this will be the last

i have reaped questions instead of sunrises
and sowed aches rather than dreams.
the sky could not have been any plainer;
i wish for rain if it could make it easier,
but it would not come.

the air is filled with mistakes. blues. midnight blues
and teary skies. i yearn for something to hold on to.
something soft touches my face. a memory. misty eyes.
the past scuttles back to the earth.

a new day begins and no one stops to listen;
we walk and talk like machines.
i learned not to hesitate or to ask.
if you have become kind, i have not noticed.

and it is the saddest thing.

in promising you once,
i have saved us from myself.

but for now, i am not whole,
my soul has abandoned me,
my heart lies beating on the table.