Ever been famous? Of course not or you wouldn't be reading this. I know you've wanted to be though. Who hasn't? I knew I wanted to be famous when I received a solo in fourth grade chorus. I loved that feeling when I knew everyone was there for me. That's when the dreaming started. I couldn't wait to have the entourage and the make-up artists. The personal stylists and the assistants. I wouldn't have to lift a finger. Those were the perks. But now I know. Now, I know that my fantasies were nothing like what reality is. Sometimes it can really suck. But what can I say? It's everything I've ever wanted. I wouldn't give it up for the world.

"You have a fitting at 8:30, a signing at 10:45 and a run through at noon. You have to be at the awards ceremony and in your seat at 5:45 so you're doing red carpet at 5:15. Anything else Miss Blake?"

"Of course. You can get me another chai latte, skim milk this time. Take my sunglasses and hold my calls." I replied in my signature bitchy tone. It's impossible to find good assistants these days especially ones who can put up with my grueling demands. I can't blame them completely though. I can find flaws in everyone. Except him.

If you didn't already know, I'm Adrianna Blake. And no, it's not a fake name. I'm an A-list celebrity and the only actress to reside at the Waldorf. I've been told I'm very attractive with my red hair and green eyes. I was discovered in a mall while shopping with my best friends, Madison and Nina. I haven't talked to them in almost nine years. I was cast instantly into a horror film in which I did well and shot to stardom at age sixteen.

Now, I'm twenty-four, been on countless magazine covers, and had offers from Playboy. Life doesn't get much better than what I'm living. But the one thing I want, the one thing I haven't achieved is having a successful relationship. And I don't just want a relationship. I want a specific man who I just happen to be in love with already.

The thought of him made me angry so I became more impatient at the slow moving elevator. My home was my sanctuary. Only I and invited guests even knew which floor it was on. I needed my own space, especially today seeing as it was already 7:15 and I was already too pissed off to care about anyone else.

The elevator reached its destination and I went swiftly to the door in front of me and quickly unlocked it, nearly melting at the sight of my impeccable home. I literally kicked off my heels and dropped my bags. A short relaxing bath sounded like the best thing for me. I needed to be mentally prepared for the ceremony tonight. Everyone was going to be there tonight. Especially Zach Lansing.

Zach Lansing and I met on the set of my first movie and quickly became friends. At sixteen and a new actress, I really wasn't thinking about anything other than my home life. I had a boyfriend named Evan who I missed dearly. Until he broke up with me because of the distance. I had a hunch that distance was accompanied by a slut named Courtney. Anyway, Zach had comforted me in my time of need and I realized how truly amazing he really was. Only I realized it too late. He'd already hooked up with Cynthia Bramlett, one of our costars. She was sweet, somewhat naïve and had an amazing pedigree for her career. Both of her parents were actors. She was also a year older than us. My pedigree paled in comparison.

Zach Lansing was the one man I'd ever fallen for. He was now engaged to Cynthia and utterly forbidden to be my best friend anymore. That didn't stop us for the first four years or so but once he decided to put a ring on it, she advised him politely that his betrayal had gone on long enough and if he wanted a future with her, then he needed to be completely dedicated to what she wants. So he cut me out. Or so she thought. Fortunately, he's been sneaking away and seeing me on the side. We used to just sit around and watch movies but about a year ago we were having our annual reunion of the day our first movie premiered. The one where we met and became best friends. We had been drinking and were watching the scene where we had to separate in order to get away from the killer.

We'd looked at each other, felt that telltale pull towards each other and ended up sleeping together. Our first time together, on a damn couch. We both said 'I love you' and 'I've wanted to be with you for so long.' Ultimately ending our friendship and starting something new. Over the last year, we've carried on that relationship, sometimes watching the movie that we believed started it all. The only downside, the only hitch in this entire wonderful life that we had created was that he was still dating Cynthia.

He kept saying he would break it off. He kept saying that he only wanted to be with me. He also always said that it wasn't the right time and he needed to handle this lightly. I was stupid and believed him every time. Until they announced their wedding date. That's when I realized that he was never going to leave her. The next night he had come over, I told him I was done. I told him to leave and never come back. That was a month ago and I hadn't spoken to him since.

My flash back to the past had stressed me out. Nothing a small drink couldn't help. And before you judge, I'm of age, it's only one and this life practically begs for alcoholism.

