117Thank you to all my wonderful fans who have supported me and read my story from beginning to finish. This story is dedicated to all of you, for, without you guys, I and my story, would be nothing. A special thanks to those who have reviewed and messaged me and inspired me. I thank those who have encouraged me and loved me for me and seen me for me and not just through my story. I don't want to leave anyone out so those specific people know who they are. From the bottom of my heart, and with all sincerity, I express my utmost gratitude to all of you who have stuck by to the end. I know I am not the easiest person to work with, but I commend all of you who have. There are absolutely no words I could ever say that could ever show you all how much I loved writing this story and loved you for reading. My love and my appreciation goes to all my fans, and everyone who took the time out of their day to make this story what it is today. Even you, the-mean-people-who-hated-but-taught-me, because you showed me different ways to improve my writing and showed myself more. I once again thank each and every individual who has helped me through this journey called The Wild Side and I hope you stick around for all the other parts, too! Wow, that was long, hope I didn't bore any of you. I know these little speeches are annoying and suck, so I'll cut to the chase. No one could ever mean more to me than you guys! I really hope you enjoyed the ride because I enjoyed you!
Because all of you are my darlings, and I practically worship you, I will give you a bunch of extra "stuff" that I hope will satisfy you until the second part comes out. This is to you, all my lovelies! These sections include, but are not limited to:
-Quotes from characters who are in the story (i.e. Blake, Daniel, Melissa, Oliver, Mom, Dad, etc.) because I'm sure some of you are curious as to what goes on in their minds.
-Songs that represent the story in all or some aspects.
-Sneak previews of what is to come in the next part of this series.
-And other quirky stuff I have decided you might like.
So, I hope you enjoy!
Songs:
1.) "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson.
2.) "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson.
3.) "Breaking Your Own Heart" by Kelly Clarkson.
4.) "Maybe" by Kelly Clarkson.
5.) "You Found Me" by Kelly Clarkson.
6.) "Can I Have a Kiss" by Kelly Clarkson.
7.) "If I Can't Have You" by Kelly Clarkson.
8.) "Tell Me a Lie" by Kelly Clarkson.
9.) "Some Hearts" by Carrie Underwood.
10.) "Look At Me" by Carrie Underwood.
11.) "This Time" by Carrie Underwood.
12.) "Twisted" by Carrie Underwood.
13.) "If I Save My Heart For You" by Carrie Underwood.
14.) "Daylight" by Maroon 5.
15.) "I Should Have Kissed You" by One Direction.
16.) "Change My Mind" by One Direction.
17.) "Irresistable" by One Direction.
18.) "Lightweight" by Demi Lovato.
19.) "Unbroken" by Demi Lovato.
20.) "Sunrise" by Rascal Flatts.
21.) "Perfect" (Clean) by Pink. {This song would have been perfect had it not been for the rap...}
...Yeah, I know. I have a weird, wide variety of music. I have different tastes, okay? No need to judge.
Quote:
"Coming out of isolation, she was the last thing I expected to see. I was hoping for something, someone, remotely more good-looking to focus on. As materialistic as it sounded, I had just come out of hiding. I thought that I deserved something that was up to par with me. Someone who was intelligent, beautiful, kind, caring, fashionable. Someone who was pure and took genuine interest in me and where I had come from. A woman that everyone wanted to be and was jealous of. And when I met her for the first time, those were the very last things I thought about. At first, she had seemed like a bitter teenager who just needed some reality check. She was pining for love and attention and acceptance and acknowledgement. It was annoying how much she didn't like me just because I was who I was, because of what I had. I decided I didn't like her either. She was stubborn and rude and sassy. And to add to all those other things, she was a four-eyed, book-loving, everybody detesting, above hideous, nerdy banshee who was detached from the world. I had hated her solely because I had no one else to take my frustration, my fear, my anger out on. I had hated her because as I focused more on her flaws, it distracted me from the underlying attraction, the too-blue of her eyes, the connection we shared. And I had focused on anger, not love, because I was looking for that right woman to come along. But slowly, unbelievably, things changed." -Blake Williams.
Quote:
"All of us sat at the popular table. So? She wasn't on any sports team. Yeah, what about it? She was a nerd, a dork, dweeb, loner, someone who could never be associated with the people on the top rank because of how she looked and acted. Your point? My childhood best friend was always dismissed, always forgotten, always looked down upon. She had a hard life, people, give her a break! Her parents worked nonstop to support her, the house, a lot of other things. They left her alone to a large, empty house; never letting her adventure outside her backyard because they thought it was for the better. It's no wonder her whole life was so horrible and she turned out the way she had. She had nobody! I was a nobody once too! It wasn't like I was born into football. We all were loners. And those people thought they had the right to judge her? What did they get on tests? Lower than ninety? Not with Anastasia. They rarely comprehended anything before they did something stupid. Not Anastasia. They didn't work for anything. Not Anastasia. People didn't understand her. And that was a shame. Pure shame. She was the best. I felt bad for always taking advantage of her." -Daniel Mayfield.
Quote:
"People didn't want to understand others. They stick to what they know because they think it's right. They know it's right. But what people have done to Anastasia over the years, that is wrong. They have neglected her. Excluded her. They made fun of her in so many different ways. It was horrific. Being with Oliver, I understand now. I see things through his eyes. Not four of them, just two. He was also tormented as a kid. He was awkward, serious and lanky and had glasses. He was so skinny, just like Anastasia, that he just looked like a twig with spectacles on. He told me it was because of stress, misery, pressure, among other things. But after reversing the problem, Oliver gained a good amount of weight, his muscles grew as much as he did, and he turned from awkward to admired. Anastasia of all people does deserve that. She deserved to feel and look better. She deserved the best because she was the best." -Melissa Downing.
Sneak Peek:
As I walked, I could see just how beautiful the dark really was. The dew remaining on the roses, looking like glistening diamonds under the reflection of the pale moonlight. It was the fireflies as they fluttered about, leaving glitters of light in their wake. The water sparkled, animals sang, dreams occurred. Stars winked and blinked in the sky, bidding you adieu. The moths flew around, the sound of their wings beating almost as loud as my heart. The world was dark and asleep.
