June/July/August: Poem

Final Chapter…For Now

Many times I have thought of writing this,

The Final Chapter

Of this story,

And the beginning

Of its' sequel

What shall I say?

How can I write down an "ending"?

In reality, though, there is no ending

Because my life continues,

With or without Him,

And so far,

I have felt much better off without Him

Do you remember that letter I mentioned?

The one I said I would write Him

Well, I did,

Wrote it all out in a rush,

Told him about all the emotions I felt for Him and used to feel for Him,

And as I did, all the overwhelming emotions and mixed thoughts went away…

For the most part

At graduation day I gave it to Him,

Just not personally…

Somebody else close to me did…

I won't say that I didn't look around me constantly,

I'd wished the urge to look for Him went away,

But after all,

He was the boy who made me want to look up When He Walked By

The thought of him coming up to me and asking to talk to me aside

Was both appealing and frightening,

But I wanted to know his reaction to the whole thing,

See it play it out in front of my eyes,

Even if He shouted and screamed in my face and told the whole world I really damn liked Him

I wanted to see Him laughing in my face,

Shatter that stupid illusion of Him being anything other than cruel and cold-hearted

But at the same time,

I know it would have made me look like a fool in front of my family and friends,

And my reputation isn't up for destruction

It's much too important to have it shattered by (a weird) longing

Two weeks went by

And I finally got a bit of what I wanted

A mutual friend told me that everybody knew,

Meaning that He had told all his friends 'bout IT…

I hadn't expected any less from Him…

She told me He said that He was still in love with Mrs. Bitchy Girlfriend, though those weren't his exact words

And Mrs. Bitchy Girlfriend got jealous after she found out and called me a b-h…

Ironic part of my nickname for her is what she called me, huh?

After that He's pretty much out of sight,

Out of mind and heart

The only time I think of Him is when I'm writing a song or the occasional time when He pops into my mind

He's pretty much done and over with now

I've scribbled on about him enough and now it's all erased, a fresh start, leaving behind just a scar on my heart

By the time June came by, the time in which I gave him the letter, my heart had broken down more than once (because of him) and it was past Recovery,

So his words meant nothing,

To me, He meant nothing

Him and his Mrs are what I dread the most about going to high school—I can already smell the Drama

Hopefully, they'll be easy to avoid

Wish me luck

'Cuz this might not be the last chapter I post…

Thank you SO much for your support and for sharing your stories with me :) it means so much to me :). I have learned a lot about life through writing this story, especially because of your reviews and how reflecting I think these entries were. A special thanks to my *VERY* special friend, Caitie Manda, who has been my main supporter from the beginning and is my awesome co-author for my other story. I love you all and I hope this isn't the last time I "talk" with some of you :).