"I told Charles about the Christmas pig incident."

I'm lying on Harper's bed watching her tweeze her eyebrows. I see her lift her eyebrow in the mirror but I'm not sure if she's doing it to get a better look at what she's tweezing or if she's doing it because she's surprised by my statement.

"Well, that was certainly a sexy conversation for a first date." Harper says with a dry tone. "Did you also tell him about the time my dad made you puke from crying so hard?"

"No. I probably would have though had it come up in conversation." I pick at a hang nail on my hand.

"Ian, one of the things I like most about you is your openness and honesty but you gotta learn to reel it in. People like us don't get to spill secrets and feelings. We'd end up in foster care with some crackhead responsible for us." Harper yanks out a hair with her tweezers; there's a small bit of blood running down her eyebrow.

"Yeah. I know." I roll over onto my back and stare at the ceiling.

It's silent for a few minutes and I feel myself start to relax and fall asleep.

"How's practice for the benefit going?" I can hear Harper rummaging around, probably trying to grab a tissue for her nicked eyebrow.

I crack open my eyes.

"Jacob and Michael keep arguing over whether certain songs are tasteless or appropriate for a benefit about suicide"

"You should just play some nice smooth jazz for the old people and leave it at that."

"I don't think we know any smooth jazz. Do you even know what smooth jazz is?"

"Mmmhmmm. It's elevator music."

"What kind of music did your mom even listen to, anyway? Maybe we should play her favorite songs."

I almost immediately regret the question as I can feel Harper tense up near me. The silence goes on for so long I almost think Harper isn't going to answer.

"I don't know. She didn't listen to music from what I can remember. She just sat in bed all day and cried."

"About what?"

"Everything, I guess." Harper sighs loudly "She was deeply unhappy. I guess I would be too if I ended up married to someone like my dad."

"Same."

"Your mom was kind of normal before she married my dad wasn't she? I mean she wasn't a drunk at least."

"She didn't drink at all."

My mom acted like one of those mom's on TV before she married Harper's dad.

"He ruins everyone and everything. What chance do I have to not be a stain on humanity with his DNA?" Harper comes to lay down beside me, rolling on her side to look at me.

"DNA isn't everything."

"No but the nature versus nurture debate is null and void because no matter how people become who they are, I end up being screwed up." Harper points out "I have the DNA of a suicide victim and a sociopathic abuser for the nature side and conversely for the nurture side, I was raised in a loveless household and abused in every way imaginable as a kid. Not exactly a recipe to grow into a well-adjusted adult who benefits society in any way."

"Well if it makes you feel any better I have the DNA of a deadbeat dad and an alcoholic mother and I was raised just like you so we're both probably going to end up maladjusted and crazy. So at least you won't be the only stain on humanity." I smile up at Harper as she flicks my nose.

The next day, while on my way to lunch, Ethan grabs my shoulders and leads me away from the cafeteria.

"Uhhh" I eloquently say before Ethan loudly shushes me.

"You don't want to go to lunch today, trust me." Ethan says, nodding his head emphatically.

"You know I bring my lunch, right? So if the food isn't good that's okay…"

"Ian please, this is me you're talking to. Do you think I'd steer you away from the cafeteria because the food wasn't good? Blasphemy. All food is good."

"Ok." I say as I let Ethan steer me into the dark music room and to a set of empty chairs in the back.

We sit in the dark for a minute in silence.

"Yeah I probably should have turned the light on when we walked in." Ethan says before getting up and flicking on the switch.

He grins at me as he walks back to his seat.

"So why are we eating in the music room and not the cafeteria? And are we even allowed to eat in here?"

"Michael has a girlfriend. And I think we're allowed in here, I don't know actually but really what could they do? Punish us for eating?"

"What does Michael having a girlfriend have to do with us trespassing into the music room to eat alone like weirdos?

"Do you want to be in the same room as him and Jacob when Jacob finds out?" Ethan asks, stuffing some chips into his mouth.

"Maybe…" I say out loud, imagining Jacob throwing food in Michael's face.

"Some people just want to watch the world burn." Ethan says, shaking his head.

"Who is the girl, anyway?" I ask as I open my yogurt container.

"No one important." Ethan says, waving his arm away from his face as if swatting Michael's girlfriend away.

"I think she'd disagree with you." I say dryly.

"It's Denise Nichols. But it doesn't matter because she's just a rebound. Plus, Michael is gay, anyway."

"I think the fact that he slept with my sister and is now dating a girl kind of makes your last statement questionable."

Ethan cocks his head sideways as if he's thinking and then nods his head.

"Okay yeah that's a valid point there. But my point of her being a rebound is also valid."

"I'm not disagreeing" I say looking down and dipping my apple slice in my yogurt.

"Speaking of girlfriends…"

I look at Ethan and raise my eyebrow.

"I think Harper needs about 15 years of running wild before she's ready to be anyone's girlfriend."

Ethan bites into a giant cookie and looks contemplative as he nods.

"I get that. I can wait."

"Maybe you should focus some of your attention on another girl, there are a lot of nice girls at this school. Beverly Pendanski bakes really good cookies…you like cookies. Sounds like a good match to me." I gesture towards Ethan's cookie as I speak.

"You sound like my mom right now. Minus trying to sell me on Bev and her cookies. My mom doesn't know her like that." Ethan states, rolling his eyes.

"See! You already have a pet name for her."

"Bev is not a pet name, Ian, that's literally me being lazy and not wanting to say her full name."

"Okay what about Amanda Tyler? She has nice hair."

"So does Harper." Ethan points out.

"Yeah but Harper doesn't want to date you. Or anyone. It's not personal."

"What about if I played a moving 1980's era love ballad for her at the benefit? Picture me on the stage gesturing at her, the lights are all focused on her and BAM she falls in love."

Ethan pretends to strum a guitar as he details his plans.

"That's a terrible idea. Don't do that." I shake my head and laugh.

"So no power ballads?" Ethan asks, sounding disappointed.

"I mean we can definitely do power ballads but I wouldn't direct them at Harper."

"Fair enough." Ethan says, nodding his head.

There a pause of silence as Ethan finishes his cookie.

"So. What is the benefit like?" Ethan asks, breaking the silence as soon as he's done chewing and swallowing.

"Awkward and depressing."

"Because of the suicide thing?"

"That's part of it but mostly it's because my mom gets drunk and tries to be an attention whore, Harper gets drunk and inadvertently draws attention to herself by acting like an ass. Meanwhile, my stepdad is stone cold sober and subtly telling all the drunk people that they need plastic surgery and by the end of the night, someone ends up crying or falling in the pool."

"Oh, this is going to be awesome." Ethan says pumping his fist in the air. "Free drinks!"

"Yeah. That's the part to focus on." I say, nodding my head.