But then, distracting those from the beauty was fear. They had visions, illusions, of what the dark might behold. They heard noises, possibly true, possibly false, but heard them nonetheless because they were afraid. They had nightmares. Dark dreams that the unsettled, distraught part of the brain conjures for whatever the reason.
At least most got to wake up.
I lived, day in and day out, those haunting dreams which kept me up at night, that gave no warmth. There was the shrill ache of loneliness when I glanced over and no one was there to comfort me, to listen to me. And the pain killed. Each night a little part of me died, a piece of my heart breaking. I had no reason to mourn, no reason to fear. I had done both, over and over again. And I was tired. So very tired.
My bones ached from my meandering wanders. My heart was heavy with grief. My brain ladened with sorrow and haunting day dreams. My nights were so cold. My eyes were so thick with sleep, so thick I could now no longer keep them open, and yet, none came when I closed them. My days filled with hollow rooms as large as the crevices in my chest. My world was so bleak. So bleak. The word so close to your name.
The wind curled around me, like a blanket, as your arms did once. The color of the sky was the same as your eyes. But as the soft grey faded into the color of the night, I couldn't stop myself from thinking of yours doing the same.
Tears dripped from my swollen eyes, down my cheeks. I hadn't noticed them until my flesh stung with their presence. I never cried. I might have gotten frustrated sometimes and angry, with lots of other emotions, and felt moisture form, but I never cried. You seemed to know just the right things to do to evoke these emotions I had hid, I had locked up and pushed away. I hadn't even cried at my own grandparents' funerals. Did you know that I had loved them the most? Out of everything in this world, such as my parents, my friends, I had been the closest to them and had loved them the most. And I hadn't mourned their loss. It might have been because I was so young, but I had never cried. Not once.
I didn't understand. I kept telling myself about some certain things that were never involved in my life and then they happen so suddenly, it was funny. My grandparents love me and will never leave me: they die. Things will get better: they don't. Nothing exciting will ever happen: then, I learn about werewolves and you. I won't ever cry again: things happen because of the supernatural that would never happen otherwise and hurt me beyond repair. I would never, ever, ever fall in love: ... then you came along.
I saw the ending of this path. It was a cliff. I wasn't close enough to see how far it went down, or what was at the bottom of it. I heard no water, so there was obviously solid material. I was uncertain as to what I should have done. I was tempted to go over, investigate some, then explore. But another part of me knew, all too well, that if I went over there, I would never return.
I could feel my feet carry me over to the spot where the ground fell, tumbled down to crash once again with solid earth. I looked down from where I was standing. My toes hung off the sides and loose rubble fell. My vision was obscured by tears, again. Not enough to misjudge the distance down. It was far. I couldn't see the bottom, but, somehow, I knew that it wasn't pretty. It was jagged; it was sharp, and rough. There were probably dangerous rocks at the bottom of the cliff, waiting to slice me open.
My body convulsed with more emotion. If I fell, would I see him again? If I dropped, suddenly, out of nowhere, could I possibly be reunited with you, my beloved? If, tragically, I toppled over like the clumsy child I was, would my world be any brighter than the dark abyss it was now? Would I see his smiling face? Would I feel his comforting touch? Would this misery, this pain, grief, would it die away just like he did all those month ago?
I stepped to the edge, and I took a deep breath. The wind pulled at my hair, undoing it, letting it free. It whispered and sang, a beautiful note sounded in my ears. The tears were no more as I looked straight ahead of me. I had nothing to fear. I had nothing to feel. I had not one thing, one thought, that could make this any more painful, meaningful, resentful, than this world of mine already was. Not the sharp ledges, not the large, formidable boulders, not the wind carrying me down. I didn't feel anything, standing on the brink of death itself. Because death had stolen me and emotion had been lost.
I took a deep breath again, and I let go.
Quote:
"I hadn't known her that long. I had met her after the school year had started, after she had made friends, after she had committed herself to everything else. I had come out of nowhere and was greeted with nothing but hospitality from her. She had taken me in, blind, naive, selfless, and shown me what real friendship was. I hadn't had one friend in my old schools, aside from Oliver who was obliged as family to be so. All the other girls had disliked me because of my beauty, because all the other boys had fawned over me, because Oliver hadn't paid any attention to them. Anastasia had been the only true, honest, believable friend I had ever had in my life. I was shy. It was no secret. And Anastasia had used that, taken it, and brought me to a place where I had no problem going over and talking the day away. She had saved me from tormenters all that time ago, and I never thanked her. Not once. And she deserved that because who else would have stood up for me? I dyed my hair all the time to make myself more desirable, to change myself, to escape, when the person who needs it the most is Anastasia. I wish I had seen it before, but I didn't because I was consumed by happiness. I'm not the one who needed someone to lean on and look after me. I didn't need anyone by my side as much as Anastasia did." -Diane Carter.
Songs:
22.) "Stay" by Rihanna.
23.) "Fix A Heart" by Demi Lovato.
24.) "Heart Attack" by Demi Lovato.
25.) "Make You Feel My Love" by Adele.
26.) "Chasing Pavements" by Adele.
27.) "One and Only" by Adele.
28.) "Don't Let Me Stop You" by Kelly Clarkson.
29.) "Already Gone" by Kelly Clarkson.
30.) "Where Is Your Heart" by Kelly Clarkson.
31.) "Too Good Is True" by Rascal Flatts.
Texts:
B: Hello, beautiful.
A: What do you want?
B: Why do you always have to be like that?
A: Like what?
B: That whenever I compliment you, I'm trying to get something from you.
A: ? Well, don't you?
B: No! Not always.
A: So you do want something, then? This time?
B: Um, well, yes.
A: See? Men, they never just want you for you.
B: I mean, no, I don't!
A: But you just said yes. I have proof!
B: I lied.
A: Now you're supposedly lying to me? What is this? What have you become, Blake?
B: *Sigh.* I can never win, can I?
A: Haha, nope, not against me.
