Your eyes are not deceiving you. This...is...

Mayonnaise

Life...

Is like trying to open one of those stupid mayonnaise tubes in the school lunchroom.

You can never figure it out

But that hamburger would be a whole lot better ...!

...With mayonnaise...

Just like life, really

If you ignore my idiosyncrasy

Of comparing life to a condiment

Sometimes, you just gotta tap a friend on the shoulder and say: "Get this for me, will ya?"

But that's okay!

Just like life, some cases you need help

Every person has that one mayonnaise tube in their lives

That make you throw life down on the table, give up, and eat tasteless meat

And the more mayonnaise tubes you conquer, the less aggravating they will be.

Now, you may not take this seriously

After all, it's a poem about mayonnaise. Why. Would you click on a poem titled Mayonnaise?

...I wouldn't either

But if there's one thing I know,

It's that mayonnaise tubes are hard to open