"I know we're takin' chances, you told me life was a risk.
I just have one last question.
Will it be my heart or will it be his?
Comin' home.
I'm comin' home."
- City and Colour - Comin' Home
There's warmth with Ben. There's something beautiful about the way he brightens up a room by just being there.
There's something heart-clenching about the way Ben looks at me with his brown eyes, his smile that has taken the place of his former smirk.
There's something – something I didn't have a word for – when I see his relaxed face and remember his mask that he had let crumble for me, for there is a difference between letting a wall, a defense mechanism, down, or letting it break into little pieces.
Letting it down meant that someone was showing you a glimpse of themselves, but they were ready to put it up anytime they wanted to. Shattering your wall, however, couldn't be fixed. It meant that they broke it down and let go of pain and agony to show you, to be vulnerable right in front of you.
But with Ben there isn't only warmth. There is scorching skin when he touched me slowly, there is burning when he uses his fingers to make me feel good.
There are flames when he lets me reciprocate.
"I am always prepared for pain," Ben whispered with closed eyes as he stared up the ceiling in his room.
It was the beginning of June and Ben had promised to study with me for the upcoming finals. But somehow the books ended up staying in the bags while we landed on his bed.
His shirt was off and so was mine, the sheets around us were rumpled but we had only made out before Ben pulled back.
"All I know is that touch hurts – or well, I used to think that."
"Do I hurt you?" I ask. "When I touch you, I mean?"
"No and that fucks me up, you know? I'm used to it hurting, but now I get pissed at myself because I freeze up. No matter how often you touch me, I still just freeze. But somehow, the more you touch me, the more I allow myself to enjoy a handjob or shit. I relax more the next time, you know?"
"Then let's get you more relaxed," I giggled as I got up and straddled him, my arms roaming his bare chest.
I cut off his chuckle with my lips and kissed him, pushing him into his mattress.
I felt his erection through his jeans and right into my thin shorts. Silently, I thanked the weather god for allowing me to wear these thin clothes.
Without thinking, I moved my hips slowly and elicited a groan from Ben. His hands gripped my hips and I thought he would push me away but he surprised me when he guided me up and down.
I moaned into his mouth, feeling my toes curl.
We both came with low groans and grunts and came down with harsh breaths, and all I wanted was to tell him how much I loved him, but I held my tongue, afraid of what it might mean.
So instead of saying what I wanted, I spent the rest of the day lounging in Ben's bed and talked to him.
As the sun set our light conversation changed into a heavier one.
"I still can't sleep," Ben admitted quietly and I moved my head from his chest to get a better look at him.
"Why did you never tell me?"
"Because I feel bad for feeling like shit when you are being so strong."
"I am far from strong and you know it. You've seen all my meltdowns."
"Exactly," Ben said loudly. "And every time you got up. Every time you were able to wipe your eyes. Yet, I still can't deal."
"Tell me about it," I whispered while I ached for him. I wanted so much to help him but how could I when he was too scared to tell me?
"I get freaked out when I'm alone." Ben's voice sounded fragile in the silence of his room and his breathing sounded like he was trying too hard to find the right words. "I can't even walk down a street with headphones on. I feel like I'm being watched. I can't sleep in the dark anymore. I always have a light on. And when I do sleep, I keep waking up all bewildered and shit. I'm fucking broken," he sighed and then quietly he added "I don't know how to fix myself again."
Suddenly, I propped myself up on my elbows and fixed my eyes on him.
"Don't ever say that you're weak," I told him sternly. "You survived your step-mom abusing you. You survived the pain. And you survived being kidnapped. You will be whole again; I promise I will help you. I swear you will be whole again. And if you think I'm strong then you should know I get freaked out every time somebody asks my name because I don't know what to say."
Ben wrapped his arms around me and pushed me down so my elbows gave away for me to crash back on his chest again.
I saw him close his eyes and I knew that for today we were done talking about this.
As the silence stretched around us, I found myself missing the way he talked to me.
"Ben?" I whispered and saw his eyes flutter open adoringly. "Can you tell me a story?"
His mouth formed a lovely smile and I loved the way his eyes lit up when he smiled at me.
I love you, was all I thought as I bit my tongue.
"What do you wanna hear, babe?" He asked as he brushed the hair out of my face and my heart fluttered. "Should I tell you about a love story with Aphrodite?"
"No," I shook my head softly and smiled up at him. "Tell me another love story. A real one."
"Hmm...let me think," he murmured as he started caressing my hair. "Well, there were once a boy and girl. Both of them were lost. They weren't lost in the same way but they were trying to find themselves and their paths collided. The boy and the girl were both troubled and instead of them healing each other they got sucked into real shit, but somehow they made it. They became inseparable as they shared a bond no one really got, and at the end they found themselves, and they found even more than they were looking for."
As I stared up at him, I was done biting my tongue.
"I love you, Ben," I whispered.
I watched his soft brown eyes morph into something harder, and I saw his smile drop. Suddenly, my eyes started tearing up.
I untangled myself from him and slipped out of his touch, holding up my trembling hand as I spoke.