Quote:
"I guess instead of being ever observant of all the imperfections that girl had, I focused more on that smile, those straight, white teeth, the gold of her hair, the beauty of her skin. The airhead I had imagined started to melt away into something more desirable, lovely. Her image hadn't changed, but maybe the way I looked at her had. She was suddenly all I'd ever wanted in a woman, aside from being human. She was smart, she was funny, she was athletic, she could keep up with me, she was beautiful even if no one else saw it (that beauty was for my eyes alone, anyway), but most of all, she saw me for who I truly was. I wasn't a monster, a ferocious beast, in her eyes. No, I was just Blake, a boy with a troubled past. I started wanting all my free time occupied by her, longed for more than just a mere smile, desired more than a sweet pat on the back. I craved, I hungered for her entirely. If she wasn't mine, then she couldn't be anyone else's. Ever." -Blake Williams.
Quote:
"It wasn't that I hated my only child. I did not hate that child. I had always, and will always, thank God for the miracle of being able to be a mother. It is the greatest feeling in the world to be able to have children; a true blessing, it is. But as great as it is, it is also dangerous. You are responsible for another life. And if it happens that something is wrong with your child, as in emotionally or personality or maybe the outer physical features such as scars and bruises, etc., then you know that that flaw in your child is your entire fault. And to know that you are the sole reason for your child's suffering, it's truly terrible." -Eliza Bender.
Quote:
"I had always treated my daughter as a princess. Not a spoiled brat that always wanted more, or a deprived child that never got enough, but a moderate person who understood boundaries and respected them. Growing up, I tried to be there as much as possible. Of course, things like work got in the way, considering I was always continents away. There were times where I was but a few states away. I drove home every weekend and treated my little pumpkin to whatever she desired. But when, two years ago, I had to start to work out of the country. I had not realized what an impact that would have on her. To ask her to drop everything, friends, sports, after school activities, other teenage miscellaneous, for me, it definitely sounded selfish. I never wanted to deprive my daughter, my sunshine, of anything." -Jeremy Bender.
Poem:
My heart has never lied.
But it has never spoken the truth, either.
I wanted nothing more than to escape.
From my family.
From my friends.
From this impeccable beating of my heart when looking at him.
I truly had no idea what I was doing until now.
After reflecting on my life, I have now seen my mistakes.
I have always been too gentle, too kind, too soft.
I have never strived for what I have wanted.
I was persuaded by everyone to make others happy.
I was taught to listen, not yearn.
I have always done what others have asked from me.
No matter if I wanted to or not.
Because I was soft like that.
I have always exerted myself into making others smile, making others laugh.
Because I am kind like that.
I have always wanted to make people proud, to have them look at me with praise and not resentment.
Because I am gentle like that.
But what has been missing all along is myself.
In doing all of those things, appeasing all those people, I have lost something very valuable.
Me.
And in doing so, I discovered that life is not just about others.
It is also about you, too.
And I have now experienced a hunger like no other.
A thirst that might never be sated.
I have uncovered him.
One person who does not ask anything from me, but of me.
He wants me.
As in, not the defined character my parents have made.
Not the spirit those friends, as I call them but who have been anything but, have destroyed.
Not humanity, which has tainted me.
But that man, who has looked deep enough within to understand that you cannot mold me into whatever you like.
But I cannot let him have me.
For I am not worthy.
Because I am what I choose to be.
And that person doesn't belong with him.
That person isn't near enough to be considered worthy of him.
So, I am lost.
And I have wandered.
Deep.
Into.
The wild side.
Quote:
"Sometimes I thought about my childhood. It was quite similar to Anastasia's. I was a skinny child. Way too skinny. My mother never gave me vegetables, always the fattiest of substances to make me gain weight. I never used to eat for the sole reason that I might become obese. I was young and foolish like that. Maybe it's the same for Anastasia. Kids always used to tease me about my bones and skin, about my glasses. They used to call me names all the time. In my teen years, though, I gained weight and muscle. I developed into the man I am now. I am not ashamed of my glasses because they make me who I am. I hope Anastasia will look back on everything, and she will start to understand who she is and what distinguishes her from others like her." -Oliver Limbark.
Texts:
A: Hey. Mom just called. She needs some stuff from the grociery store. Can you go for me?
B: Why can't you go?
A: I have homework.
B: Homework...?
A: Yeah. I have to focus on my grades, you know. I don't have that much time to do whatever like some people.
B: Well, then. I guess I'm not going since I have WHATEVER to do.
A: NO! I mean, pshh, I wasn't talking about you...
B: Flattering. Well, you're still going to have to go. I'm afraid I can't.
A: What?
A: Why not?
B: I hsve jist siftrd.
A: Huh? What the heck, Blake?!
B: Sjifed.
B: Shofred.
B: Shifted!
B: Thamls thr lprd... god.
A: Oh, shifted. Lol, okay.
B: ...Lok?
A: Oh, yeah. Forgot you were from Russia. It means "laugh out loud".
B: Ah. Abbetviayons. I haye tjis phonr.
A: Oh my god, just stop typing.
B: ... Olay.
A: Hand lotion?
B: No. I kust misdpeleed it.
A: What?
B: Nrvermond.
Sneak Peak:
A warm breeze wrapped itself around me without a care. The soothing touch of probing fingers on the back of my neck caused a shiver to run down my spine. A sweet whisper that called haunting words rung heavily in my ears. The feeling of warmth covered the surface of my body as the sun's rays shone down from above. Golden specks of heavenly light that glowed down from above washed over my profile. The bare trees were old and looked uncomfortably cold. Leaves crunched underneath my heels, twigs snapped beneath my feet, rocks thumped before my toes. But it was all the start of one snowy wonderland. Winter was arriving.
Another winter I would have to endure alone. Another winter with no warmth, with no love in the atmosphere, with no gifts to exchange, and with nothing to live for. It was going to be another cold night for me, living in a desolate home. The harsh, unforgiving weather would billow outside the window, calling my name in whispers that were too close, too painful, to be true. An onslaught of feelings would run through my body, forcing me to accept a reality which I didn't want to come to terms with.
