So, she'd had sex.

With that.

Chase's friend, Drew, was in ponder-mode, with a hand over his mouth and his dark eyebrows furrowed very low and concentrated.

Chase, on the other hand, was backed into a corner in psychobabble mode.

"And — and — and —!" Heave. "The 'that' happened and we 'that-ed' aggressively and it was like 'that'."

Drew, ever so composed, dropped his hand and viewed his distressed friend. "What, pray tell, is this 'that'?"

Anyone eavesdropping on the conversation no doubt would've dubbed these two as fucking insane.

Which wasn't, like, far off.

Chase lifted her head, her heart slamming like a jackhammer — or if one wanted to get fanciful, a pneumatic hammer — in her chest. She slid down the wall, her hands tangled in her mess of blonde and brown hair. Party head syndrome; highlights were cool, damn you.

"Chase," Drew said, his voice even, "tell me what happened."

"I met him last night," Chase whispered.

Drew hesitated. "The kitten?"

Chase's eyes narrowed. "Yes. The kitten."

Drew looked pointedly at the sleeping black baby feline as it whirred out content purrs and snot-bubble sounds. He appropriately cocked an eyebrow. "Are you telling me ... you had sex ... with a kitten?"

Chase froze, eyes snapping wide. "No! Fool!"

Drew scratched his head. "But you said ..."

Chase hopped upright, and then began to wildly pace through her bedroom. "No, no, no. How is that even —? I don't want to picture it."

"Neither do I! Now that you said that —"

They both paused, dramatically flinched, and then tried to recover.

Chase shuddered in a finalizing moment, and then carried on: "I'm saying this kitten was a boy last night."

A long, deserted silence greeted her. She stopped pacing to peer at her perplexed friend.

"H-how much sleep have you gotten lately?" Drew embarked.

Chase's slender shoulders slumped. "Dude, don't."

"No, I'm serious. How much —?"

They both froze when a loud yawn interrupted them.

They turned to look at the kit. It was slowly raising itself off its belly, little legs stretching as its back arched. Its jaw was open wide as a very audible, humanlike yawn escaped from it.

The kitten blinked bleary green eyes up at them, and then scratched its head.

"Yo, I need whiskey," the cat declared. "A little bit o' the snake that bit ya, if you know what I'm talking about."

Drew promptly grabbed the cat with a pooper scooper and flung it out the window.

AN: okay, to be clear, this isn't bestiality with a ... er, kitten. He's got a human form ;)