Perfectly Flawed

The Siege

"I like flaws. I think they make things interesting." -Sarah Dessen

I can't wait to fall in love. I hear it's painful, but what's life without a little pain? Like they say, no pain, no gain. And besides, I hear love is pretty freaking awesome most of the time.

I wonder who the guy will be. He won't be perfect. Of course not. Who likes perfection? That's too intimidating. So what will he be like?

I've spent hours thinking about my ideal guy and I think I know exactly what I want.

He'll be handsome, but not too handsome. No, that's boring. He'll have dark, intense eyes that are kind of small and cute, and dry lips that like to stretch into wide smiles. He'll have soft hair that looks good in any color, but best in its natural black. But he'll have split ends. Definitely split ends. They're endearing.

He'll be funny in a cute way and cute in a manly way. He'll smile all the time, huge, happy smiles that expose his white and slightly crooked teeth. He'll be awkward sometimes, but it'll be adorable, and he won't mind if I tease him.

He'll be passionate and caring, though he won't like to show his emotions very often. He'll hate seeming weak and vulnerable, and it will annoy me at times, but I will come to tolerate and understand his need to always look strong. Because I will be vulnerable and cry for the both of us.

He'll be taller than me, that's for sure, but not too tall, because I want to be able to stand next to him and rest my head on his shoulder. In keeping with his strong and manly image, he won't like PDA or touching in public, and this will anger me often, because I am a very touchy-feely kind of person when showing my affection and I like to show my affection all the time. But he will know this about me, because he will know everything about me, and apologize with words- simple, meaningful words that he'll speak from his heart.

And I will know everything about him, or slowly come to know everything, because he will not open up his soul easily; it'll be a challenge for me to knock down his walls and make my home in his heart. But I will do it and he will let me because we will fit each other just right.

I will bother him with my sensitivity, with my bubbly personality, with my questioning nature, with my naivete. He will want distance from me and it will hurt me but I will give it to him because what he wants will be more important that what I want. I will be sad without him and vow to change, but he will come back to me and tell me that he loves me for who I am and that I should never change for anyone, not even him. And I will continue being myself, occasionally annoying him, and he will continue being himself, occasionally annoying me, and we will separate many times, but we will always find each other again.

Because our souls will fit like lock and key, just like my heart will fit with his heart, my hand in his hand, my head on his shoulder, my lips to his lips.

Because we will make up for each other's faults and we will complement each other's virtues.

Because neither of us will be perfect, but we will be perfect for each other.

"Wow. I didn't know you were so eloquent."

I slam my diary shut and whip my head around to see my best friend grinning down at me with that amazing smile of his. My heart is beating furiously and I'm blushing at being caught writing such cheesy thoughts.

"What are you doing here?" I ask rudely.

"What, I can't just pay a friendly visit to my best friend?" He acts hurt.

I roll my eyes. "No, you can't, because you never do that. I wish you would come to see me to hang out but every time you come, you want something."

He smirks at me. "You know, your ideal guy sounds a lot like me."

I can't help glancing down at my diary and blushing again. "Wh-what are you talking about?"

His hands stuffed casually in his jeans, he leans forward until his face is barely an inch away from mine. His eyes flick down to my lips and I unconsciously do the same to his.

He grins. "I came here to hang out with my best friend, but now I'm thinking about going on my first date with my new girlfriend. What do you think?"

I gasp. "Are you asking me out?"

"Are you accepting?"

"You're my best friend!"

"And your ideal guy." Raising his eyebrows, he lists, "Handsome, funny, and manly? That's me for sure."

"Well, you have quite a high opinion of yourself. What if I told you it's someone else?" I raise my eyebrows back at him.

He lets out a deep, throaty chuckle. Automatically, my mind says, Note: add "deep voice" to list of criteria.

"I'd say you're lying," he answers. "Your nose is twitching."

My hand flies to my nose. He's right. Whenever I lie, my nose jerks on its own-it's really weird and annoying-and he's the only one who can always tell when I'm lying. I can never beat him at Cheat.

But he can't beat me either.

"So you're saying that you want me to be your girlfriend and you want to go on a date with me right now," I clarify.

He smirks again. It's oddly sexy. "Who said anything about you? I was talking about your sister."

"Liar. You just blinked really quickly three times." My triumphant grin melts into a look of disgust as my nose wrinkles. "Yuck, my sister? She's like ten years older than you!"

"She's still hot." He waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"You pervert!" Laughing, I shove him away from me. "Are we going or not?"

Catching his balance, he moves towards me and kisses me for the first time, shocking me into stillness. Licking his lips, he says thoughtfully, "Hm, they really do fit. Okay, look, if we go out, it's a date and you're my girlfriend. Got it?"

I nod dazedly. Those lips should be illegal. Did he really just kiss me? Am I dreaming? Or dead?

"Good. Let's go." He heads toward the door.

"Wait, hold on, I need to finish writing something. Wait for me outside," I tell him.

"Yes, sir," he salutes before leaving.

"I'm not a sir!" I yell after him.

His warm laugh floats to my ears and I smile as I flip open my diary and add:

I said I can't wait to fall in love. But I think I already have.

A/N: I get the feeling that this is a little rushed and awkward, ehehehe. xD OH WEEEEELLS

A little different from my usual style, right? I think my style is changing a lot, actually, haha. Whatevs, change is good. ;)


Write on. Read on. That's my motto.

© Copyright 2012 by The Siege