The gravel crunched under my feet. I walked past iron gates, black and intimidating. I would have been scared in the past, but with no one to hold my hand, with no one next to me to give me comfort, with a path that was as barren as my heart, there was nothing left to lose. There was no longer a soul inside this body. I was living in a world where nothing was meaningful. I survived in a universe where when I looked in the mirror, the reflection I saw was no longer familiar to me. I was in the one place where I didn't want to be... Without him.
I stopped suddenly in front of a gravestone. I looked at it, my heart singing a melancholy symphony. The petals in my fingertips slipped and fell softly, elegantly onto the grass before the headstone. The wind might have been warm that day, but my whole body was a frozen mass. I collapsed to my knees before the writing. I stared at it, my mind fogging, my eyes misting, my body trembling.
Blake M. Williams.
"How could you leave me?" I hated how my voice broke. "How could you just abandon me? Do you have any idea how they treat me now? You thought it was worse before? My friends keep a good distance away from me now, running every chance they get because they're ashamed of what I am and what I have done and what I've become. My father keeps himself occupied with work every second of the day to the point of exhaustion because of grief, because of the knowledge that it was my fault that you died. And my mother." I laughed bitterly. "My mother can't even look me in the eyes anymore. She is so consumed by anger and hatred and anguish everytime she sees me that its a surprise she hasn't discarded of me yet. It's surprising she's even able to have me within sixty feet of her.
"They hate me. Did you know that? Did you know that this would happen? Did you know that because I was stubborn, because I was scared, because of my cowardice, of my not expressing my love to you out loud, that this would happen? Did you plan this? Did you do this on purpose to teach me a lesson? To show me that I should have been with you instead of fearing for our future, our destiny, every other factor that contributed to this outcome? Did you? Was that your intention?
"I hate me! It's bad enough that I know everyone else in my life resents me, now I'm siding with them! I'm pathetic."
I was crying at this point. I was sobbing so hard, bawling so badly, that everything around me was just one big, massive blur.
"Was this your goal? Was your point to weaken me, to drive me to such desperation, that I would finally admit it to you? Because I'm on my hands and knees now, Blake! You have me just where you want me! I love you! I always have! You've always been number one in my heart. You captivated me and enchanted me and held me tight, like an iron fist. My mind has always been consumed by thoughts of you. Never anyone else, just you. My heart has never belonged to anyone but you. My body was only ever yours. I would never give it to anyone else. Never...
"Why? Why did you do this? You promised me that you would never leave me! You promised to always be with me! You lied! You're a liar, Blake! You never loved me, but I love you! Well, I loved you..."
Quote:
"Before I knew it, my life had been swept up by her. My mind was occupied with only thoughts of her. Her first name combined with my last name filtered through my mind on many occassions. A large house right outside the city. A child or two running around the front yard. Everytime she looked at me, I wouldn't even realize a smile was present until she was smiling right back at me. And my heart was always swelling when we spent time together. It expanded and beat so fast when she complimented me, when she praised me, when she was being possessive over me, that I was scared for my health. I hadn't realized it was love until that first kiss. I think that was when I knew for sure, wholeheartedly, absolutely. But things went downhill from there. Fast." -Blake Williams.
Songs:
32.) "Cannonball" by Little Mix.
33.) "Pretend It's OK" by Little Mix.
34.) "See You Again" by Carrie Underwood.
35.) "Good Girl" by Carrie Underwood.
36.) "Who Are You" by Carrie Underwood.
37.) "Yes I Do" by Rascal Flatts.
38.) "E.T." by Katy Perry.
39.) "Blank Page" by Christina Aguilera.
40.) "What About Now" by Daughtry.
Quote:
"I had never thought of myself as selfish. A little rough on the exterior, maybe so. A little hard on my daughter, possibly. Was I neglectful? I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes, that is true. My own parents had died when I was eighteen, and even before so, they never had time to see me. And it wasn't because they were very busy as I am now, but because I was not as big of a priority to them as other matters were. I always came second because I was seen as second. If I brought home a hundred on a test, that was fantastic, but we never hung it up on a refrigerator, I never got any sort of treat. I was given a cold glare, an unfamiliar smile, and a pat on the head. Like I was a dog, a mere pet. They knew how much I hated them, how much I resented them, yet, they continued on that same strange path. They were preparing me for a situation that was similar to my own. Except, I had now become the hated. By both my daughter and myself." -Eliza Bender.
Quote:
"My parents had always been loving. They hadn't been soft, nor had they been hard. They had always made time for me, always got me what I wanted, always made me their number one responsibility. The same goes for my brother and sister. They had been loved and treated like prince and princess, as I have. My parents were overjoyed when they learned of a granddaughter. They were only given boys by my siblings up until Anastasia. They had loved her tenderly, completely, more than Eliza and I ever could combined together. And I envied that relationship, but I had chosen this road which I walk down, and I regret nothing. But when my parents passed away, I was the tiniest bit happy that Anastasia hadn't cried. She was upset, like any ten year old would be, but not a single tear. It made me proud to see my little girl so strong. And that wasn't my parents' doing. No, it was mine and my wife's, but it did scare me. It scared me what might come as a result of that strength." -Jeremy Bender.
Poem:
My world has been dark since birth.
I have been alone since the very first day I entered into this world.
I might have had many people around me.
But I have been nothing but a toy, a pawn, an object to them.
Anastasia.
That is my name.
But the only context in where it has ever been loving, I have now realized, is in only three people's words.
Grandmother.
Grandfather.
Blake...
No one has truly looked at me and seen a person with a heart, a soul, a life.
My grandparents had; Blake had.
My grandparents and Blake have taught me everything I know now.
They have taught me love, life, meaning, understanding.
Yet, I wonder where any of those things are now, that my life has fallen apart with their loss.
My grandparents died when I was a child.
When I was not capable of any of those things.
And I am ashamed to say that in their absence, I have forgotten many of them.
Became frightened by all of them.
But when I met Blake, all those things seemed to click into place and have significance.
