135Uncomfortable. That was the only word for the car ride to Alex's favourite cafe Roxanne decided, after she had shifted in her seat for the umpteenth time.
Alex had the radio on low; the music barely a whisper to her ears where she sat in the back seat next to Logan. She'd found herself pressed up against the car door, hardly breathing in the relative silence.
She'd kept her eyes firmly fixed forward, occasionally catching Logan watching her through her peripheral vision. She'd blinked, refusing to outwardly acknowledge that she'd caught his glances; it didn't really need to be any more awkward than it already was. She could do nothing to prevent the heat rising in her cheeks, however.
Sitting at their table in the cafe was just as uncomfortable, but at least food was a small distraction.
Do I dare eat this? Roxanne stared warily down at the greasy food. Just the smell threatened to up heave her stomach.
"Eat Roxie," Alex waved his fork at her, "you'll feel better, trust me."
Despite herself her eyes met the icy blue gaze, she'd spent the entire car ride adamantly avoiding, for reassurance.
Logan nodded. "It works every time, you can trust him."
She slowly nudged the bacon with her fork sceptically before lifting it to her mouth.
"Good?" Alex asked and then at her nod continued, "We need to talk about your lack of trust in me. I'm hurt little sis."
Roxanne swallowed her second bite of bacon, "Oh please..." She tucked eagerly into her sausage, feeling less likely to empty her stomach contents onto the table with every bite.
Alex stretched back in his seat, yawning. "Was a good night, last night," he glanced sideways at his sister, "for the most part."
Oh please, please don't bring up the flashing now!
"Chaotic," Logan added, scooping beans onto his fork, "with all those guys coming onto `Foxy little Roxie` here." His tone was mocking.
Foxy little Roxie, she remembered that. A guy who'd been relatively drunk, had chatted her up for quite some time, he'd taken to calling her Foxy little Roxie until a slightly amused Logan had stepped up to him and said "Mate, back off, she's spoken for." Logan had taken to calling her Foxy little Roxie all night after that.
Alex laughed. "Man, I'm really feeling those Sambuka shots right now."
Logan grunted his agreement and Roxanne's stomach lurched at the thought of alcohol. "Speaking of which how's your bruise, Rox?" he asked looking over at her in mild curiosity.
Roxanne blinked back at Logan blankly. Bruise? What bruise?
"Your knee?" He gestured with one hand towards her left knee, frowning slightly.
She rested her foot on the seat of her chair, tugging the loose jogging bottom leg up past her knee and stared numbly.
"Fucking hell, Rox!" Alex cursed as Logan grimaced. "No more alcohol for you!"
She couldn't help but agree. She didn't remember getting it and judging by the size and colour of the thing she really should have. "How the hell did I get that?" She tugged her trouser leg back down and dropped her foot back onto the floor, careful not to bang her knee on the table.
"You don't remember?" Alex frowned at her.
"No, there are a lot of things I don't remember," she replied, her eyes fixed on Logan.
"You whacked it on a bar stool, three shots in." Logan supplied, fiddling with his toast before he looked up, away from her.
She tried her hardest to remember. She remembered the shots or at least some of them but the bar stool might as well have not happened.
"Dude, is that a love bite on your neck?" Alex asked around a mouthful of egg, waving his fork in the general direction.
Roxanne felt her cheeks flush as Logan looked down from his idle inspection of the ceiling. "What?" he asked curiously.
Alex, smirking, tapped his own neck. "You get lucky after I left?"
Logan's fingers trailed over the marred skin. His eyes flickered towards her before abruptly snapping back to Alex as though he'd thought better of it. He snorted, smiling slightly. "You could say that, I don't know how lucky getting attacked on the dance floor by a girl one drink away from paralytic is though."
Roxanne watched her brother laugh, unease filling her stomach. She didn't like how easily Logan lied to Alex, first with the bra and now this? He didn't even take time to answer; he had one right there ready. How often had he lied to her and she'd taken it as truth? She'd certainly have to take anything he said to her with a grain of salt from now on.
"I'd say that's lucky," Alex said with a grin, "but my standards ain't high these days." He climbed to his feet. "I'm getting another drink, want anything?"
Roxanne shook her head, casting a dismal glance at her full glass of orange juice. Every sip was one closer to leaning over the toilet bowl. Her body seemed to remember more about last night than her mind did, it told her she'd drank too many doubles with orange juice.
"A coke," she heard Logan say as she turned her attention to the view out the window.
"You gave me a love bite?" Logan asked in disbelief as soon as Alex was out of ear shot.
She turned her head slowly back towards him and shrugged, playing down the blush in her cheeks. "I don't know, I barely remember. Didn't you just say a drunken girl on the dance floor gave it to you?" Her tone was sharper than she had intended, he looked at her in surprise.
