2

June 30

St. Simons Island, Georgia

Waves tumbled over the rocks outside her window and scattered the murky images of Lily's dream. She tried to cling to them, to coax them to return. But a shrill screech severed the connection for good. She cracked her eyelids open and made out a mocking bird on the porch rail.

"Shut up." She closed her eyes, but her dream had already slipped out of focus. And just like that, Jackson was gone again, leaving the dull ache in her chest that never waned completely.

The bird outside her window shrieked again. It was worse than an alarm clock. At least that had a snooze button. She rolled over and checked the clock on the nightstand. Not even eight. She'd have to kill the bird.

She caught the smell of pancakes, and her mood lifted a bit. Her dad was making breakfast. Maybe she could spend some time with him before everyone else got up.

She rolled out of bed and took a quick glance in the mirror over the dresser. It wasn't a pretty picture, but morning really wasn't her thing anyway. Half of her hair had fallen out of its ponytail, and her bloodshot eyes ached for sleep. If it had been someone else, she'd swear they had a bad hangover.

She slid her feet into her slippers and headed across the beach house. The floorboards creaked, and a light dusting of sand covered the floor, but the furniture was clean and comfortable, and the rhythm of the ocean on the rocks below had finally soothed her to sleep in the early morning hours.

She could hear her dad humming his favorite hymn as she reached the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway and watched as he poured batter onto the griddle. His large frame filled most of the tiny kitchen, much like the one where they'd lived when she was little. The details of that house had faded long ago, but she remembered the pale yellow walls, the clock shaped like a hen, the small round table near the window.

On cold winter mornings, she'd sneak up on her dad before the sun rose, climb in his lap and listen to his voice echo deep in his chest as he read his Bible. Then they'd make pancakes for her mom, completely wrecking the kitchen in the process. She couldn't really remember whether her mom had cared for the pancakes or the mess, but Lily had loved those mornings with her dad. She wished she could do that now, just climb in his lap and pour out her fears as he hugged them away. But that was a long time ago, and a lot more had changed besides the kitchen.

"I thought you might be up a little early this morning." He glanced at her sideways then flipped a pancake over.

"How did you know?" she asked.

He put down the spatula and leaned back against the counter, folding his arms over his chest.

"I can still tell when something's bothering you. You haven't been yourself since you got home from school. I thought you might perk up on the way down here, that maybe you'd be excited to go somewhere new this year. But maybe I was wrong."

"I'm sorry." She couldn't hold his gaze. "I am glad to be here. It's just…"

He paused before scooping several pancakes onto a plate. Then he poured more batter onto the griddle. "You know, you can talk to me, Lily. Maybe I can help."

He studied her like she was one of the many floor plans that littered his office, ready to find and solve any problem. She almost believed he could. But the words just wouldn't come, and he finally let out a sigh.

"You hungry?" he asked.

She shook her head, and he frowned. She knew what he was thinking. She could almost recite the lecture brewing in his mind. Lily, you're getting too thin… But thankfully, he thought better of it and turned back to the pancakes.

She reached for a wooden chair at the breakfast table just inside the doorway. It scraped the tiled floor as she dragged it across, and she cringed. The last thing she wanted was to wake anyone else. She sat down and pulled her knees up to her chin.

"Not sleeping again?" He scooped the last batch of pancakes onto a plate.

"Not really."

He sat down across from her, eying her with the unspoken lecture still dying to get out. He closed his tattered Bible and set it aside, making room for his plate. Then he bowed his head and mouthed a silent prayer. When he finished, he stabbed at a pancake with a little too much force, and it slipped off the end of his fork.

"Did something happen?" he asked.

She chewed on her fingernail and fidgeted with the lonely plastic sunflower in the vase on the table. He finally got a bite in his mouth.

"I saw him," she said.

He furrowed his brow for only a moment before his face softened. The pity in his eyes almost undid her, and she had to look away. Outside the kitchen window, she watched the drooping Spanish moss waving in the breeze, whispering encouragement, telling her to go on. He dropped his fork and leaned back in his chair.

"Where did you see him?"

"At a bookstore in Birmingham a couple of days before we left. I was looking for some reading to bring with me and he just appeared out of nowhere."

"What did you do?"

"Nothing. I couldn't think of anything to say."

"How about hello?"

He cracked a grin, but she sighed and looked away.

