9So sorry everyone! Please don't be mad. I had to find my funny back after a summer crush gone wrong. And a brunch of other things got in the way of me turning on a computer. It's been like weeks huh? I'll try and stay on a schedule. I hope you like it!
The Baker and the Accountant
Oh My Custard!
The day Jake asked Elizabeth was the day when I realized that Elizabeth really is honest. I never expected things to turn out like this. Had she NEVER been hit on before?! The naivety Elizabeth held was unprecedented to anybody else I knew. I mean, who would fall for a line like, "Personally I have been working up the nerve to do so but this will do."
Elizabeth.
She is the ONLY person who would take Jake seriously.
Jane silently looked at le with her shocked and confused look as to how I could just stand there and not say anything. Honestly, I was just shocked at the whole notion of the love of my life dating my best friend. Dang it, she was Elizabeth, the innocent, the princess who was supposed to wait for her prince. Jake? He was the guy who…god. They are perfect for each other. My shocked face turned to a grim and Jane's turn to horror as she looked at me.
"Well time to leave, shall we, Jackson?" she nudged. Her arm linked mine and twirled me to face the opposite direction. We walked away from the loving couple's shocked expressions. Can you hear my disappointment?
When Jane and I reached my apartment, we solemnly sat down on the couch. Now isn't this freaking ironic? My ex-girlfriend wants to comfort me when the girl I like is dating. I had locked the door and took off my shoes. Jane took off her boots and then I noticed she was visibly shorter. Not as short as Elizabeth but still shorter. As I hear the T.V. turn on to the basketball game, I closed my eyes and laid my head o the couch's arm. Jane kicked my leg lightly after I was asleep. It woke me up like a lighting jolt. Jesus, that girl never learned how to wake somebody up. I had slipped off the couch and onto the dang carpet.
"What?" I whined, "Can't you leave me to wallow in my stupidity?"
"Oh good, you know you're stupid," she said calmly while heading towards the kitchen. I smiled at her usual snarky comment.
"Oh shut up," I said without a hint of seriousness in my voice. Jane was rummaging through my cabinets and crash. Then I heard a whispered swore echoed to the living room.
"Sorry!" she exclaimed. I chuckled. No matter how cool Jane looked and acted, never in life have I seen a lady clumsier as Jane with chinaware. I sure hope her husband loves to wash dishes.
"What are you looking for?" I wondered as I slouched over to the kitchen.
"Your coffee! Why is it that you only have tea?!" she replied dramatically.
"Sorry, I don't have coffee," I told her. She poked her head into the living room. Why don't I have coffee? Well, I'm not much of a coffee addict as Jane but I did purchase all of my coffee nowadays at Elizabeth's. Jane's face turned to shock. It was like she was told coffee was now worth an arm and a leg. Without sugar and cream. That would cost extra.
"Wow, I can't believe you don't have coffee! What are you? Some kind of health nut? Coffee is the staple of breakfast food! Tea, tea, tea, are you tea-crazy or something? Hah hah hah, I am better than you because I drink tea. Yeah sure right. Man, everybody I know has at least one container of instant coffee in their kitchen whether they drink coffee or not…" Jane rambled until her cell phone rang. Thank god. Note to self, don't get Jane started on coffee.
"Hello?" she asked lightly, trying to keep her voice neutral. A pause as she listened to the caller's reply, scowling at me. I can imagine her saying, "You are so lucky I'm on the phone."
"Oh my custard! I forgot! Did you know Jackson doesn't have any coffee?" she complained. I mouthed "Who is it?" and she replied "Elizabeth". I nodded in understanding and promptly ignored their girl talk. Oh my custard? Is that like "Oh my god" but Elizabeth adapted?
"I know right? We will come over, don't kiss. I don't want to walk in and see that…okay?," she continued winking at me returning to a smile. I rolled my eyes and thought about Jake and Elizabeth. Together. Kissing…I groaned and put my head in my hands. Jane had finished talking and headed to the door putting on her black coat. I stayed put.
"Well come on," she ushered over, making hand motions and everything. Am I a dog or something?
"Nah…it's going to be weird as hell," I said. She flung a scarf end around her neck and walked over dragging me.
"Why are you so stubborn?" she huffed after a while of pulling.
"Why are you so stubborn?" I bit back while putting on my shoes. Jane ignored me and stepped outside. Her mouth was covered by the scarf with only her nose showing.
"Hey…that scarf looks nice, where did you get it?" I asked trying to compliment her. Jane looked at the scarf and smiled that warm smile.
She replied, "Elizabeth made it for me when we broke up."
I froze.
"Gee thanks Jane, for making me feel so much better. Today is not my day." I said sarcastically then mumbling off. Jane laughed.
As I head out to the car with Jae following behind me, a seriously awkward silence passes between us. Because how do you continue a conversation after your love made me a scarf because we broke up. Impossible. So I just shut up and drove. When we arrived at Elizabeth's house, we were still not talking. Jane exited the car as quick as she could and rang the doorbell. I almost did the same so I don't blame her. Puffs of smoke trailed behind her. I got out as well but hung around the car breathing deeply trying to conserve heat. The door swung open and Elizabeth gestured us in.
"The snow is piling in; you guys should stay for the night." She continued.
As Jane and I settle into the couch across from Jake, Elizabeth disappears off somewhere.
"You know, I didn't know that you like Elizabeth," Jane said suddenly. I immediately grabbed the TV remote and start flipping through the channels.
"Yeah, we met up once to buy ingredients for a cake and ever since I never wanted it to end," he replied oh so shyly.
"That's what I thought too!" Elizabeth said as she heads into the room. She set down four plates with flan. Or is it yellow pudding?
I eyed it before looking back at Elizabeth. She was sitting very closely on Jake's lap. Holy shit! How did things progress this far? And kissing him. Like they're a couple!
"What is this?" I asked trying to stop them.
"Egg custard." Jane answered.
"Is it sweet?" I shot back hoping the right girl answered this time. Elizabeth faced me and shrugged. She smiled and lifted one plate and a spoon of egg custard to Jake's mouth. He ate it. Happily.
"How is it?" she asked in that shy manner of hers. I couldn't help but grimace. I tried to cover it up by quickly stuffing a piece of custard in my mouth.
"Mmm," I mumbed
"I thought you wanted to know if it's sweet?" Elizabeth questioned with that little tilt in her head. She took another piece of custard from Jake, using the same spoon and put it in her mouth. I choked. A piece of custard hanging out of my mouth.
Jane laughed. I hoped at least she tried to hold it in… Nope. She must have laughed for what felt like an eternity drawing everyone's attention.
"I'm so sorry. I just thought of something funny," she said between chuckles while wiping an imaginary tear. She took a deep breath but still laughed. And we couldn't help but laugh too.