I understood what was so wrong in my world with Blake.
I was able to see meaning in everything I did with Blake.
I lived how I have always wanted, how I've dreamed, with Blake.
I have loved, and been loved, I suppose in a way, with Blake.
But with my friends and family, an empty, cold pit settles in my stomach at the very thought of them.
And that proves that Blake and my grandparents have taught me, but they have not taught me well enough.
I am still jaded.
I am still fearful.
And I will always be.
What will become of these things, now that there is no one here to teach them to me?
Will I become like my family?
Will I become like my friends?
Will I become soulless, like them?
I do not want to be like them.
I do not want to be them.
But, I'm afraid, that now that I have lost everything, I am just like them.
Broken.
Cold.
Distant.
Emotionless.
I have become something I swore to be against.
Songs:
41.) "The Trouble With Love Is" by Kelly Clarkson.
42.) "Long Shot" by Kelly Clarkson.
43.) "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson.
44.) "Miss Independent" by Kelly Clarkson.
45.) "I Hate Myself For Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson.
46.) "Addicted" by Kelly Clarkson.
47.) "Get Back In My Life" by Maroon 5.
48.) "Sad" by Maroon 5.
49.) "Give A Little More" by Maroon 5.
50.) "Never Gonna Leave This Bed" by Maroon 5.
51.) "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.
52.) "Give Your Heart A Break" by Demi Lovato.
53.) "Feels Like Tonight" by Daughtry.
54.) "Understand" by Christina Aguilera.
Quote:
"Now, I never meant to discourage her. I never wanted to tell her what to do. But I was afraid that he would juggle her around in his hands, play and toss her around a little bit, and then leave her to face the consequences of the tragic mistake of choosing him. Alone. Like the mistake I had made. It wasn't my place to say anything. It wasn't Melissa's, or Oliver's, or Diane's, for that matter, to get involved. We should have left her to her own devices and let her make her own decisions no matter how drastically they affected her. But we had been selfish, all of us. At first, Anastasia was just a small piece in this large mess of a world with werewolves. She was the daughter of some very powerful people, and we were sworn to protect her, befriend her, to make her trust us. And that was when we started to get personal. A friendship blossomed, grew, turned into something way out of hand. We were never meant to get so close. Yet, we had. And then, in a matter of minutes, our friendship had turned from a strong, invincible bond, to nothing more than mere lies." -Daniel Mayfield.
Quote:
"Maybe we weren't supposed to get as close as we did, but it was bound to happen; inevitable. Those people should have known that! It isn't our fault that this whole relationship was built on a weak foundation that was sooner or later going to crash. They should have seen it coming. We should have seen this coming. We as in Daniel, Diane, Oliver, and me. The four of us knew where we stood, and that wasn't in Anastasia's heart. But once we found ourselves there, it was hard to go back to being nothing. I never wanted her to get played by Blake. But in the end, that was how it was. They hadn't fallen in love. Anastasia didn't even know what love was. So now that he's gone, she can't really be upset over it if there was nothing there to being with. But maybe I had miscalculated. Maybe she had fallen for him. And in that case, I was supposed to be there to protect her! Maybe from Blake, but also from herself. But how do you protect someone who doesn't want to be protected by or near you?" -Melissa Downing.
Quote:
"First, it started with our sudden escalation in arguments. Next, was the fact that I had been found by the very people I have been fleeing from since day one. Then, I am attacked by those same people. Lastly, I was sent to a hospital, cut open, repaired, sewed shut, then placed for recovery. It was nice to see that when I woke up between intervals of sleep, that there was someone there to hold my hand, to tell me and reassure me it was alright. But in the back of my mind, I knew things would only get worse from that moment on. I had to make a decision. It was either letting those monsters find Anastasia and everyone else, or being brave and doing the only thing that I did best. I had to disappear. I hoped that Anastasia knew that I didn't want to leave her, that I loved her, but that I had to do this. It was my job to protect the one that I loved. What I hadn't expected was that I'd bleed out on my journey to the airport. And as she held me that last, final time, I never got the chance to tell her how I felt. And she was crying so hard that whatever she was saying fell to deaf ears. I didn't want to leave her like that, but I was struck by her beauty. God, she was beautiful, even as she cried. I fought with consciousness, but darkness was beckoning so delightfully. And I kissed her one final time before letting go." -Blake Williams.
Sneak Peek:
"You must fold the napkin one more time over itself and then you have a beautiful rose. I hope you remember all I have taught you because one day, no matter how far away, you will be putting these skills into use. No matter how insignificant. Okay, now let us recap. The one on your left is a French Pleat, the one on your right is a crown, the one in front of you is a swan, and-"
"And this is a spoon! Oh, and look, they have these sharp, pointy things that cut through stuff. I think they're called knives."
Agatha frowned at me. "Your hostility is tangible."
"Really? Because I thought you were psychic or something." I glared at her. "Come on, Agatha, I know my parents hired you to babysit me. They want me as far away from society and themselves so that I don't cause any trouble. In reality, they don't care about me. They don't really care if I am formal or well-behaved and if I can fold napkins all pretty like you do, they just need to occupy my time with something. You, unfortunately, are that something."
"Well, I've never, ever had someone talk to me like that! More or less a girl of your stature!"
I scoffed. "Get used to it, sweetie, because I'm not going anywhere. According to my parents, I'm desperately hopeless."
Agatha sighed. "I guess we will stop here for today."
I grinned, happy to get a break from the horrendous sport of folding cloth.
"Instead, we'll learn proper etiquette."
My smile dropped to the floor. I frowned hard at Agatha, glaring almost, groaning in abhorrence of more of this training. I placed my hands over my eyes, banging my head over and over again on the table, hoping it was alleviate the pain and suffering I was experiencing from Agatha's torture. I wasn't sure which I hated more: my parents for doing this to me, or the woman in front of me who was as dull and lifeless as a piece of cardboard.
"Stop it, girl. You will injure yourself." Agatha said, her tone the same bored as it always is.