"Well I was hardly going to tell him it was you, was I?" he bit back.
"He would have thought you were kidding anyway." She dismissed.
"I don't think he would, actually." Logan replied quietly.
"Why?"
Logan stared at her thoughtfully before slowly replying, "You're brother's protective of you, he doesn't like the guys joking about you like that."
"Really?" she raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "What about all the times you said you could get me into bed. Alex was right there and didn't bat an eyelid" The arsehole of a brother. Her eyes narrowed as she watched his face closely.
He grinned. "I'm special."
"Hmm." This conversation was getting her nowhere. She pushed the remainder of her fried egg with her fork, watching the yolk spill out over the plate in disinterest.
"He saw your bra on my floor," Logan started quietly; "he's a smart guy. It wouldn't be hard to figure it out."
"Oh please," she looked up at him, "you're his best friend. He wouldn't believe you had a one night stand with me even if you told him out right!"
"It's more complicated than I can explain right now." Logan replied, his voice still not rising to match hers. His eyes watched Alex flirt at the counter, drink in hand.
"Of course," she snapped irritated at the use of his words, "Just as with everything huh? Things were too complicated for you to explain to Jen why you were breaking her heart too, weren't they."
Roxanne and Logan never had had a fantastic relationship, they often argued and upset each other (sometimes not on purpose) but she didn't hate him, not until her best friend Jenny had thrown herself at Logan, slept with him within the hour only to be dumped the next day. He'd said "things were complicated" and that he was "sorry."
Tired, overused, meaningless crap.
Logan blinked, sitting up straight from where he'd been lounging back in his chair. His eyes snapped to hers, away from her brother making his way back to their table. "She told you about that?" he asked warily.
"Of course," she replied shortly even as she felt her stomach swoop with the sudden realisation that she'd essentially done exactly the same thing as Jenny had, except without the feelings. God, wasn't she supposed to learn from her friends mistakes?
"Rox-"
"Hey, Logan!" Alex called as he walked the last five feet. "Are we meeting James and Co at Papersun tonight?"
"Fuck no!" Logan scowled back, "I can't be near alcohol right now."
Hmm, looks like she caught him on a sore subject.
Her brother turned to her, hopeful. "His sister will be there?"
Roxanne sighed, "Would be good to see Taylor but I'm gunna have an early night. I have lectures first thing Monday morning and all."
Alex shook his head disappointed as he placed the two cokes on the table and re-took his seat. "Fine. Fresher's are so damn well behaved; you can't even miss one lecture."
Logan snorted. "I don't think that sums up fresher's at all. That's just Roxanne." His tone was cold and his eyes narrowed in a glare at the table.
"Aw don't be all sulky, Alex, nothing's stopping you from heading down." Roxanne nudged his side with her elbow, deciding that ignoring Logan would be better for the both of them. Normally she'd have taken the bait, normally they'd end up arguing and pissing each other off, normally she'd be striving to protect her heart at all costs but her head begged her to not take part in anything mentally taxing in the current state it was in.
"Yeah I guess,"
"I don't know how you can even think of alcohol personally."
Alex grinned at her. "To be honest you did most of the heavy drinking, Roxie. Sure we were all pissed but..." he glanced over at Logan with a slight laugh, "Well at least when you went into the lead you took Logan with you. He had to keep wrestling your drinks off of you and down them himself; we didn't want you passing out in the club."
Roxanne's mouth went dry; the anxiousness that had sat at the back of her mind all morning moved to the forefront. Something had happened last night, something big and shocking and... What the fuck was it!
"Oh, here man." She heard Alex say, pushing one coke across the table to Logan, as her mind whirred, running through hazy memories.
She licked her lips unconsciously, frowning at her glass of orange juice. Vodka and orange, she remembered vodka and orange... not that that was a strange thing, she drank it all the time but at least it was something.
She glanced up startled as her orange juice was taken away and Logan's requested coke took its place. She frowned quizzically at him as he took a sip of her orange juice.
"I'd stay away from orange juice for a few days, if I was you." he murmured, not quite meeting her eye.
"You two are acting as though I've never been drunk before!" She threw herself back in her seat with exasperation. "Seriously?"
"Roxie," Alex's usual friendly tone was laced with amusement, "you flashed a group of guys at request. This wasn't just drunk it was –"
"Fucked." Logan supplied, pushing his plate away.
"Shit-faced."
"One drink away from paralytic." Logan froze as Alex shot him a small frown before turning back to his sister.
"Suicidal." He shook his head at her. "We're not telling you off, we're looking out for ya. If it wasn't for the circumstance I would have had a go about the flashing already."
Circumstance? Does he mean all the alcohol? Or this big mystery event that no one will bloody talk about!
