I've always been one of those people who have to win. Won't stop no matter what. I did that with a lot of stuff. Sports; lessons, games… getting thin. They called it Anorexia. But that made it sound real. That made it sound like I couldn't win.

They were right about one thing though; you can't win, that's the most frustrating thing about it. You're either too thin or too fat. Everybody says it about you. It doesn't matter if you can hear it or not; you're still expected to act on it. But you don't realise until people tell you, or says your clothes are' a bit tight' or that 'doesn't really suit you'. That's when you start to feel bad about yourself.

You put weight on really fast. And I mean really fast, as if you can put on a stone if you wanted in a month. And it takes about two or three months at least to lose it healthily. Ah, I bet you're wondering what the unhealthy option was. It was a little secret, little bit of a tip, 'Eating is bad for you. Eating is ugly. Eating makes you fat.' Now, that chocolate bar you had before doesn't feel so good now, does it? All that creamy goodness went straight down to your body and made you fat.

Other people though…they don't understand. They try to make you eat. Tell you they understand. But they don't. They want you to get fat. But it's their fault in the first place. One of them says something about your weight. Your figure. You just want to change it. And when you do they don't like it.

They told me to write. Write about my thoughts and feelings. They said maybe it would help me come to terms with what I was doing to myself. That made me angry. I knew what I was doing to myself. I was getting myself thin. I didn't get the opportunity though because now they force feed me. But then I thought, you know what? Maybe it'd be a good idea. So instead of asking me stupid questions every day they could look in here. So I did it. So reader, there you go. From day one. You happy now?