I'm not funny.
I guess I knew it all along. I twiddle my thumbs and spit onto the toxic grass, while the butter sun above melts onto my head; scalding me. I squint and look up, the sky seems dead but I don't care, I'm preoccupied by my thoughts.
I turn behind myself and look at the alleyway, from this wall I get a great view of the area, seeing the dirt and dust of city life. A girl appears from one end and skulks past, but she looks up, her eyes shocked to see a guy on the wall with such a broken face. She smiles twistedly and flips me off before vanishing where the sun doesn't shine.
"I'm not funny?" The question hangs in the air, as though the wind itself is puzzled by the notion.
I'd never thought myself to be anything but a hysterical clown, making a mockery of myself and society. I always laugh at the wrong things. I love the bad things and hate the good. They tell me I see the world differently; I'm wired wrong. But as I look down at the glowing green grass I can swear that the world is like that. It's always been like that.
I knew something was up when they stopped laughing. When I showed them the things I've done, people got this itchy look on their face, as though they caught wind of the devil.
I jump down into the ally-way straight into a pile of squishy trash and laugh as I walk, each step squelching under my feet. I wasn't a devil; I'm God's clown. I can feel a presence around me as I slip into the shadows between two buildings. The darkness reaches its fingers out to caress me, and I let the mangy ink wrap around my body. I can hear that girl, she still has her smile on her face; she thinks I'm funny.
I walk faster, the pavement rings under my feet, and I can see her shiny hair like an orb of light in the dark. I sprint and reach into my pocket, pulling out a baseball bat that's taller than a tree. I see her and grab her shoulder, spinning her around to face me. Her eyes are silver, and as big as the moon. Her mouth is no longer smiling but crumpled into scowl.
"Am I funny?"
I raise the bat, and she says "No!"
I slam it against her head and she falls to the ground, the air around me is alive with violet sparks and I can hear God laughing along with me. I slam the bat on her body again and again, laughing.
This is funny! Everyone….. laugh with me!
As I hit her, every movement that I make giggles with exhilaration, again and again like little girls around me. The air itself is excited! I'm the biggest clown in the world, centre stage, ready to make everyone laugh.
I pause and look at her, red straining from her head. She looks like me, with a broken face. Her moons stare at me, shinier than before. And inside I see it, even though she can't make any noise now but by God it's there, the twisted smile and her laugh.
"I knew it!" I exclaim and laugh. My laugh booms and rebounds and echoes.
I feel warm and happy knowing I've done well. Everyone likes to laugh, and I'm gonna make everyone laugh!