"Oh, what do you care? It's not like I matter in your life." I replied back viciously. "What does this do for you anyway? This is only for the money, right? That's all people want from me. They want money because everyone on this planet is heartless and only cares for themselves. And you, even you, are driven by greed and the need to prosper in wealth. What do you people get from heisting people like me? Pleasure? Then I'm sorry to say that each and every one of you people are sick. Very, very sick!" I glared at Agatha again, not surprised at all that she hadn't even blinked. I spat at her, "You don't care about anyone but yourself. Like every other filthy person on this planet. Like me..."
I slumped forward in my seat, finally defeated.
I was surprised when Agatha pressed a firm, wrinkled hand to my shoulder, turning me to her. She looked deep into my eyes, staring, unblinkingly. I blinked rapidly, feeling a piece of her prodding around in my mind. I started to push away from her, but she held me firm. Way too strong for a woman as short and old as she. I felt her search through me, manipulating me, bending me to any way that she liked, with some force that was not human whatsoever. Otherworldly. I didn't enjoy any bit of it. With all the force in me, I squeezed shut my eyes and pushed her out. I didn't want her seeing into me, reading me, experiencing me in any way. I was amazed to find that her face had changed slightly. Her eyes narrowed, face wrinkling more. She looked like she wanted to go back in there. Back into my mind.
"Ah." She said.
"What?" I snapped.
"You are still grieving."
I snorted. "Please. I don't need you or anyone else to tell me that."
She stared at me. Then, a small smile split across her ancient face. "Fascinating."
"What?" I snapped a second time in a row, frightened by that smile.
"You."
"Me?"
"Yes, you."
I stared at her. Then, as rude as I could be, I said, "You are some crazy, old prune, you know that? A real nut job."
Her smile grew. "You mean no real malice, yet, your words come across as harsh and mean. Your defiance is just an act. It is how you cope. It is how you get by the day without feeling anything. The only reason you act out like you do is because all emotion has been cut off from your heart." She grabbed my hand, unnerving me. I tried to swipe it back, but she held fast. "Anastasia, I too lost my husband at a young age-"
"I'm not a widow," I spat.
"-But I found love once again. In the same man, Anastasia. I found that even though he was gone, I still loved the same person. And he didn't leave me. He was still with me, Anastasia. After realizing this, I moved on. I got married again, because I knew that he was never truly gone. Bla-"
"Don't!" I yelled. "Don't say his name," I hissed.
She frowned. She read me again, and I very firmly threatened to expunge of every remaining wrinkly presence of her in my mind if she dared to cross into it again. "That man is not gone, Anastasia. He still lives. He lives in you, in every memory the two of you made, in every room that held his energy, in every dream you see, everything."
I remained obstinate in believing anything she was saying. "I'm sorry, Agatha, but that man is dead. He has been for many month and he still will be for many years to come. He doesn't live in me because he was never in me. He doesn't dwell in my memories because I don't remember any of them. The rooms he once inhabited are cold now, his warmth extinguished. My dreams... I don't dream. I have nightmares, but that's all. You see, Agatha, he is dead. I am dead."
She looked at me in surprise. And then with something that made me hate this miserable world more than I already did. She looked at me with pity. She looked at me like I had just lost everything I had ever lived for. She was staring at me like my world was now a complete and utter black hole, consumed by darkness. She was looking at me with an emotion that spoke about understanding, about familiarity.
And what I hated the most was that last look. That look which showed me that she knew what I was going through.
"Don't look at me like that," I spoke coldly. "Don't look at me like you have a clue about what I'm going through. Because you, like everyone else in this pathetic excuse of a world, have no idea what kind of struggle each day is for me. No one cares about anything else but themselves. All you people care about is the fortune, about yourselves. If anyone else cared about him the way I did..." I trailed off.
I stood up and walked out of the room on my own.
Texts:
A: Hey, sorry I missed your call. I was busy.
D: No prob. I was just calling to say that you are invited to the pre-graduation party today.
A: Cool. Where is it?
D: At my house.
A: That's great, who else is coming? What time does it start and end?
D: Not a lot of people. Just the close ones. It's at seven, ends at ten.
A: That's wonderful. Can Blake come too?
D: ...
A: Come on, Daniel! I know you and Blake have been getting along really well lately.
D: :p
A: Don't complain! I know you and Blake love each other!
D: No, we don't.
A: Yes, you do. Both of you.
D: Can't you just leave him at home?
A: He isn't my pet, Daniel. I can't just find him a babysitter and go out to do what I like.
D: Why not?
A: Let me rephrase that: I will not find a babysitter to watch him.
D: He is a party pooper, Anastasia.
A: No, he is not. You are just being spiteful so that he won't have to come.
D: Is it working?
A: No. And stop acting so hopeful, you're seeming desperate. ;D
D: You really suck.
A: Fine, I'm not coming.
D: FINE! FINE, THE BIG BAD WOLF CAN COME! BUT IF THE HOUSE GOES FLYING I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO HAVE HIM ARRESTED!
A: Okay, Dan, whatever you say.
Songs:
55.) "Never Been Hurt" by Demi Lovato.
56.) "I Hate You, Don't Leave Me" Demi Lovato.
57.) "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence.
58.) "Anything For You" by Evanescence.
59.) "Before the Dawn" by Evanescence.
60.) "The Sun Will Rise" by Kelly Clarkson.
61.) "Standing In Front Of You" by Kelly Clarkson.
62.) "Nothing Lasts Forever" by Maroon 5.
63.) "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5.
64.) "Fallen For You" by Colbie Caillat.
65.) "My Love Is Like A Star" by Demi Lovato.
