Chapter 24:

The darkness did not fade for a long time and then all at once I was amerced in a pool of light. The relief was indescribable. I could see my hands, my feet, my arms...at last. It was peculiar, I was somewhere where my feet didn't touch the ground, somewhere without walls. Then all at once, I thought I saw Henry. He walked towards me, in a suit. It was black and he wore no tie. Instead, three of his shirt buttons were undone, revealing a small patch of chest hair.

"I knew you would come." He said softly.

"You look thirty again." I said, laughing.

I felt sure I was hallucinating for Henry was no longer alive and, therefore, could not be standing before me. Either that or my dreams had begun again. In which case I needed to somehow wake up. I couldn't bare to lose Henry for a second time.

"You think I look better?"

"You're like the man I met all those years ago."

It was unbelievable. Just as age had taken it's toll on Henry in life, his youth had been restored. There were no grey hairs, no lines on his face and no extra weight. He was slim and handsome, and for a second I almost believed I was standing in front of Johnny Depp. There had always been a resemblance, except that Henry was slightly more rugged looking. The thing is that none of it mattered. Henry could never look ugly to me, even if his face was scarred or his hair was white, it would never change the way I perceived him. I was most effected by seeing him again, young or old, I was happy to see him.

"Do you know where you are?" He asked.

"Not entirely."

"You've been given an opportunity to decide."

"Decide what?"

"To decide whether or not to live."

It was peculiar, I felt almost instinctively as though my heart would stop but it didn't. I couldn't feel my heart at all, not even when I pressed my palm hard against my chest. I decided then that the only reasonable explanation to this was that I was dreaming again, brought on by some form of trauma.

"Henry, I've got to go, I shouldn't be here."

I turned around frantically but where ever I went, the room or space around me followed. There was no escape. I cried out and began to scream, hoping some how it might make me conscious to the real world.

"There's no use in screaming Eliza. You'll just have to trust me."

I stared at him for a moment. The panic was in my head but my body had no reaction. I could not feel the blood in my veins nor the erratic beating of my heart.

"Henry? Explain." I said firmly.

"You've had an accident. It's your decision whether or not to go back down to earth or stay here...with me and well, others."

"Accident? You mean the motorbike? Is Dave ok?"

"He's alive. The helmet protected him but you're in a coma."

"Oh thank heavens for that!" I considered. "Well, the Dave part. The coma's not so good."

"So you've got all of five minutes to decide your fate, no pressure." He laughed.

I was astounded. I could hardly believe what was going on. The decision would be the hardest part. How could I possibly decide between Dave and Henry? They both completed me in different ways, like two jigsaw pieces that fit the same space. But then I suppose out of the two pieces, one was always the piece that fits the best and was originally intended for the purpose.

I took both Henry's hands in mine and felt an instant warmth and though my heart made no sound, my mind reeled.

"Henry. You'll always hold a place in my heart and I can honestly say that I still love you and always will..."

He smiled in response.

"But I think life was a warning sign. It was there to show me that we could never be together."

"But here there are no rules."

"Henry. If you had truly loved me, you would have spent the whole of your life telling people it, despite how much you tried not to, or if they disapproved. But you couldn't even say it to me. So, I am afraid, that even here, I'm not worthy of you. I want to live. I want to see Dave again and I want to be loved back."

"So even now? Even here, you want him?"

"Yes. I love him and he loves me. A simple equation that works."

"You think I can't love you?"

"No. And even if you could, I've already spent too long waiting. I wish you had loved me."

"I am capable of falling in love. It's not that impossible, I'm incapable..."

"I know Henry, I know. But your heart was never mine. It was your wife's. I cried for you, I preyed every night that you would be happy, and I swear to God I didn't want for you to love me. It would have only made the issue worse. Knowing you didn't love me and knowing we could never be together because of people's opinions, I decided not to think of you. I was just a robot that walked the earth, that was until Dave came along. He brought me alive and for once I felt I had the chance to love again. But I never forgot you, and I never will."

"You hold a very strong position in my heart. Not as a lover, a friend, or of any relationship with a name. I am just simply glad I met you. You're a curious character, and I will never forget that Eliza."

I laughed for a moment. When considering the situation and reviewing it, I came to the conclusion that this had happened far too frequently. Every time I had said a last goodbye to Henry, he had returned to my life almost instantly. And yet, all those years ago, after the coma, Henry had left my life in ruins and never returned. He only returned when he wanted something temporary from me, and I hated that. For this reason I knew that the complexity of this relationship would never cease. I would never find a reason as to why I was so attached to this man, nor would I find a solution. I assumed that it was my duty to return to life and be with the man I could live a full life with. Dave was the piece of the puzzle I needed most. Henry's was never placed in the right position.

In that instant, just as I had made my decision, the light that had pervaded the room, now dominated it. My eyes ached and I held my right forearm in front of my eyes, staring up in the direction it came from. A deep, manly voice echoed about the room.

"You must learn the truth before you return." Said the voice.

Suddenly my heart began to beat hard and I was surprised to be reunited with the feeling. The light dimmed, back to the original that I could tolerate, though it was still as bright as the hottest summer's day. Henry stood before me in Victorian styled clothing; Black high waisted trousers, a white shirt, red silk waistcoat and black suit jacket. He looked handsome, even with the ridiculously over-sized bow at his neck. His long, dark hair sitting perfectly on his shoulders.

