confessions of a sidekick. episode1

A decided to drag me away from our cockblockers and into the crowd of assumably single hotties.

"Do you think M was hitting on me more than usual?"

In my slightly inebriated state of mind, I respond, "Oh definitely - more so than usual. " This is a total lie by the way. I have never seen the interactions between A and M before so really only garbage is spewing out of mouth like a washing machine gone crazy. A, nonetheless, is content with this response, and swinging her massive arm around me she pushes me into the crowd.

I have to keep in mind that I am just a wingman and entering the sea of opportunities with a leggy blonde will really hinder whatever small chance I had of catching some guy's attention.

"Hey Ladies! It smells really bad here..blah blurgh blheudhdlgh..." This is what it seems to me what a crusty perv says to us as we move closer to the cute guy in the white polo. The crusty perv is the one who actually smells bad - like stale fish bad.

A says something to him, but my eyes can't seem to focus since there are so many opportunities now and some are actually catching my eye and smiling. I try to make the most of it and mouth "rescue me" to some guy in orange. He smiles and kind of makes fun of me from across the floor but alas to no help. Woe is me.
A takes control of the situation and me, and moves us away from the Crusty Perv and right into the lovable guy in white. Yay!

"HI" A says with a lovely smile, beer half empty in her left hand. I give him my best smile as well. Even as a sidekick I don't really want to be a sulky sidekick. He shakes our hand and introduces himself to us. I have no idea what he called himself and he sure as hell couldn't pronounce mine. He says something about his sidekick who's around somewhere. I am excited. Now i don't have to worry about being a third-wheeler. I am hoping he comes by soon because the cute guy in white is too tall for me to even try and make conversation with him. Hell he's even tall for A.

"We should go dance!"

I look up at Tall Guy and respond, "We most certainly will - as soon as we finish these drinks."
A adds, " Yah, they wouldn't let us go dance with our drinks in our hands - how rude not letting me do the two things I love doing - Together!" She laughs. I laugh. He laughs. Its all lovely.

When I finally finish my drink after chatting with an old classmate, Tall Guy's sidekick - ironically ridiculously Short Guy - grabs my empty glass and puts in on the bar.
"There I did you a service. Its easier this way."

Right..more so creepy. Did he actually say service?

"hahahah. thanks I guess, " is what I really say with a smile and turn to cute orange guy who's smiling at my encounter but still not doing anything. Ugh boys!

A drags me to the floor. The boys do not follow. What the efff?!

After some crazy dancing, the boys come to the floor (including orange guy) and dance behind us and then leave. Lame! I leave for some patio watching. When I come back mission complete: A is dancing with Tall Guy.