Chapter 4

Friday comes and goes. I end up just leaving my picture as is which gives me a B for effort. Mrs. Neal says though I have talent, I lack creativity. I just shrug and continue drawing the fruit she places in the center of the room for today's activity.

Saturday comes as a break for me. Dad decides it's time to for the girls to explore the world. He and mom take them to the zoo, leaving me to my own devices. I sleep well for once – a good three extra hours – before doing some cleaning. I wash the girls' and my clothes, straighten up my room, and doing homework assigned over the weekend. When all is done, I find myself standing in the middle of the living room confused on what to do next.

Never have I felt this way. What do I do now? There are no diapers to be changed. There is no mess to clean up? No one is yelling or crying or begging for anything; so what am I to do?

My cellphone rings. I sigh in relief as I go to the kitchen where I left it. "Hello?"

"Are you dead?" a female voice asks.

"Uh…no?"

"Has one of your daughters fallen sick and your mind is too busy to dial a number?"

"No."

"The why, on God's Earth, have you not called me Vivianna Smith!?"

I pull the phone away from my ear to look at the caller I.D. – something I forget to do before answering my phone. Ashley, of course.

Ashley was the first and one of the only persons I talked to when I moved to Grandma's. She was my neighbor and came to great me when I arrived. As soon as she handed me the pie her mother baked, she hugged and offered her help with anything I needed. She says she's psychic and can tell when a woman was pregnant. I say it's because she was in the same place I was when she was my age – she three years older than I – and the guilt she feels for aborting gave her this sixth sense. She thinks I'm crazy for just coming up with that.

Since our meeting, we have been thick as thieves. She took me to birthing classes, helped me purchase things, and she even picked out the names for the girls. She's their godmother and if anything was to happen to me or my parents, she gets custody; her and her now fiancé.

"Ash, I am so sorry. I totally meant to call you!"

"Sure you did. You forgot all about little ol' me the minute you left. I am hurt!" She lets out a fake sniffle.

"You know I can never forget you. You have done so much for me; I still don't know how to repay you."

"Shut up. We are not having this conversation again. How are my girls?"

I laugh. "They're great. Loving grandpa and grandma. They are actually at the zoo right now."

"And how are you spending your Saturday?"

"I did some cleaning and washing and homework, but now I'm at a standstill. I have nothing left to do. It's weird."

She's quiet for a minute as if thinking about her next words. "The father?"

I sigh and take a seat at the kitchen table. "As clueless as ever. He tried hitting on me the first day back until he found out who I was. Now he won't leave me alone. He's dating my ex-bestfriend yet he says he has changed his ways. It's hard to believe."

"You have to tell him, though."

"Why does everyone keep saying that? You, my mom, my dad, and Josh. I don't…"

"Wait! Who's Josh?"

"Ex-boyfriend, only friend I have, and only person who knows about Niccie and Gabbie."

"You told some guy not the father about your babies?"

"Yes!" I scream. "It was so much easier. He just came up to me and started to read me like a book. It was like he had been there all these years and just waiting for him to tell him what he already knew."

"Then why can't you tell what's-his-name?" Ashley asks.

"Because…because…I don't know!" I jump up as if she is right in front of me watching my movements. "Salvatore is just so…ugh!"

She's silent again. I catch my breath as I wait for her next words. I hear a car pull up and I go to the window. A red Mercedes has just pulled up to the curb and Salvatore gets out. "Speak of the devil," I whisper in shock.

"What?"

"He just pulled up to my house." I rub my eyes. How has my easy day become so full of stress?

"You should tell him."

"I'll think about it."

"I guess that's the best anyone can get out of you." She sighs. "Well, I'll let you go deal. Call me or I will hunt you down! Oh, and Francis is sending you something. Make sure someone is there to sign for it."

"Will do. Thanks for calling. I'll talk to you later." The doorbell rings. "Wish me luck."

"It's been wished. Bye."

I press the end button and walk to the door, phone clutched tightly in my hands. I slowly pull open the door and there he stands, rays of sunlight surrounding his form majestically. He's wearing dark jeans again but a white button down this time. His hands are in his pockets and his head is bent in a submission like pose. I can't see his eyes.

"Yes?" Only my head is sticking out the door. I feel like a turtle.

"I…don't know what I'm doing here," he says. "I went driving to clear my head of you, yet here I am; standing before the one thing that haunts me."

"I haunt you!"

"That didn't come out right," he quickly says. "I just can't stop thinking about you and what happened and how I treated you. It's bothered me since it happened."

"It hasn't bothered you enough to not go and hook up with my best friend."

"I know that looks bad…"

"No, it more than looks bad. It feels bad." I open the door wider, step outside barefooted, and close the door behind me. "When I saw her grab your hand, it was the last straw. After everything, that did it. I can't even explain it. Lily was always better than me and the fact that you chose her, stuck with her for so long, just tied the knot. Why? Why her?"

"She was the last thing I had of you," he says, finally looking me in the eyes.

Those green balls hold the truth of his statement. For the first time, I believe him. All week I felt like it was lie after lie, but now I see something that resembles honesty. Yet…

"You still don't have me."

"I want to start over."

"It's way too late for that."

"Then let me prove to you that I have changed," he says with determination.

I cross my arms. "How do you plan on doing that?"

He shrugs and smiles, taking my words as acceptance. "I have thought that far ahead. I was expecting a letdown."

"It's only been a week, but I feel like it's been months that this has gone on. I'm tired and I don't have time to fight with you."

"Vivianna, I promise that you won't regret this. I promise." He turns and heads to his car.

"I better not," I whisper. "There is a lot more riding on this than you and me."

He doesn't hear me and continues to walk. I stand out there until I no longer see his car. Going back into the house, if I find myself in the same predicament I had an hour ago. What do I do next?