Sick of crying

Have you ever cried so hard that your eyes go red, and your forehead matches your cheeks, and your chest is heaving with what?

Is it regret? Is it guilt? Is it anger? Anger that they mocked you, anger that she's dead, anger that he told you that he just doesn't care.

Tired of trying

Guilt that you're not good enough, guilt you always do the wrong thing, guilt that when you cry you heart is slowly (oh so slowly) caving in.

Regret that you didn't tell her, how wonderful she was. Regret you said anything, that you couldn't be better. Regret you are crying, and you wish you could stop, but your heart is defying you.

Yeah I'm smiling

The pain is seeping down your cheeks, and it just won't stop. You're calling her all the names, that you could ever think of, but it's all inside your head, and you can't say anything, so you cry (keep crying kid) instead.

And when you walk down the hall, and you can't avoid their eyes, you wish that there was somewhere to run, when they tell you the fact they hurt you is a surprise.

But inside I'm dying...