When the World Falls Down on Me

I thought I was fine.

I thought I finally accepted

Who I am.

But, when the world comes down on me,

Telling me that I shouldn't

Accept who I am,

What do I do?

Do I give up and hate myself

Like they do?

Or do I fight, until I see what's right?

I want to stay.

I think I can help.

Maybe if I help those who need it,

It'll make up,

For the monster I am?

What I see is a plain field full of flowers in me,

What they see is a graveyard full of bones in me.

When you finally gather the courage to ask,

You're turned down by every hand you seek.

How do you feel?

Hopeless, helpless?

They're not even close to describe that feeling.

I shut myself up, trying to change into what they are.

But I can't.

I try and I try, but my old self somehow creeps back.

Why am I like this?

I look up at the sky and ask.

No reply.

Was I meant to be this way?

Is it right to question anything?

Or should I just follow the footsteps of those before me?

I want to be the angel that's white and serene.

But what do I do, if I can't untangle myself from the devil that's me?

Before, I would ask, what's wrong with me?

Now, I ask, why am I me?

I know the last line sounds weird, tell me if it does. It makes sense to me, but I don't know if you would understand or not.