5Just in love
She glows like a dazzling light,
Her smile is always ever so bright,
She listens all through the day and night,
I can't ever forget her, try as I might.
She doesn't know what she means to me,
Maybe one day she'll be able to see,
To my locked heart, she holds the key.
From her grip, I'll never be able to break free.
Can I ever really let her know,
That I just can't seem to let go,
She makes my heart go whoa,
With every breath, it's a new kinda flow.
Her picture held in this pretty frame,
I love the way she calls my name,
To me this will never be a game,
If I love her, am I to blame?
You live with the regret, day in and day out, sitting there pondering on how things could have been different if you'd just acted in the other way. Has too much time passed for the wrongs to be fixed? Is it ever too late to make things right again?
What happens, when no matter what you do, you can't seem to shake away those memories that you've tried ever so hard to repress. They will always be there with you, for lifetime, to just haunt you and remind you of the mistakes that you once caused.
Aiden De Cruz liked to think himself something of a cool, calm and collected guy. He wouldn't say that he was big headed, as often that was how people referred him too, more so that he was confident and had a sense of style and 'swag'. He knew how to charm people, get them to do things his way, making sure that he got the best possible results, though he made sure that he never intimidated nor manipulated anyone. He had his boundaries.
He was an extremely good looking guy; he knew it and as did everyone else around him. His jet black hair, perfectly spiked up, his glistening grey eyes, his pale smooth skin, almost gave him somewhat of a vampuric look, as well as creating a mysterious aura about him.
"Aidan! Come and eat breakfast honey!"
He took a final glance in the mirror, smoothing out his crisp white shirt, which had been neatly ironed anyway, placed his gel back on his shelf and went downstairs, where his mother had laid out breakfast on the table. His older sister and younger brother were already at the table, having one of their daily arguments about why cereal was better than having toast.
Aiden took his seat next his brother, ruffling his hair roughly, playfully punching him on the arm.
"MUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! AIDEN HITTED ME!" Aiden's 10 year old brother Tom, wailed, trying to hit him back with a spoon. Like Aiden, Tom too had jet black hair, but didn't have grey eyes, but had their father's hazel eyes.
"Aiden, leave you brother alone!" His mother's tone was gentle but firm. His sister, slightly snickered at that, shooting a glance of 'shame' to him, to which he responded by rolling his eyes out.
Katya, Aiden's 23 year old sister, was absolutely stunning. Her long jet black hair was sleek and silky and she had grey eyes, similar to her brothers, but more cat like. She always made sure her eyes were dramatically done up with her heavy black eye liner, almost covering her eye lid, which she finished off with a thick flick at the end. She was almost as pale as her brother, yet she still had a glow about her.
"Right, I'm off to work now kids!" Katya teased her siblings, before giving Tom a kiss on the cheek and then Aiden as well much to his displeasure. "Your interview is at ten Aiden, don't forget!"
Aiden grunted something of a response, whilst he waffled down the last bit of his toast. As if he could forget about his interview; he had been practising answering questions for weeks now, making sure he perfected each one of his answers. He had become a pro and could repeat every one of his answers to perfection. As well as that, he made sure that he had enough pictures in his portfolio to show the interviewers.
By 21, Katya had set up one of the biggest teen magazine companies in London, making her one the youngest entrepreneurs of the year. Two years later, Aiden was going in for an interview due to the fact that he wanted a part time job. If she'd wanted, Katya could have easily given the job to her brother, but she believed in giving a fair chance to everyone. As well as this, she also had another applicant waiting for an interview. However, Katya wouldn't be interviewing him, due to the fact that it would have been a conflict of interest; instead she made sure he would be in good hands by getting one of her colleagues to grill him and she knew he'd be fine. After he'd finished breakfast, he ran through his notes one last time, before he set off.
Despite the fact that it was November, the day was pretty cool and somewhat sunny. The leaves on the trees were slowly starting to turn to brown as they gradually fell to floor, covering the pavements deep. The cool breeze added a nice temperature to air, so it wasn't too chilly nor was it too hot, though in the evenings, maybe a light jacket would be required.
It was on days like this, that Aiden absolutely loved to walk to places, as he could he could just enjoy the cool breeze and absorb everything around him. He liked this calm, peaceful and serene feeling where he could just have some time to think alone.
As he walked to Katya's office, he remembered that one specific time; he was coming home from school, playing with the leaves and chucking them in the air. He must have been about 5 or 6 then.
"Catch this Rose!" Aiden had chucked a handful of dry leaves onto his friend, which had landed on her head, almost covering the top of strawberry blonde hair.
"Aidyyyyy! That's not funny!" Rose had scowled at him with her emerald green eyes sparkling away, even though it hadn't been that sunny. She fiddled around with her head, aggressively brushing away the leaves.