"It doesn't matter anyway. He didn't even see me. He was standing in the aisle holding a book, and I just turned and walked away before he looked up."

She hugged her knees tighter. He pushed his plate aside and leaned forward, lacing his fingers on the table.

"I thought things were getting better."

"I thought so too."

"Lily, you've got to find a way to put Jackson behind you. I know it's hard. I know he meant a lot to you, but it's been three months."

"I know how long it's been." She darted a glance at him. "I know I have to move on. I just can't seem to figure that part out. I thought I was doing okay, but then wham, I'm right back where I was three months ago."

"It's always tough when you have a setback," he said. "Sometimes moving on with your life is painful, but you have to do it for your own good."

It figured he'd say that. Lord knows she wouldn't want to do anything for someone else's good. Moving on had been easy for him. He'd gotten a brand new family, complete with a beautiful wife and a perfect daughter to replace her.

"Good morning!"

As if on cue, her step-sister Kara bounded into the kitchen, blond waves bouncing in time with her steps. Either she had slept all night and maintained her perfect hair and make-up, or she'd gotten up at the crack of dawn. Both options were appalling. She flashed a bright smile, but it faded when she stopped in front of the breakfast sitting on the counter. She wrinkled her nose and pressed her lips into a pout as she turned toward them.

"I thought you were making bacon and eggs this morning."

Her dad pushed away from the table and carried his plate over to the sink.

"I changed my mind. We'll have that tomorrow."

She crossed her arms and sighed, raising her eyes up to his.

"Oh, don't look at me like that," he continued. "That quit working by the time you were out of pigtails."

She shrugged. "Had to try."

She placed a pancake on her plate and took the seat he'd vacated as she chirped hello. Lily offered a grunt in her general direction, hoping she would exit as quickly as she'd appeared.

"I see you're as cheerful as ever," Kara said.

"I'd hate to disappoint."

Kara raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow as she took her first bite. She continued to stare at Lily until she was done chewing.

"So? What are we talking about? You two looked deep in conversation."

"Nothing."

"Lily's a little blue," her dad said, leaning back against the counter as he sipped his coffee.

Kara covered her mouth and laughed. "That's the understatement of the year. She's practically a Smurf."

"Hey now-" he scolded.

"Forget it," Lily said.

Kara swallowed and shook her head. "Oh please. Like I need three guesses to figure out what—or should I say who?—you were talking about." She leaned forward and pointed her fork at Lily. "Let me give you a little piece of advice. Jackson is old news, and frankly, you're starting to move from sympathetic to pa-thetic. If you ask me, it's way past time to move on and get your line back in the water."

"Excuse me? What are you talking about?"

"You know. The whole other-fish-in-the-sea thing." Lily just stared, and Kara finally rolled her eyes. "Oh come on. You're the one who's all into fishing. I was just trying to speak in terms you'd understand."

"Maybe you should try speaking in terms you understand."

"Maybe you should try getting over yourself for five minutes. We're vacationing on a beautiful island for a whole week. Please don't tell me you're going to ruin it for everyone by moping around here the entire time pining over Jackson."

"Kara-" her dad warned.

Lily pushed herself up and leaned onto the table.

"Well, I hardly expect you to understand. You're just a kid. Who have you ever been in love with?"

Kara's eyes widened. "I am not a kid. And if anyone's been acting like one, it's you."

"My goodness! What is going on in here?"

Lily heard her stepmother's voice from behind her, and straightened.

"Nothing," she said.

"Kara?"

Lily didn't have to look to know that Diane was practically pinning Kara to the wall with her eyes. Kara swallowed and glanced at her dad.

"It's nothing Mom, really. I was just trying to help."

She sat back down and concentrated on her food. Lily stepped away from the table as Diane glided over to the counter and gave her dad a peck on the cheek. Like Kara, she too had every strand of blond hair in place, and her turquoise blouse and white capris were freshly pressed.

"Anything I should know about, Stephen?"

He shook his head and handed her a cup of coffee. "Nah, just some sisterly advice gone awry."

Diane observed Lily with cool eyes over the top of her mug as she took a sip. She tapped her porcelain nails on the cup several times before speaking.

"Everything okay with you, Lily? You seem flustered."

"Yes, ma'am. I'm fine."

"You sure?"

Lily nodded and took a step toward the door. "I think I'll just get my run out of the way early today."