It hadn't been hard to notice the way the two boys had been steering and directing the conversation carefully away from it. She was determined to remember what it was and made a mental note to ask Logan later, vaguely remembering that he said he needed to talk to her about it anyway. She wouldn't ask Alex, she'd rather not show him the true extent of her apparent blackout; she'd rather no one knew but Logan had already discovered that much.
"Right, let's go home." Alex said before yawning widely. "I'm gunna go back to bed."
"Yeah, me too," Logan agreed, standing and pocketing his phone. "I got a ridiculously little amount of sleep last night."
Roxanne nodded wordlessly, following them out of the cafe without complaint. She listened to Logan and Alex arguing over who got to drive as they approached the silver car.
"I can drive, it's fine." Logan said.
"Nope," Alex grinned over at him, "with the amount you drank I'd figure you're still over the legal limit."
"No, I'm f-"
"Dude, I'm driving."
Roxanne climbed into the backseat as soon as Alex had unlocked the car with Logan, on the opposite side, not far behind her. She watched her brother walk around to the front, inspecting his wiper blades closely. Every extra second before he got into the car added to the anxious nausea that was beginning to feel like a permanent fixture in her stomach.
She glanced warily at Logan out of the corner of her eye while trying to keep track of Alex at the same time. He was staring right at her. A small frown making him look more serious than she'd ever seen him look.
Serious Logan made her uncomfortable and wary. She was starting to miss the usual cocky, cheerful guy she'd known for so long; he'd seemed to disappear at some point the previous day.
Swallowing the lump in her throat she turned to face him, it was probably better in the long run to face him rather than avoid him. Avoiding him would prolong the awkwardness between them and with how close their lives were they really couldn't afford to be awkward around each other, it would be far too exhausting.
"Rox," Logan said, his voice low, "about Jenny...What - what did she say?"
Her jaw tightened. "She told me what happened."
Logan hesitated, looking away out the windscreen at Alex, "...What I said?"
Roxanne nodded slowly, "Yeah, but it's more of what you did that makes you an arsehole."
He stared at her. "...Right." She was pretty sure he was aiming for sounding certain and not lost and confused.
The driver's car door banged open.
"Some bastard's broken our wind wiper!"
Logan's eyes darted quickly to Roxanne and then back to Alex; he raised an eye-brow as Roxanne jolted her head up a little. "Oh, really?" he asked him.
Oh fuck... I broke the wind wiper.
The realisation was both wonderful and dreadful. The ecstatic joyfulness she felt at remembering merged and contorted with the shame and guilt, the ever increasing anxious weight was heavy in the pit of her stomach.
They had wandered slowly home, there had been something about the cold air would be good for her, and to a lesser degree him, so they hadn't taken a cab but they had stopped for burger and chips. Roxanne was still eating her, now cold, burger when they'd rounded the street corner a few dozen metres from home. She'd spotted a flyer pinned down by the wind wiper on Alex and Logan's car and, despite having sobered up considerably, when she lifted the wiper to grab it she'd snapped the plastic clean in two. Logan had spent the next five to ten minutes trying to position it back into place in a way that it didn't look broken while Roxanne had sat herself down on the curb, apologising one minute and laughing the next like a two track CD on repeat.
Once they were in the flat Logan had poured her a glass of water and she'd...Jesus... She kissed him. He'd asked if she would regret it in the morning, she'd answered no but...
I do.
She glanced across the back seat as Alex pulled onto the street leading up to their flat. Logan was staring out his window, a frown on his reflection. The anger she'd felt towards him all morning drained away leaving her feeling hollow and... God, she didn't know what she was feeling.
She'd tried to decipher this all the way up to their flat door before something Alex said brought her back to her surroundings.
"What?" Roxanne stared askance at Alex, thinking she might have heard him wrong. "You can't be serious?"
"Yeah," he closed the flat door behind them and patted his stomach before making his way over to the fridge, "I think we still have yesterday's cheesecake in here somewhere."
"How can you be hungry, we just ate a breakfast for two each!"
"Sis, I can eat a breakfast for three quite easily. I didn't get dinner last night after all."
Roxanne sighed, turning away from her brother only to catch sight of Logan inspecting his love-bite in the living room mirror. She watched his fingers trail over it lightly and heard Alex chuckle, amused, behind her.
Logan's eyes met hers in the reflection and with a lopsided grin he winked at her. Her cheeks flamed.
AN:
Thanks for reading. I really appreciate all the favourites and alerts I recieved but nothing makes me happier than reviews :). I'd really like to know your thoughts and feelings about this story, especially as it's in it's first draft.
Thanks for those returning to read it after such a long break, I never intended for this chapter to take so long however life, as it often does, intervened.
I'd also like to thank the person who PM'd me to say they nominated my one-shot for the Skow awards. It doesn't matter to me that Best Shot didn't make it through to the short list, having it nominated for a nominee position is enough. Thank you so much :).