He leans down, and brushes his lips against the boy's, his eyes closed tight. He's not sure what he wants to see, so he kisses him like he does most things in life, blindly hoping that what he's doing is right. He thinks he feels the slightest bit of stirring beneath his lips before he draws back, all swift and flustered. His face is practically on fire but he doesn't bother trying to deny it, instead watching the boy's face with nothing short of fear.
Shit. He's straight, isn't he? He's straight. His teeth are worrying his bottom lip, and the boy presses a hand to the side of his face. "You're a good kisser."
He grins, a wave of relief surging through him. "First time's the charm, huh?"
It prompts a laugh and he looks sheepishly down at the ground. "So…" His mouth goes dry and he bites his lip a little harder. "A second try would be a little better, wouldn't it?"
He's pulled in before he can even think about the possibility of rejection and he throws himself headlong into the display of affection, holding the boy tight even after they've both pulled away. "…Wow. That's…" He could do nothing but smile as widely as he could, stiffening suddenly as he heard the loud honking of a car horn.
"I think—" He hoped with all of his being that it wasn't who he thought it was, so when he looked up, his heart fell through his stomach. "…Shit. I'll—I'll see you tomorrow." He hugs him tight and runs over to his father's car afterward, wondering what he should say.
"H—Hey Dad." He tries to sound as cheery as he could, smiling in a far too conspicuous way. "What's up?"
"Nicholas." His father's voice is cold and he has to hold himself still to avoid jumping out and running as far as he can. "You mentioned working on a… project. I'm sure you got a lot done." From the look in his eyes, he could tell he'd seen and his father's policy of not speaking about things was only sucking the air out from around him.
"Y—Yeah." He nodded. "Got lots done. Finished, actually."
They fell into an uneasy silence for the rest of the way home and he taps his foot on the ground, trying his best to avoid throwing up. His father wasn't scary at all, most of the time, but when he avoided subjects, he suddenly became the most dangerous person in the world. Politics really was the best career for him, Nicky mused, and he took the first opportunity to escape as the car pulled into the driveway.
"MOM! I'M HOME!" He grabbed his backpack and ran to his room as quickly as he could, eyes squeezed shut to prevent himself from crying. He slammed his door shut, ignoring the sound of his parents speaking in the kitchen and threw himself down on the bed, accidentally bumping his head on the wall.
Ethan ducked in as soon as he heard the noise, quickly shutting the door behind him before scooping Nicky up. "Something wrong…?"
"EVERYTHING'S FUCKING WRONG, OKAY?" He screamed, smacking Ethan across the face. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" He regretted the words as soon as they'd left his mouth and shook Ethan by the shoulders as his eyes went blank. "Ethan, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…"
"Oh, and now you're fucking sorry. A plus, stupid shit." JJ's caustic words were practically spat out. "Just shut your stupid ass mouth and let us take care of this fucking circus you've started."
Nicky nodded, seeing the true concern behind the words and kept his tight hold on his brother. "They're going to hate me, they're going to hate me, I don't know, I can't go anywhere else…"
JJ patted his back. "We'll get you out of here. Ethan's big enough." He nodded seriously, his eyes burning with a fervor that Ethan didn't have. "If they're going to be giant shitbags about it, then it's their own fault. Fucking idiots, I say."
"Thanks…" He managed a weak smile and JJ pulled him in for a hug, his glare speaking volumes about how much he'd hurt Nicky if he ever mentioned this.
"I've got your back." There was a knock on the door and his father peeked in. "Nicholas, your mother wants to speak to you." The formality in his words still shook Nicky's confidence further, but he swallowed hard and went for the door, ignoring the fact that his father walked off as soon as he came within a foot of the door.
At least he had his brother, if this all went to hell. And maybe he'd be able to kiss the nice boy from school again.