Tell me what you think, please. If you have theories, tell me them. I'm willing to listen.

For Cassie.

---

Come on darling

Go to B.E.D

Don't worry

It's okay

It's fine

You'll see

Next to the B.E.D

Is a mirror

My reflection in I see

I'm meant to be going to bed

But I look in the mirror instead

I'm not right

With lines round my hips

And spots surrounding lips

I'm not right

With my crooked teeth

Lopsided eyes

Staring back at me

I'm not right

I want to pretend I'm playdough

That anyone can mould

I'll pretend I'm playdough

That you could hold

I want to cut away my stomach

So there's nothing left

I want it flat and gone

I don't want my stomach bigger than my breasts

Let me bleach away my freckles

Instead, cover my skin with tan

Let me straighten my eyes

Let me lengthen my fingers

Until they look right

Let me make my face thinner

Let me permanently straighten my hair

Let me make that birthmark on my back

No longer there

Let me squish my stomach

So I can't eat too much by mistake

Let me turn up the corners of my mouth

So my smile looks real (not fake)

I want to get a carving knife

As I stare into the looking glass

Hoping, praying, wishing

My dreams of perfection will come to pass

Who needs intestines,

When your stomach can be flat

Who needs to be devoted

When you can be loved back

Who wants to be normal

When they can be pretty and thin

Who wants to be clever

When you can bat your eyelashes and the bouncers let you in

But I look away from the looking glass

Knowing what I wish shan't come to pass

So I abandon those hopes

Those silly little dreams

I go back to B.E.D

And when nobody can hear

I scream and scream and scream.