Is it Growing Up?

Is it growing up?
Feeling alone even when I am surrounded
by people who love me?
Is it growing up when I feel stifled
even as I enjoy the warmth of my last months at home?

Is it growing up when I feel as if I am three feet tall,
even as I reach new heights of maturity and I hit six foot?
Is it growing up when I claw for responsibility,
but yet still feel inadequate?

Is it growing up when I cannot talk to you
but I can talk to most anyone else?
Is it growing up when I feel like the biggest fish in the pond,
and yet still feel out of my depth?

Is it growing up when I feel confused about my life
even as my plans for the future develop into certainty?
Is it growing up when I want to make you proud, to make you happy
yet at the same time I want to tell you it's my life and I will screw it up how I like?

I somehow find it hard to believe.

Author's Note: I wrote this poem as I have recently felt a range of different emotions and did not quite know how to deal with them. I have resolved the majority of the problems in this, but I thought that you may enjoy it. If any of you out there feel a similar set of issues, do not hesitate to ask advice from me!