"Well, don't rush off because of us. Stay and eat breakfast." Diane smiled, but Lily could never tell whether or not it was genuine.

Her dad frowned and wrapped his hand around Diane's waist, stabbing Lily with unexpected resentment.

"I thought you might relax some while we're here, Lily. Don't push yourself right now."

She shook her head, still surprised when he just didn't get it. Hadn't he been an athlete too?

"Look, I'm not about to let some little freshman come in and steal my position. I have to push myself."

"At least eat something," he said.

She sighed and reached for a pancake, shoving half of it in her mouth. The rest she tossed onto a plate on the counter.

"Gotta go," she said after a big swallow.

She headed back across the living room as her dad called out one more time.

"Don't forget your-"

"I know, Dad! I'm not twelve anymore. Besides, bees don't fly around on the beach."

Lily went back to her room, kicked her slippers across the floor, and dug through her suitcase until she found her running clothes and shoes. She should have known breakfast with her dad wouldn't help. Maybe she shouldn't have even come on vacation with them at all. No matter what she did to make things right, no matter how pleasant her conversations with Diane or Kara might be, she was always the odd-shaped piece that didn't quite fit in the puzzle.

She plopped onto the bed and dropped her clothes to the floor. She'd never truly realized how much she'd depended on Jackson and his family. Without him, she really was alone.

"You okay?" Kara asked from the doorway.

Lily glanced up and went back to putting on her shoes.

"Yeah. I'm good."

Kara stepped into the room and toyed with the chain hanging from the ceiling fan.

"I'm sorry if I upset you."

"Don't worry about it. We're fine." Lily dropped her foot onto the floor with a thud. "I do have to get going, though. I don't want to have a heat stroke out there."

"Mind if I come along?"

"What about Rachel?"

"Still sleeping."

She'd prefer to sweat her problems out alone, but she had to admit having Kara along would help push her. The runt had actually done well at the State track meet just a month earlier.

"Sure," she said. "But if you outrun me again, I'll have to beat you senseless."

Kara grinned. "You'll have to catch me first."

Later that evening, Lily stood on the playground and squeezed the sand between her toes as a warm, moist breeze swirled strands of hair around her face. The village shops by the pier had been teeming with tourists all afternoon, but most of them had closed down hours ago. The sounds of traffic and screaming kids had faded into a gentle lapping of the ocean against the nearby rocks.

Her feet ached from walking around for the past several hours, and her head was beginning to throb as well. To make matters worse, her dad had insisted that she keep an eye on Kara and her cousin Rachel, which meant an evening full of aimlessly wandering through tourist shops and listening to shallow comparisons of one guy after another. At this point, she wanted nothing more than to go back to the beach house, put her feet up, and relax with a good book.

A few yards away, Kara and Rachel competed to see who could swing the highest. As much as they insisted on being treated like adults, it was amazing how childish they could be. She rolled her eyes and sighed, glancing down at her watch. Nearly time to go.

"Y'all about ready?" she called.

Rachel jumped out of her swing first, followed by Kara who narrowly missed landing on her rear. Rachel doubled over with laughter, and Lily couldn't help but laugh too. Kara flushed bright red as she glanced around to see if anyone else had seen her stumble.

"Nice," Lily said.

Kara ignored her and straightened her clothes. Rachel slid her feet into her sandals and tugged her shorts back into place, though they still left little to the imagination. She smoothed her dark hair and picked her purse up off the ground. Then suddenly she squealed like a mouse and waved Kara toward her.

"Look, those cops over there are cute!"

Lily followed her gaze to the massive live oaks that provided a canopy over a picnic area of the park. It was empty now except for two officers talking quietly at a picnic table in the lamp light, their bikes resting in a rack nearby. From several yards away they appeared similar—broad shoulders, dark hair, well-built. Nothing spectacular.

"You're hopeless," Lily said. "They're way too old for you to even think about."

Rachel shrugged. "So? Cute is just cute. Age doesn't factor."

Lily looked at them again. Maybe Rachel was right, but she wasn't interested in another lame discussion about guys like they were a tasty dessert item.

"They're all right, I guess. Not really my type."

Kara snorted. "Oh please. I think you have to date more than one person to have a type."

Rachel laughed and looked away from Lily's glare.

"Well, you are the expert," Lily said. "How many boyfriends have you had?"