"Come here darling," Aiden's mum had softly spoke to Rose, helping her get the remainder of the leaves off, before turning to Aidan. "Now come on hunny, apologise to your friend."
"Sorry Rose." Aiden's voice had sounded sad as he'd looked at his friend who no longer had a scowl on her face but a big smile.
"It's okay Aidy! Let's have a race!" Before Aiden had even had a chance to reply, she'd grabbed his hand and had gone running along the pavements.
Aiden softly chuckled to himself as he remembered this memory; Rose had always been a bit of a crazy child but he'd loved spending every moment with her and as they'd grown up, they'd become pretty close. They used to live next door to each other up until about 16, so he hadn't seen her since year 11. To say he missed her was an understatement, but he knew this was his fault. She had tried to stay in contact but he'd pushed away and had more or less cut ties with her. Too much had happened and he knew that he had to let her go; it was for both their goods. If only he hadn't, as he could have done with her company now.
Aiden quickly shrugged that memory away; he didn't want anything interrupting his thoughts now and quickly went back to focusing on his interview answers. As much as he missed Rose, now wasn't the time to think about her. He had to make sure that he aced his interview so he'd get the job. Despite the fact that he felt quietly confident about the job, he knew there were a few other candidates going for the job and that he would have to stand out from the crowd.
For the last few weeks or so, Aiden had been out and about, taking pictures of literally anything and everything from the leaves on the trees slowly turning to brown and falling on the floor to people walking around in the streets to just random shots outside his window as the sun slowly set in the horizon.
Although he was studying Law at uni, he'd always had a passion for photography which he'd taken up as a hobby in his spare time. He'd usually go out in the weekends to the park across the road and spend a good few hours there just taking pictures of the scenery. He liked that he could just get lost into his own world, with no-one there to bother him about him anything.
About 5 minutes later, he had reached Katya's office, where he introduced himself and waited for another 10 minutes before he was called in for his interview.
"Good morning Mr De Cruz." A man in his mid thirties, with round spectacles gave a brief nod, extended his hand out for a handshake, which Aiden responded too and then pointed to a seat indicating for him to take a seat.
"Now, I understand that you are Miss De Cruz's brother?" the man asked.
"That is correct," Aiden replied. "But I wouldn't want that to affect any decision you make on whether you offer the job or not; I understand that there have been other's who have applied for this position."
The man briefly smiled at that before going into a full interview mode. For the next hour or so, Aiden was put through his paces with the questions such as 'what made you want to go into photography?' 'What style do you take?' 'Do your pictures reflect your personality?'. To each of these questions, he answered confidently; he'd gone into photography as he'd enjoyed capturing the moment of things, the style he took was somewhat natural and it did reflect his personality to some extent as there was always that much more to the picture which you had to look deeper in to find.
"Right, final question, what or who would you say inspired you go into photography?"
Aiden hadn't been expecting this question and was thrown off a minute. He wasn't too sure how exactly to answer it; should he tell the truth or make something up? But by telling the complete truth, it would mean he'd have to dig deeper into his memories, which was something he didn't want to do. Now wasn't the time or place.
"Erm, as I've said, it's the whole element of being able to capture the moment so you have it forever, as well as being able to share it with everyone. I guess people in general inspired me; more so those that are close to me." Aiden made sure he'd chosen his words carefully so he wasn't telling too much of a lie but nor was it the complete truth.
"Ok, thank you for your time. I must say I have been very impressed so you shall know what the verdict is within the next 24 hours or so," the man informed him. Aiden thanked him, shaking his head and then headed out, almost colliding into explosion of red hair.
"Oh my god! I'm so sorry!" the red headed explosion gushed, clasping a hand to her face. "Oh my god! Aidy?"
Aiden looked at her in confusion for a few seconds before registering who was standing in front of him.
"Cee-Cee?" he gasped in bewilderment. Before he'd even had a chance to utter another word, he found himself wrapped in a tight hug and excited squeals of 'oh my god!". The next minute was a total blur for him and he wasn't too sure if it had really happened or not.
Till this day, you still carry the pictures with you because you can't get around to throwing it away. Or more so, that you don't want to. You want to hold onto that part of you because it meant a lot to you. Actually it still does but you try not to show it as much anymore.
You want to express your feelings, but somehow you just can't seem to get the words out. If only things hadn't happened the way they did, it would have been easier to deal with. But here's the thing, nothing is ever easy in life; it just depends on how you go about looking at it and finding the best possible way to overcome problems. There's always a solution to every problem and if you try hard enough you will be able to find it.
When will the memories fade you wonder. Or if they ever will. What if they don't, then you are stuck with living with the reminder of it all...