My bar stand was by my window seat. Glancing out my window and down at the street below, I saw a black town car parked at the curb. I assumed my assistant had messed up the times and I was now late for my fitting but someone exited the town car. Upon closer review, that someone looked familiar. And there was only one person who had visited me at my home.

Zach Lansing. He wouldn't. No means no. Coming here to see me was strictly against everything that I'd told him. I couldn't risk this type of distress on such a full scheduled day. I removed myself from the window seat and ran to my room. I'd already changed into a silk negligee that came to mid thigh but I needed the robe that went with it. He couldn't see me like this. He'd think he could get away with this type of behavior. Coincidentally, I also wanted him to see me in bed clothes. I didn't want him to forget that I was the best thing that had ever happened to him. My makeup was already perfect. Fresh splash of perfume and he should be at the door. When I heard the knock, I knew I was right in my assumption that Zach was the one getting out of that car today.

My insides were in knots as I calmly walked to the door. Just to keep up pretenses, I looked through the peephole and then tugged the door open. He stood in front of me, in all his handsome glory. His brown locks fell loosely in his eyes and framed his face while his blue eyes widened at the sight of me. Pleased by his reaction. I covered myself and feigned annoyance at his wandering eyes.

"Can I help you?" The bitch in me was at full throttle even though all I wanted to do was throw my arms around him.

"Hello Adrianna. I felt like we should probably talk before tonight. You are still going to the awards tonight?"

"Of course I am. My manager would have a field day if I didn't and my date would be very disappointed." I replied with a smirk.

His face was a look of surprise and despair. It was as if he didn't know who I was. I walked away and sat down on my couch. He closed my door and followed me. He sat so close to me, I stopped breathing. He took my hand in his.

"Why do you do this to me? You know I can't live without either of you and she would be heartbroken if she ever found out about us. I now you're hurting and it sucks but to bring a date to the awards just to hurt me? That's low even for you Adrianna." He pleaded and scolded me at the same time. I wanted to forgive him as much as he wanted to forgive me. I slipped my hand out of his.

"Forget it Zach. I'm not going to be persuaded by you any longer. Nothing is going to happen between us, I know that now. But I also can't keep up this charade and pretend I don't want to be with you. I need to move on."

"I need you in my life."

His words rang in my head before I really understood them. I looked up a moment before the sadness in his eyes turned to hunger. His lips came crashing down on mine and I made no move to stop him. He was the only one I'd ever wanted. Zach was my everything.

We pulled each other as close as we could until not even a pinkie finger could be put between us. I lay down, pulling his body on top of mine. His hands searched the contours of my body and started to push my nightie up. It was only this movement, that feeling, that brought me to my senses. I pulled away despite my desperate desire to stay close to him. I slid off the couch and stood with my back to him. My heart ached at the thought of what almost happened. Zach sighed with frustration.

"Ade-," He started.

"No Zach. We've been through this and I fold every time. We are not together and I will not help you cheat." I took a deep breath and collected myself.

"Adrianna, I can't leave you. You mean the world to me. She just means the world to me too."

I walked to my door and placed my hand on the handle for a moment before turning it and holding it open for him. I took a deep breath to keep the tears from flowing freely.

"Well, I know you won't have me. It's time I move on. Go be with her. She loves you and you shouldn't hurt her this way."

I watched him stand and straighten his clothing. He walked to me and before I could stop him, he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back but I could tell he kissed me with a sense of despair tinged with desire for me, my heart and my body. I turned away and then he walked out. Without a word. I closed the door and then sank slowly to the floor. I clutched at my sides as if they could somehow heal the pain of losing the only one I'd ever loved as the tears fell freely. Before I realized it, I decided I already knew the answer to coping. To live the lifestyle I had so brilliantly perfected.

I stared at the opening of the elevator before strutting across the marble floor of the lobby. My attitude had changed from the mere half an hour I had been upstairs. I was no longer the same sniveling little girl I had been in front of Zach. I was not the bitch in control of my future and that mean protecting my heart. No more boys. I wanted men. Only men. And only the men who can satisfy me without growing attachments because there would be no attachments. And with an outfit to match my attitude, there was no way I couldn't succeed.

Pulled over my black stiletto heels, the skinny jeans curved precisely to the shape of my body like a second skin. My hot pink tank top curved to my breasts as if I had grown a cup size. There was nothing I could not do today and I damn well knew it. My assistant was waiting in her appropriate place, awaiting my arrival. My car was parked with the driver outside, waiting to open the door for me. What the hell was I thinking saying being famous isn't everything? This life, this feeling of being on top of the world, it was everything.