Kara took a few steps closer and jutted her chin at Lily. "I know a lot more than you think. I know that hanging out with one guy since you were nine years old doesn't make you an expert. You wouldn't even know what to do if a great guy was interested in you."

"Sure I would. I'd say thanks but no thanks."

"Oh my word, Lil. Seriously. There's something wrong with you."

"I don't care what you think about me. I don't want to date right now."

Rachel's mouth fell open. "Really?"

"Look, I just want to enjoy my vacation. You know, relax a little, read a good book, take a walk on the beach. I don't need drama."

Kara shook her head. "I'm not talking about a serious relationship here. Look around. There are cute guys everywhere. Loosen up and have some fun."

"I don't need a guy around to have fun."

Kara winked at Rachel. "Well, if you're going to be hanging around us, you better get used to cute guys being around. In fact, I think we should start right now." She nodded toward the tree where the cops were still seated. Rachel's face lit up.

"Oh no," Lily said. "We're going back to the house. It's nearly midnight."

But they sped away before she could stop them, so she threw her hands in the air and followed. This was going to be humiliating. As she approached the officers, the girls sang hello in unison. She could just imagine what these two gentlemen must be thinking. Leaning back on their elbows in identical poses, both of the officers grinned at the girls.

Then she caught a glance from the one on the left, and his eyes traveled down her legs. A sliver of a smirk played at the corner of his lips. Maybe gentleman wasn't the right word. Kara rattled off introductions, oblivious to the amusement on their faces.

"I'm Kara. This is my sister, Lily, and our cousin, Rachel."

Lily offered a polite nod. There had to be a way to exit gracefully, but she couldn't think of one. Kara and Rachel dropped onto the bench of a picnic table opposite the officers, looking entirely too eager. They were practically panting.

"I'm Steve," the one on the right said. "It's nice to meet you, ladies." His smile lit up his whole face, and his eyes had a warm puppy-like expression. Lily relaxed a little. At least one of them was friendly anyway.

"You can just call him Poindexter." The other officer's eyes sparked with mischief, and Steve slapped him across the chest.

"I know you don't want me to tell them what they can call you, Rambo."

"Rambo?" Rachel asked, tilting her head.

He waved his hand to dismiss the question. "Forget it. It's not that funny anyway."

On closer inspection, the nickname seemed fitting given his dark waves and bulging muscles. He probably did think he was some sort of action hero. She could practically see him admiring his biceps in a mirror.

"So what is your name, Rambo?" Lily asked.

Their eyes met, and his lips tipped into a smirk.

"Walker. Alex Walker."

Yep, definitely an action hero.

"So what are you supposed to be?" she asked. "Double-oh-six-and-a-half?" The retort slipped out before Lily could catch it.

Steve snickered and looked away from Alex's murderous glance.

"Well, you can just call me Daddy." He cocked an eyebrow at her, an obvious challenge, but his grin never changed.

Lily held his gaze, irritated by the way her stomach flipped. Must have been something she'd eaten.

Rachel finally broke the awkward silence. "So, um, is it usually this quiet around here?"

Steve shook his head. "Nah, it'll pick up tomorrow, trust me. This place'll be crawling with people and screaming kids."

"And plenty of little boys for you girls to play with, I'm sure," Alex added.

Rachel's chest sprang out as she huffed. "We are not little girls, and we are not interested in little boys."

"How old do you think we are anyway?" Kara asked.

Lily couldn't wait for this response. Alex had wandered into dangerous waters, but he seemed oblivious. He put his fingers to his chin and assessed them.

"Hmm, let me see."

Steve waved off the challenge. "I can't ever tell." He sent a knowing grin at Lily, and she couldn't help but smile back. At least he had some sense.

"Well," Alex said, looking first at Kara, then at Rachel. "With all the make-up, you look about twenty-one. So I'd have to say you two are about thirteen, maybe fourteen."

Kara's mouth dropped open and Rachel gasped. Lily could barely control her laughter.

"What?" Rachel exclaimed. "I am fifteen, almost sixteen!"

"And I am already sixteen!" Kara folded her arms across her chest.

"Whoa! Don't get your panties in a wad." Alex threw up his hands in surrender. "I was just giving you a hard time."

As the girls continued to sulk, he winked at Lily. Something about him sent a shiver down her arms.

"And how about you?" he asked.

