Forgive me if this is crappy… This is my first time writing with a little humor, so be nice. This is different from anything I've tried to write. Just… give it a try and review, so that I can know that I'm not a total failure at life XD

What's with all these stories about kids in boarding schools?


Can't someone just think of a different storyline?

Oh here, you're getting sent to a boarding school because you're mommy and daddy are going to Australia or somewhere equally unlikely where real parents would go, and they mysteriously don't want to take you.

There's a shocker. And then, usually, the boarding school kid ends up with a perfect roommate that they are best friends with, and they end up falling in love. Uh, yeah, like that's going to happen in real life.

Why am I even writing this? I'm not going to keep a freaking diary. I did try that once. Or twice. Maybe that's why I have like 10 notebooks strewn around my room.

Okayyy. Im done, rant over.

I flipped the notebook shut and leaned back in my seat with a huff.

"What was that, honey?'' dad asked me jovially from the front seat.

"Erm, nothing. Just writing about how exciting this is going to be," I replied, feigning sweetness.

"You're keeping a diary while we're in Australia about your boarding school experience?" mom asked excitedly. So, erm, yes. That was about me. I couldn't be more disgusted with life right about now. I was about to fulfill every horrible, cliché storyline in the world at my new school.

"No," I told her firmly. She sank back into her chair with a disappointed sigh.

"Why can't I just… Go with you guys?" I whined unattractively, purposely announcing the most cliché line of every story like this to see if they would notice.

My father started, "Well, Mollie…" he stopped, and gave my mother an unsure look.

"What you're father is trying to say, dear,'' my mother took over, "Is, well, we don't know."

At my glare, she hurriedly continued. "It will be good for you, sweetie, and um… You'll make new friends."

"It cost money, didn't it," I asked flatly.

They glanced at each other guiltily. "Maybe almost 3,000 for the whole year."

"The whole year?" I yelped dramatically. But, God. This wasn't because they were going to Australia, which I knew they were. It was obviously some sort of evil plan to get rid of me. I gave in to my inner toddler and slouched in the seat, arms folded and my lip pouting dangerously.

Mom burst into laughter at my face, then quickly stopped when I glared at her evilly.

"I'm sorry, dear. But we were going to be in Australia for a year."

"Were going to be?" I was being nit-picky about her words, but I had good reason.

"Well, yes." Mom gazed lovingly at my dad and took his hand."But part of the trip got cancelled, so we rented a small house in Hawaii, and we're going to stay there after we go to Australia. As a sort of second honeymoon, if you will."

"Where did you get all of this money?" I asked them suddenly. My hand found its way to the rip in the middle of the car's backseat, then to the melted crayon that had never been cleaned out from when I was six. This car was built in the 90's, for heaven's sake! It wasn't as though we were super rich and could afford a 3,000 dollar boarding school and then, a trip to Hawaii on top of Australia!

"Well…" now mom unsurely at my dad for him to think of a way to answer.

"Grandma's dead," he told me.

I gasped in shock. Grandma Prune? Who got me socks for Christmas? Who sent me five bucks for my birthday because she couldn't drive from the next neighborhood over to see me herself?

So maybe, maybe she wasn't the best grandma in the world. But how could I not know this?

"Anyway, she had a great deal of money stashed away, and me being the only son, I got it instead of Auntie Lisa," Dad told me.

"And we needed a romantic getaway, so he said "Let's go to Australia!"" mom interrupted with a laugh. "Didn't you, honey?"

"I sure did," dad smiled in a jolly way.

"But I didn't want to go to boring old Australia. So he told me that we could go to Hawaii. I checked online for a house, and their happened to be one right on the beach! So I rented it."

"And sent me to boarding school." I was feeling more and more grumpy, and I was getting a headache.

"Well, dear, it wouldn't be a second honeymoon if you were there, would it?" mom seemed all gooey and romantic and in no way thinking about my feeling as dad kissed her hand.


"All right then."

I let out a slow, rather pissed off breath, then grinned evilly as I thought out a well rehearsed way to annoy my parents.

I gently began to kick the back of my dad's chair.

"Sweetie, I know you're excited, but try not to kick."

I waited, then kicked harder.

'"Mollie. Suppress the enthusiasm dear."



Time for phase two. I giggled a little at that thought. Who knew that I take my plans so seriously?

"I'm sorry, daddy, but I'm huuuunnnggrryy," I put a little extra whine into my voice. After all, if they were going to treat me like I was a little kid as they had done all of my life, I was going to act the part.

"You ate just an hour ago dear."

"I'm hungry nowww," my voice was shrill.

My dad took a look at my mom. "What do you think Marlene? Should we get her food? Or will it spoil her?"

My mom took a look at my face, which I made pouty on purpose.

"Yes, Shawn. She needs a childhood. She's only sixteen, don't have to worry about responsibility 'til next year."

When they got me a burger, "It has pickles, dad. I said no pickles."

Driving again, "I got to pee."

And finally, when we got into Paradise, the town with my exciting boarding school, I let loose with a "Are we there yet?"

And finally, finally, we pulled in front of a beige building, about 5 stories high.

It looked really boring, which was disappointing. One would think that with such a cliché life, the building would be tall and grand with bricks and grassy lawns and such. But no. Just a few droopy bushes and gravel in parking lot.

"We're here," dad breathed in relief and opened the trunk to get my bags.

"I got 'em," I grabbed my suitcase and duffel.

"Here, sweetie," dad pressed something in my hand.

Holy F-bomb….. A credit card?

"Really?" I looked up at dad. He nodded slowly.

"We have the money."

I wrapped him up in a huge hug. I suddenly thanked God and the universe for Aunt Prune's death, as guilty as it made me feel.

I kissed mom on the cheek on my way in, dad close by.

We registered on the inside of the building.

"Welcome, Mollie. You're room is number 171. Here is your schedule, and the rulebook. Make yourself at home. Class begins at 8:00."

Well, that was quick. I turned and gave dad one last hug.

"Well…. Bye," He waved as he exited the building. I made a face at him behind his back childishly, then spun around and hugged myself.

Suddenly things turned around. I had a credit card. No one in any cliché boarding school story had that, so ha.

I picked up my bags and ran to my room, screeching "So long, suckers!" to my parents car, already on the road.