby!" I sighed, she always over exaggerated things.

"Nothing Mom. Just let it go." I grabbed a plate and dished out the take out mom brought home.

"No, tell me right now." I put a spoon full of whatever it was in my mouth, not looking up. I sat still until I heard the door open and a cheerful voice called to us.

"I'm home, dinner ready?" A man of about five ten walked into the tension and he ran his hand through his shady blonde hair. Without looking at me, he knew.

"Look at her face Tyler! It's beaten!" He sighed,

"We can't keep making their parents pay for the kids' cruelty Sophia." She huffed and crossed her arms.

"Like hell I can't." He sighed and grabbed a plate, filling it with food.

"I'll talk with Sabrina's parents in the morning." I shifted in my seat, he already knew who it was, and I never said it was Sabrina. Out of curiosity I sat up and faced my father.

"How do you know it was Sabrina?" He looked at me skeptically,

"She's been the number one perpetrator from the get go Shelby, why are there more of them?" I clamped my mouth shut and ate the dinner in front of me.

"No, Tyler, we're moving to Oakland." My eyes bulged out of my head choking on the milk I happened to be drinking. Oakland? That's across the country! What the hell, is she crazy!

"Now Sophia, don't overreact." She strutted over to the chair where he was sitting.

"OVERREACT! DON'T OVERREACT TYLER! HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR DAUGHTER OR DO YOU JUST NOT CARE?" She stomped off, grabbing the keys off the shelf and slamming the back door. I looked down at my plate, setting the napkin down next to it.

"I'm going to might want to, she's probably going to get the stuff to sell the house." He nodded, holding his head in his hands, muttering to himself. I packed my bags and sat on my empty bed, staring into nothing, thinking. What seemed like hours later mom walked in, looking like crap and smelling like booze.

"I see your ready, that's good. We're leaving in the morning." I nodded, not coming out of my daze. There were so many questions I had, one being how the fuck can we get all this shit done by tomorrow.

"Mom?" She raised her eyebrows and stood at my door frame.

"Yes?" I looked down,

"How are we going to do this?" She stood there thinking in her alcohol induced stupor.

"Well, we are just going to." I've seen that look on my mother before it normally meant shit was happening. I sighed and curled up on the bare mattress, knowing my father was calling the school, his work, everything. Getting the paperwork set up for the cross country move, the more I heard his words on the phone the more depressed I became, what about Natalie?

I felt the bed vibrate and I picked my head up, glancing out the window it had to be early morning, maybe three-ish. Glancing at my phone from where the sound was coming; I opened it, the screen read Natalie. What does she want this early? I hit the send button and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?" My voice sounded like a frog had curled up and slept in my voice box and I knew she was trying hard not to laugh.

"I need you." When she said that I jumped out of the bed and ran to the bathroom, looking in the mirror trying to get the make-up from the corners of my eyes. Fixing my hair that was sticking up, running a brush through it.

"I'm on my way." I could hear her voice small and quiet utter an okay. I clicked the dial and ran downstairs to the mud room and put on my converse. I ran out the door and sprinted down the street, she only ever called when she was very suicidal. She would only call this early if she was about to do it. My imagination ran away with me and all I could see was her dying in various ways: shooting herself, bleeding out, overdosing and the closer I got to her house the worse they became. I ignored the chill of the night and the thudding of my shoes against the pavement, then I ran past Sabrina's house and subconsciously slowed down, trying to be as quiet and fast as possible. I jumped out of my skin when I saw her light on, and her in the window, staring.

I stopped and tried to hide in the shadows, afraid and nervous, but it was too late. She saw me, she saw me try to hide and her eyes seemed to narrow. Or...was that tears? I couldn't tell but I didn't have time to find out I had to get to Natalie. I started sprinting again; my asthma catching up with me and ignored the searing pain that constricted my throat. A few hard lefts, four yards, and two streets later I was coughing up a lung outside her house. I tried to calm my breathing and be quiet but I just couldn't help wheezing. I took a small pebble and shoved it in my pocket grabbing the ivy ladder, softly lifting myself onto her roof. Once on; I went to the room that I knew so well, the room that had the light radiating from it and tapped the glass.