She hesitated. She shouldn't let him bait her into comments she might regret. Arrogant or not, he was an officer of the law, a position she had always been taught to respect.

Rachel finally spoke for her. "She actually is twenty-one."

Kara lifted a brow, a puzzled look that seemed to ask if she was okay. Lily decided to ignore it and Alex as well.

She turned and looked out over the ocean, wishing she could enjoy it alone. The ocean and sky had melted into one large black expanse, but she could hear the waves tumble into the rocks not far away.

"So, how long have you been police officers?" Kara asked.

"Seven years for me," Steve answered.

"You're kidding. You don't seem that old."

Steve laughed. "I went into the police academy right out of high school. Been doing this since I was eighteen."

Lily glanced at Kara and caught the slight nod toward Steve. She knew she was being rude, but what did Kara expect? Flirting with a stranger wasn't going to fill the hole in her chest. Still, she supposed she should at least be polite.

"That's pretty young to become a cop," Lily said. "You didn't think about going to college?"

"Nah." He grinned like the thought was absurd. "I never wanted to do anything but be a cop. Dad's a cop. Mom's a cop. Just seemed natural."

He smiled at her again, and the warmth of it reached out to her. It wasn't much, but it made her smile. Maybe getting to know Steve wasn't the worst idea in the world.

Alex caught the flush in Lily's cheeks as she smiled at Steve, and he took a quick glance at his partner. Steve was the nicest guy he'd ever met. Too nice. And he wasn't about to let some snobby chick get the wrong idea about him. Besides, no matter how nice he was, even Steve could be tempted by a hot girl, and he had to admit this one was a looker. Her legs had caught his attention first—long, athletic—but it was her eyes that he kept coming back to. They were cool and aloof, wandering over everything in the park, except him. He could tell from the moment she walked over that she'd rather be anywhere else. Until now.

He'd have to nip the flirting before she mistook Steve's goofy grin for something more than friendly conversation.

"So that makes you about, what, twenty-five?" Lily asked.

"Yep, I'm getting old." Steve's chest shook with his chuckle.

"Thankfully you finally found a good woman to take care of you in your waning years." Alex darted his eyes over to Lily as he spoke, satisfied with the subtle fall of her smile.

Steve's face lit up with his crooked grin, unaware of the hope he'd just crushed.

"Yeah, I got a good one alright."

"How long is it to the wedding?" Alex threw that one in for good measure.

Steve looked up at the stars as if he expected the answer to be spelled out as a connect-the-dots puzzle.

"I guess about six weeks or so." He looked back down at the girls and grinned. "I don't have much to do with the planning. I'm just supposed to show up on time."

The younger two dove into questions about the wedding, though Steve never seemed to give good enough answers. Lily hung back, of course, her eyes drifting down the beach. She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight back and forth like she couldn't wait to get out of there. The lights of the ice cream parlor across the parking lot went dark, and she looked down at her watch with visible relief.

"We should probably get going."

The blond glanced at her watch as well. "We still have a little time left. What's the big hurry?"

"You two are supposed to be back by midnight." Lily pointed a look directly at the brunette with all the make-up. "Your parents would kill me if I let you stay out late, and you know it."

"A few minutes isn't going to hurt anything," she whined.

He watched Lily squirm. She looked like a kid in desperate need of a bathroom break. Too damn good to hang out with public servants probably.

"Yeah, Lily," he said. "What's the hurry? Don't you like us?"

"Uh, well…" she stammered. "It's not that. I just don't want them to get in trouble."

"Let me guess," he said. "You do everything you're told and you've never disappointed anyone." She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off. "You've never missed a single curfew in your life, have you?"

"What's it to you?"

"Well, that must be an exciting life."

She swung her weight to the other hip and shot bullets of contempt from her eyes.

"Just because I take my responsibilities seriously doesn't mean I can't have a good time."

"Oh, I'm sure you're the life of the party."

Little Miss Perfect was making this way too easy. She turned and jerked her head at the other two.

"Let's go."

They stood up and flashed adorable smiles. Then they sang their goodbye as bubbly as they had their hello. The brunette flipped her hair and winked, and he stifled a laugh. That girl was going to be trouble in another year or two.

Lily, on the other hand, was already trouble. He could feel it. Something about her still lingered after she'd disappeared, like the aftertaste of an expensive wine. It reminded him of why he hated the stuff.