My appointments had been taken care of and I was now choosing a gown for the awards tonight. It needed to be sleek and fitted with an ample amount of skin showing. This was my moment to flirt with every eligible bachelor and get a little drunk and celebrate my life. I was up for three awards: Best Female Actress, Best Onstage Kiss, and Actress of the Year. Two out of three I was competing with the lovely Cynthia so I was determined to look outstanding so I would still outshine her even if I lost.

I settled on a simple red dress. One that curved exactly to my body. Below my hips, about mid-thigh, the dress flares and creates a beautiful shape on me. I chose classic black pumps to complete my attire and added a black diamond choker to the ensemble. My make-up was immaculate and simple save for dramatic eyes with lashes for days. Sweeping my hair to the side and leaving it wavy, I was ready. I grabbed my black clutch and was on my way. I left through the back entrance of the Waldorf and entered the limo. I glanced at my phone. Five in the evening. Perfectly on time.

"You look stunning." A voice to my left said. I turned and looked at my date. He was incredibly handsome but a bit of a playboy. Which was entirely perfect for what I needed for tonight. A no strings attached date for the evening. Sandy blonde hair. Piercing blue eyes. An acceptable pairing for the night.

"Thank you. You look quite dapper yourself Mr. Helund. Did you do all this for me?" Cue coy flirting.

"Of course. Though I was a bit surprised when you called. I thought I'd struck out with you on set. I'm thoroughly grateful for the second chance though."

His voice was so deep and sexy. Why didn't I think of him before? "I was a little, preoccupied during our time together. That's taken care of now. I'm glad you were open to the suggestion."

He reached for my hand and wove his fingers through mine. Warmth spread through my body. He leaned in, without hesitation, and kissed me directly below my ear, on my jawbone. My breathing became shallow. Why weren't we there yet?

"Every man will be jealous you aren't on their arm this evening." He whispered. I'm sure my cheeks were flushed now. No need for blush tonight it seems. I knew nothing about this man's personality but his overwhelming physical appearance was having an effect on me and I didn't know how I was going to control myself much longer. Thankfully, the limo stopped precisely at that time.

Joshua Helund looked up at me and through lidded eyes, I watched his lips form into a smirk. "Shall we?"

The door opened and he stepped out, straightened his jacket and reached his hand in to assist me. The second my hand appeared, the cameras were flashing more than before. No one knew who I was just yet but the mere fact that Joshua Helund had a date was news enough. Then my face appeared. The questions began.

"Look over here! Adrianna! How long have you and Josh been an item? Are you together?!"

"Josh! Josh! Are you giving up your playboy lifestyle and settling down?! Is it serious?"

We simply smiled and posed for pictures. You never want to answer questions on the red carpet. Crowd is too loud and everything will be misconstrued. I can guarantee you that.

I noticed another limo pull up and the door open. I sucked in a breath. There he was, looking every bit the gorgeous man I kissed in my living room this morning. Oh, how I still ached for him. But my plan was working. Zach and Cynthia weren't attracting near as much attention as Josh and I were. He pulled me closer and snuck a kiss on my cheek. Everyone went wild. I glanced shyly away, conveniently in the direction of Zach. I caught his gaze. I saw jealousy, anger and hurt. But I just smiled. I was done being the hurt one. It was his turn.

I turned back to Josh and we continued down the carpet, stopping every now and then for a picture and then proceeded to the waiting area before the show started. This was where credible interviewers were and luckily for us, drinks. After ensuring I was comfortable, Josh went to grab us two flutes of champagne. In the time it took him to walk away, I was ambushed.

"Well, look who decided to show up. Did you want to accept defeat in person?"

"Hello, Cynthia. Zach. I hope you are having a pleasant evening. It'll be exciting to be competing against each other again. For my sake, I hope it plays out like last time." Silly bitch. Didn't she understand that insults made me rise to the occasion, not back down?

Cynthia's face turned to stone and then curved into an ugly sneer. Stupid brunettes. They didn't know how to have a pretty bitch face.

"Well, we know who won the last battle, don't we?"

I will admit, I thought she had me there. But then I realized, I didn't have to be the bigger person.

"Yes we do. By the way, thank you for returning my penthouse key today Zach. I really appreciate it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must join my date."

I will not be defeated. I will not back down. I will always win.