Quote:
"Daniel and Melissa were definitely out of line. They had no right to command Anastasia to stop loving Blake. It was never supposed to turn out the way it had. Slowly, surely, the girl I had first met so long ago (meek, confused, lost) had formed into this person who was the exact opposite (strong, omniscient, found). I thought I had found someone who I could relate with, but in reality, I had just discovered another dead body. A face, a name, but no life. Daniel, Melissa, Diane, and I had killed another person. Friendship is not the right word to describe us with. We had barely known each other, barely talked, barely looked deeper than what the naked eye enhanced with supernatural powers had let us. Maybe, somewhere deep under her exterior, Anastasia was a totally different person than who we thought she was. Melissa and Daniel had made assumptions based on an attachment. They had let her in, and therefore, been charmed by her bubbly, human personality. I didn't know Anastasia, so I didn't really have much care for her. But I have been studying her male counterpart for many years. Blake was my best friend, more than a brother. And there was definitely love for Anastasia in Blake's eyes. And that was dangerous. Because if we hadn't tamed his mad beast, no one would have. We just got lucky with death. But he was my friend, and every time I looked at Anastasia, I saw evil on her face because I blamed her for it. And Blake wasn't the only dangerous one." -Oliver Limbark.
Quote:
"I love Daniel with all my heart, and Melissa is my one and only best friend, but Blake was my brother. I had watched over him for all my life, played with him, laughed and joked, and did everything with him. It was right to want to protect him from that human girl. I might be shy and small and altogether useless, but if there is one thing that I know how to do it is fight! We were supposed to gain the human's trust, they said. We were supposed to look after the human, they said. We must befriend the human, they said. I did and now Blake is dead! She killed him! I can never forgive her. I thought that I could trust Anastasia. I really did. But now I understand that Anastasia is just another obstacle to jump over in order to achieve happiness. I thought we could be friends, I wanted to be friends, but there is no room for murderers in my heart. I do love Daniel, and Melissa is one of my best friends, but the human girl has to go. It was either me or her." -Diane Carter.
Poem:
My love, oh, my love.
Where have you gone to, my love?
Have you not realized that my world is so bleak, so lifeless, so nothing, without you?
My love, oh, my love.
Why have you left me, my love?
Have I not expressed my love to you through touch, sight, scent, taste, sound?
My love, oh, my love.
What have I done to cause you to leave, my love?
Did I upset you by rejecting every notion of our relationship in order to save both of us?
My love, oh, my love.
When did you ever come up with the thought to leave me, my love?
Was it when I was distracted, occupied, with stress and my ever changing life, that you snuck away?
My love, oh, my love.
Who ever told you that leaving would solve everything?
Was it an outside force telling you, was it yourself, was it something greater than what man-kind, that I, could comprehend?
My love, oh, my love.
How could you leave me?
How could you possibly think that leaving me, abandoning me, would ever solve any of our problems?
Whoever told you this is wrong, iniquitous, for they have stolen you from me.
When you left, it tore my heart right in two.
What you did is unable to be reversed, like my hatred for you at the moment.
Why would you risk everything just to gain nothing in return and lose me in the process?
Where have you gone to, so far away, out of my reach?
My love, oh, my love.
Never doubt one thing after I've said all of these horrible things.
Love, oh, love.
It is the one thing I hold on to.
Texts:
A: Hey, Mom.
E: H, Dar ing.
A: Mom?
E: Ugh! St pid pho ne!
A: Mom, what's going on? Is everything alright?
E: Ye ah, uh, ho w do y ou us e th is thin g?
A: Mom, are you holding a button down or something. Just text.
E: Okay. Smiley.
A: Did you just send me "smiley"?
E: Yes, why? Isn't that what you send to each other? Smiley faces?
A: Oh my god, Mom! That is this: :)
E: Oh...
A: Yeah.
E: Right, so what do you need?
A: I need you to come home and check on Blake.
E: Ok ay.
E: Jee z.
A: Mom, you can't hold any buttons down!
E: Rig ht.
A: Lord have mercy.
Quote:
"I couldn't believe my ears when Anastasia told me that she had been the true reason Blake had left us. In the beginning, the first emotion to enter my body was anger. Pure, undiluted anger that poured through every seam of my body. Blake had been my first born. I had raised that child myself. I had loved Blake as if he had been my own. How dare a girl, a foolish, human girl destroy a light that guided me through this world. The second emotion I felt was vengeance. I felt the need to avenge my son's death, to rid of an ignorant adolescent who knew no bounds, who had no limit to her destruction, who could not do anything right. I wanted revenge. The third and last emotion I felt was sorrow, grievance. Here I was, talking about my own daughter as if she had been a murderer, a savage beast who knew only about shedding blood. The shame as a mother who had failed her child had never been so strong. And I had suffered long for my feelings. Because I was no longer mourning one child of mine who I had lost. I was now experiencing the loss of two children. Over the last few months, I lost my baby girl. My only child." -Eliza Bender.
Quote:
"Imagine the shock of a father to figure out that your own flesh and blood had been the reason that a second child you could have loved is now dead. I loved my daughter more than anything, but the only thing roiling my blood was utter rage. Blake was too much like a son to lose. It was suffocating to acquire that knowledge. A deep, strangling, unsettling feeling settled in my stomach every time I looked at her. She looked like us. She looked like Eliza and me, but there was something in those deep, blue eyes that spoke of hidden, solitary secrets we knew nothing about. A clever wit, a quick mind, a big heart, and a vague relationship. That was all I knew about my own child, yet, I knew too much about a man that wasn't even bound to me by blood. It was ridiculous, and my own parents would hate me for it. I often wonder, now, whether there can ever be a close, intimate relationship between my daughter and me. As a parent, I wish there was. But as a different parent, a parent of another, I hoped there wasn't." -Jeremy Bender.
Sneak Peek:
"I hate wearing these heels! Get them away from me! Now!"
Many of the maids flinched under my harsh tone. I was literally giving each and every one of them an individual death stare. Many would either not meet my gaze or take respective steps back and away from me. I didn't blame them either. The way they looked at me was with fear because I acted like a monster around them. Obviously, I would never harm them, most of the maids could just walk away from me, exasperated, and I wouldn't even give much of a fight to keep arguing with them, but none ever did.
So I was the monster.
"Please, Anastasia, the maids are just doing their job. Leave them be." My mother sounded so tired.
