2I decided to write a little from 'his' perspective. Its not perfect, but I think I think I will leave it as is until more comes to mind.
I keep waiting for the inspiration to hit. It's been over a year since October was born. One would think I would be able to write a song for my daughter. No, instead I sit here, staring into her big, green eyes, mesmerized by the soft coos she lets out when she reaches for my acoustic. Her soft black hair is now a mass of springy curls and they bounce when she changes targets and starts to reach for me. Unable to deny my sweet girl, I pick her up and set her in my lap. I fin d myself smiling as she starts to grab and poke at the strings of the guitar.
I think a large part of my writer's block is that I don't think I can create anything that could even possibly rival the beauty that comes from having October in my life. The range of emotion I feel could never be rivaled or explained by a song or melody. This little girl has my heart in her tiny hands and I never thought this kind of unconditional love was possible.
Of course, I love her mother. When I left, I thought I needed more. I was wrong. Finding out about October really help put things into perspective. I still remember what her mother said when I apologized.
It won't be perfect, but I forgive you.
When I look at our daughter, I can't help but disagree. No matter what happens, I can't help but think that it will be perfect, as long as I have them. My fiance says I am idealistic as she kisses my forehead and lifts our daughter from my lap. As she leaves the room, I feel the words start to come to me. I rush to grab some paper and a pen before they escape me again.
Sometimes when you're lost and you don't know where you stand
darling, just reach out your hands
I will be there to soothe your fears and banish your tears
I won't be perfect, but I love you
Simple words, but they say things I want her to know. I want them to both know that even if I left once, I will never make that mistake again. I couldn't imagine life with out my girls. I shake my head and stand, moving to join them in the living room. I leave the words there, intending to add to them later, when I have more to say.
I spend the rest of the day with my little family, watching October grab at butterflies in the yard and my love takes pictures. Watching our daughter, I cant help but mention that maybe we should have another, so October isn't alone. She smiles and kisses me. I can see the answer in her eyes. Its almost impossible to believe I almost missed out on all of this.
A year later, we wait for August to join us. She rubs her swollen stomach and hums a soft melody to him. October is fascinated and can't wait to meet her 'Augus.' I still haven't finished her song, but now I have a feeling when I do, It will be their song.
August looks more like me than October does, with soft blond hair and light brown eyes. October adored him from the moment they met. She dragged her favorite stuffed animal over to his crib and gave it to him, a smile on her face. When he cries, she pats his head softly and tells him that she loves him and not to cry. Watching her with him brings tears to my eyes.
I have found what I was looking for when I almost lost it. My wife and our two beautiful children. I still disagree with her though, it is still perfect.