"You recall the letter I sent you, of my Great Grandfather and his maid, the girl he got pregnant. Well it turns out you and I were reincarnated." Said Henry.

I was astonished to hear such a thing and I could hardly believe it. Was Henry trying to tell me that we were two dead people?

"It turns out my Great Grandfather intended to marry this girl but she was murdered. It was assumed the crime was done by his mother, to prevent the shame. But the girl had already had the child when she died. The child, my Grandfather, lived. My Great Grandfather heard of his maid's death and died a few days later. It was said he died of a broken heart and their souls came alive in us but obviously we were unaware because we were in new bodies, and new minds."

"Blimey Henry. You expect me to believe this..."

He approached me and placed his soft palm on my cheek. Instantly an array of images came forward, as though I were dreaming and when he removed his hand, the dreams were installed in my mind as memories.

The memories were pleasant and made me want to weep. An image of Henry and I staring at one and other from a distance, meeting in secret dark corners and embracing one and other passionately. Instantly I was a new person. I was Elizabeth the maid, in love with the master of the house.

"You and I can be together and Dave can have a part of you too." He announced, proudly.

"How?"

"You were a soul that lived in another's body. The soul that belongs to the Elizabeth down there, in a coma, was mixed up with yours. That soul will return, wake up to Dave but have no memory of him because it is new to the body. This soul, your soul will only remember the life of the Victorian maid, Elizabeth and be in love with my soul. But the soul that belongs to the Henry down there is lost because my body is dead. It's complicated stuff."

"You're saying that the intended soul for my body was not able to go into it properly because I, a Victorian maid had leapt into it first and the same with you and that Great Grandfather of yours?"

"Essentially yes, we're two souls that dared to step into a body of a person, just so we might have the chance to meet again."

"That's so complicated. How is it that I can live with you and Dave?"

"Well in a moment, you won't know Dave because you'll be Elizabeth the maid. The soul going into your body, the body destroyed by the bike accident, will be the soul of the modern Elizabeth. Hopefully she'll create a relationship with Dave and they'll be together."

"Hopefully?"

"Well she'll never remember him because technically the modern Elizabeth hasn't met him. You met him, but she didn't. And your memory of that life will fade because you were not meant to be her."

"Henry this is a lot to take in. But I think I understand now. I know now why I was so attached to both you and Dave because there were two sides of me fighting for control. The part of me that loved you was the maid, that had your child...the part that loved Dave was the soul intended for the body of Elizabeth."

"Yes. And as for me? I loved Lorraine in that life down there, when I was alive on earth, but up here I am two different souls. The soul that belongs to Lorraine is up here too. But I am the Henry that fell in love with my maid, and died of a broken heart. There were two sides to us but now, up here we can finally make peace. You and I shall be here together, whilst Dave has you and your bodies intended soul when she wakes from her coma, and Lorraine is left to morn her Husband, who is now up here with us."

"Reincarnation is complex. Why didn't we just stay here? Rather than messing up too innocent people's lives."

"...I can't say I know the answer to that but I assume we were two lost souls searching for each other."

A moment or a life times consideration could never truly reveal what reality held. In just a moment I had become a new person, the person I had repressed and hidden inside me. The freedom to love was no gift, it was what I had sought because the conventions of society had kept me and Henry apart. But this magical moment was somehow destroyed by my conscience. I had learnt to love again, and I loved Dave, my heart was no longer Henry's. All that I knew was I had spent so long wanted Henry, I had given up. I wanted Dave.

"I can't do this Henry. I am not ready for this. This is wrong"

"Sorry?" He said.

"I don't know. I have lost the admiration, the passion, everything. I have no hope for us any more. I ruined my life waiting for you and now, I have a chance to have it all...with Dave but here I am again, with you...another chance? Or another go at something you don't want?"

He looked at me, passion in his eyes. My heart raced and I loved him again, for just an instant.

"You're afraid to trust me...Afraid to let go and let me help you, but this is it...our whole lives, both of our lives we've been trying to make it work...now we can."

"No Henry. I need to let go of you...I can't believe it and I won't. You never for one instant loved me..."

"Love isn't meant to make sense."

The tears raged, burning my eyes, trying to seep out. I looked up at Henry and stepped forward, embracing him.

"I will always love you. But you are not the one for me. We don't belong together." I said, trying to convince myself as much as him. "No one wants this. No one wants to see us together, no one approves. They know it's wrong and so do we."

I felt Henry ease his hand on my head, and slowly push his fingers through my hair. It was one of those rare moments in life where we could hold each other and not worry that we were being watched.

"I love you, Eliza." He whispered.

My heart raced. Henry had finally said it, after all this time he had told me how he felt. I looked up at him, staring deep into his blue eyes. For a moment I thought I was dreaming...well, I might have been. It was more likely that I was then wasn't.

"I have been waiting my whole life to hear that."

"I've been waiting my whole life to work it out..." He laughed, nervously.

I smiled, an endless smile and for a moment I thought I would cry. There were so many people suffering in the world, and all that I had suffered was a broken heart (which in contrast was really not a big deal) but it felt like, in this moment, like I had been brought back to life after being so close to death.

"I hate you, I love you, I want you..." I said, as the tears flooded out of my eyes.

"Me too." He said, with a laugh.

He took my face in both his palms and forced my face to his, kissing me passionately. I felt at last that my life was complete and I knew what I had been waiting for. I had been waiting for this moment. It was a beautiful end for a girl who had, until now, invented her dreams. I was no longer a dream maker.