"Yeah, but they're like, what? Maybe six inches tall?" I growled at my feet. A feeble, meek servant shrunk away from me, shaking like a leaf in the wind. I softened my expression, my tone. "I'm very sorry. This is tremendously painful because I'm not even used to wearing these death shoes." I winced as I took a step forward. "It's like having blisters on your feet and then having red fire ants bite you over and over again."
"I'm sorry you feel that way, Anastasia. But you have to get fitted for the wedding. I am not letting you walk around in a beautiful dress with sneakers on. It isn't very-"
"Proper. A lady is to dress elegantly and formally on such an occasion. Wearing sneakers to such an event would be a disgrace to the whole family, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I know, Mom." I looked at myself in the mirror, at the elaborate dress, and the killer heels I was sporting at the moment. "But no one would even see it under my dress. And what if they were white to match?"
My mom frowned at me as the maids laughed, sounding all cute and twinkly.
"The maids agree!" I said.
"You are not wearing sneakers to a wedding, and that is final!" Mom shouted.
"Even to my own wedding, Mother?"
"Not while I'm alive."
"That's simple. All we need is a little gothic make-up to accompany my ensemble and that should do it. Not to mention flip-flops! I might even have to cut the hem of the dress short. I've got some legs, you know, being an athlete and all."
The maids giggled even harder than before.
"Yes, that would surely give us all a heart attack."
"You and every elderly person in the audience."
"Are you calling me old?"
"And if I was?" She only sighed at me. I smiled at the lack of an insult, glad that my mother was actually without a comment for once. "That's what I thought."
"Anastasia, in those heels, now." She commanded me with a dark expression. "Because if you don't get into those shoes right this second, I will personally pick you up, since you aren't very heavy at all, and place you in those shoes accompanied by whatever comes with them. Such as screaming and kicking and shouting and hitting and all the other childish things you enjoy doing." She glanced at the clock. "You have thirty seconds to do as I say, or I will follow through with my threat."
The maids looked at me expectantly.
I sighed. "Fine. Whatever." I threw my hands up as I stepped into the shoes. Mom, satisfied, left the room.
The maids all had disappointed frowns on their faces. "Aww!"
I grinned broadly at all of them. "Don't worry, my lovelies, I assure you that next time I will give a better show!"
"Some would think you're already married. The maids all seem to adore you."
I froze at that voice. That voice which sent chills down my spine. That voice which with one syllable, with one word, one sentence, one noise, could make my entire body betray me into falling for his dreaminess. That voice which wrapped around me and dripped into my ear like sweet, luxurious honey. That voice which drifted through the air and glided just to tease me, to provoke me, to persuade me into doing something that I knew I should not. That voice which I used to love. That voice... oh, that voice which I used to believe to be my everything. That voice which now left me cold, angry, and empty.
The maids all sighed. Some were leaning against each other, flushed and all love-struck. Some had hands pressed against their chests, over their hearts, a fan waving in their hands, blowing cool air into their faces. They all had that same mesmerized expression as they gazed at this feral man who I didn't know, but did all the same. It made me angry to think that in only a couple of days, he was stealing everything away from me. It felt so familiar.
"Just go away. You're making my maids swoon." I snarled, barely suppressing my anger.
He laughed, those eyes meeting mine. Those dark eyes passed into my soul, reaching deep inside of me. I was thrown back into this world where I could be thought as an easily manipulated child. But I was much too guarded to fall into the same trap twice. It was too bad for this man that I already learned my lesson with another. I knew all the tricks of the trade, I didn't need myself falling into another man. I didn't need him. I needed no one.
"I can't just leave without giving these fine ladies some credit. They did some nice work on you." He winked at the females who giggled erratically. I looked at them, aghast. "It must take a lot of time and effort to fix you up like this. And strength joined by patience if what I heard was true."
I snapped viciously, "You don't know anything about me! You don't know me!"
"Oh, but I do. More than you think."
"Who do you think you are coming in here and disturbing me?" I stepped down from my pedestal and stood toe-to-toe with this handsome stranger. I flared up brightly in anger when I saw amusement in his eyes, a smile at his lips. "I am not a force to reckon with, if you trust me on anything, it's that. You can ask anyone, I'm not merciful if you get in my way."
"I'm pretty sure I can handle whatever it is you are willing to dish out." He elaborated in a mocking voice, "What, will you chew me up, grind me around, and spit me out? Tear me into a million pieces? Oh, oh, how about destroy me and rip me apart by the very tiniest parts of my structure? Split me molecule by molecule?"
"Oh, like you did to me?"
I saw genuine trouble flash in his eyes. It surprised me for a second until his eyes glazed over into a hard glare. "What happened to you is to never be spoken about again. I couldn't control that. It wasn't my fault. So I don't know why we are still angry about that. We had a deal. You promised to not bring up that fake person and I promised to try my best with you."
I sighed, ruffled. "Whatever, just leave me alone. We need to finish. Leave like you did all those months ago. Just do what you do best. Disappear."
And I didn't have to turn around to know that he did.
Okay, people, I hope you enjoyed all of that. It took me a really long time to write, so you better have. Now, if you have any questions, or comments, or anything, then message me because I will be more than happy to answer back to you! Really, I have nothing better to do.
As for the second book, it is called Dancing With Wolves and is much darker and more serious than this one with a little less romance, but do not fret, my pretties, because there still is romance! It shall never die! But, it's just not in the very beginning of the story. For all of you who like mythology, and stuff along historical lines, this is one you'll enjoy for sure.
I am not going to start on the second book immediately. Sorry! I have other projects I need to focus on! Again, I'm really sorry, but I promise I'll try my hardest to finish those and start on the next chapter in Anastasia's life.
Again, don't hesitate to message me if you have any questions or concerns! I really, really, really hope you liked my story! Stick around for the next four!
Oh, and people, if you go back and read this story ever again, some things might have changed and some things no longer exist, and some chapters might be longer than they seemed before. That's okay because when I first wrote this story, it was going in a different direction than it is going in now. Also because some of these things elude to what happens in the second book and I can have none of that. I'm sorry to those of you who are affected by this. I truly am. But I just had to change it.
I love you, guys! Thank you so much for everything! This is all for you.