This may be creepy to most but she and I had been doing this for years, we didn't even jump anymore when we heard the rapping of the window. I saw her, eyeliner running down her cheeks, hair in a clump sticking to her tear stained face and the blood running down her arm. She opened the window and I grabbed her arm, leading her to the bathroom. It didn't look deep and I knew it wasn't life threatening, I looked her in the eyes and the dark brown ones stared back, empty. After she was cleaned and wrapped it seemed she was in a trace, like nothing mattered.

"Why Nat...why?..." She looked up at me and more tears dripped onto her shirt. I pulled her close and let her cry, her hands kneading my back her voice broken into sobs. I let her cry until the sun started to come up, then I sat her on the bed wiping the tears away.

"Better?" She nodded then pulled her knees close beckoning me to join her. I plopped down onto the bed, trying to figure out how to coax the words out.

"Sweetie, what happened?" She took a shaky, deep sigh.

"Mom hour ago." I started to feel the hotness reach my face, my eyes stung and I found us both crying on each other. Mrs. Anderson had been sick and dying for a long time, laying in a hospital bed for months and we knew she wasn't going to make it this time, she was just too weak. She had a disease brought on by years of being weak and sick.

"Dad's too sad to care about us, and I can't take seeing him...I want to die Shelby, please...let me?"

"No." If I told her I'm moving she would kill herself, I need to bring her with me. Then I had an idea.

"I have to go see how Mr. Anderson and Katherine are doing; I'll be right back, ok?" She nodded and curled up under her comforter. I walked down the hall I knew so well and opened the door to his room.

"Mr. Anderson?" I didn't hear anything and I walked in to find him and Katie crying in each other's arms, I couldn't hold it in any longer, I burst out sobbing. He looked up; his red eyes glazed from crying welcomed me to join them. After a while we all stopped and sat down, and he started pouring his heart out to me.

"I don't know what to do without her... She was my life, it's so hard to look at the girls, they look just like her. I could maybe handle one, but both? I don't know how I'm going to do this." I nodded, and took my opportunity.

"I know this is a bad time, but where moving to Oakland, and I really need Natalie and she needs me. Katie could stay here with you and you can see Nat whenever you want, we'll pay for your trips." He almost looked relieved, but maybe I miss interpreted it.

"Yes, as long as I can see her whenever and she's happy..." I nodded and walked back to her room. I flung the blanket off of her and took boxes out of her closet, packing her stuff. She looked up the confusion evident on her face.

"What are you doing?" I didn't answer but kept packing until she got up and grabbed my arm, making me look at her.

"You're coming to live with California." Her eyes widened and she started crying harder.


"Yes, but so are you, now stop crying and help me."

"It's okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah, your dad said it was okay." She stopped and started packing. A few hours later I felt my phone vibrate, I forgot my parents didn't know where I was. I walked out of the room and locked myself in the bathroom. I hit the green button and put the phone to my ear.


"Where are you young lady!" My mother was on the other end in near rampage.

"I'm at Natalie's."

"Did you even ask? And you can't just sneak ou-"I interrupted her midsentence.

"Mrs. Anderson died a few hours ago." Silence. Dead silence. The crackling of the line was all that I could hear.


"I...I didn't know. I'm so sorry."

"And Natalie is coming with us, Mr. Anderson can't take care of two girls, I told him that we'd pay for him to come see her whenever he wants."

"Sounds good, tell him that it's no problem and we'll do anything for him and the girls." Steven Anderson had been my father's lifelong friend, and Andrea Anderson was my mothers. They were as close as two could be without dating. After I hung up I went back to find Natalie standing over a broken snow globe, just staring as if she had just crushed a child.

"What's wrong?" Her expression didn't change, all that moved was her lips.

"That was the last thing mom gave me..." I stared at the water sliding across her wood floor and the figures sliding off the sharp glass. I moved her aside and picked up the shards, putting them in her waste basket.

"Come on...keep packing." She didn't say anything, just moved in a trance, silent and obedient.

After a few hours we had finished and we were loading her things onto the moving van with our stuff. The look on her face was too much... I hated to see her so dejected. I hugged her and kissed her forehead.

"I love you Nat, don't ever forget that." I felt her nod against my shoulder and I let her say goodbye to her father and sister. We saw the colors blur against the horizon and the sun was overhead. I held Natalie in the backseat and let her cuddle close, no matter how annoyed I felt. I wasn't exactly what you call a 'touchy-feely' person. She needed me more then I needed comfort. We were leaving our old lives behind and starting anew, or so I thought.