"I'm sorry," I gasped as I put on the t-shirt I had taken off earlier. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have just blurted it out. I know how you feel about people loving you. I know that everyone that loved you hurt you, but I swear I mean it." I kept rambling as the tears spilled out of my eyes and blurred my vision of Ben.
So I turned around and ran to his door, battling with the lock for a few moments until it finally turned.
I sprinted down the stairs, not once looking back as I was too afraid I would stumble over my own feet.
There was a tiny part in me that was waiting for Ben to just catch up with me and stop me, but that tiny part crumbled to dust as I stepped out of the front door.
It wasn't raining. Maybe it would have fit if the sky had been hidden behind dark clouds and rain drops would have mingled with my tears, but there were no clouds to be seen and the sky was streaked with dark blue, gray and black lines.
I ran until I hit the curb and then I stopped because I didn't know how to get home and I didn't want to wander through Johnstown all by myself.
"Stop!" I heard someone yell, and the dust burst into flames as hope burned my lungs. I turned around and saw Ben stand in the doorway in his jeans and a t-shirt. He wasn't wearing any socks or shoes.
"Stay right there, Lucrezia Leonard!" He called out to me as he made his way to me.
And then he was right here, right in front of me crashing his lips to mine and wrapped his arms around me.
"I love you, Luce." he said as our lips parted. He wiped away a tear from my eyes. "I'm sorry I got scared. I'm sorry for letting you run for a split moment."
I didn't let him speak more as I molded my lips to his and breathed him in. As my eyes fluttered close, I could feel the warmth around me grow hotter and I felt so light.
My heart was beating like a hummingbird and all I felt was pure bliss.
Both out of breath, we pulled away for a moment.
"Say it again," Ben whispered breathlessly and I saw the wind tousle up his hair and I saw his brown eyes shine like I have never seen before.
"I love you, Ben." I smiled up at him and suddenly Ben started laughing joyfully.
Rebel-boy and Mystery-girl weren't so lost anymore.
~O~
"Are you happy, Lucrezia?" Dr Riley asked me and for the first time ever I watched her put her clipboard away.
I stared at the woman in front of me and I wanted to blurt out a yes, but then I thought for a moment longer and then I didn't know what to say anymore.
"It's a simple question," she said gently. "You shouldn't overthink it."
"Sometimes," I answered her. "I'm happy sometimes. I have happy moments like when my mom hugs me or my dad goes running with me. I don't think you can be happy all the time. It wouldn't be special then, would it? Mostly, I am okay. I still get scared and some days I feel like shit but I am okay."
Dr. Riley's face broke out into a huge grin. "Very well, Lucrezia. I am so happy to see you having made such progress. Can you tell me more about the days you feel scared? What brings out the fear?"
"Uhm," I tried shrugging. "I don't know. Sometimes it is just about walking down a busy street and seeing a man that is built just like Michael, sometimes it is at school when I feel like people are staring at me."
"Do you feel helpless in these situations?"
"Yes," I mumbled. "I've always felt like that."
"Can I suggest something?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"You say you enjoy running, don't you?" Dr. Riley started. "How about a self defense class?"
"What about it?"
"Well, I know that a lot of girls and women who either have been assaulted or are afraid of any kind of assault go to those classes. You learn how to defend yourself without injuring your attacker. It's all about using the attacker's strength for your benefit."
"Uhm.." I didn't really know what to say. "I guess I could try?"
"You have come so far," Dr. Riley said out of the blue and I looked at her strangely.
"You don't really see your progress, do you? If I had suggested a self defense class right at the beginning of our sessions you would have clamped up immediately and then you would have said no. Right now you just said you'd try. And trying is the key to everything. Leaping is always better than not moving at all."
~O~
As June warmed up considerably in Pennsylvania, we all knew what was right before us – our finals.
I had already written my English, Maths and History test. English had gone quite well, but I was uncertain about the other two ones.
"You probably won't be able to ace all your tests," Emma said next to me as she came up for air after having her head buried in a biology book.
"Wow, thanks for the encouragement," I snorted as I looked up from all of my notes.
She looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, it didn't come off the way I wanted to. I mean, you missed out so much, you know? The first tests are always the worst but you'll probably be way better next year."
"I really, really hope so."
"C'mon, let me get us some more milkshakes," Emma suggested and she got up. I followed her out of the room and chuckled softly.
Today Emma was only wearing black sweatpants with Pink written all over her ass. She also had on a white tank and her blonde locks were locked in a messy bun.
When Emma studied she meant business.
Her mama also laughed at us as we got into their kitchen. "There are more milkshakes in the fridge, kiddos."
I quickly learned that Emma needed milkshake while studying. She wouldn't eat anything but only slurp her drink.
"Thank you so much, Mrs. Chase."
"Aw, you're welcome, Lucy."
"No talking," Emma grunted. "Milkshakes." She opened the fridge and pulled two cups out. She handed me a vanilla milkshake and pointed back at her room.
Soon we were sitting on her window bench, slurping the shakes.
"We'll only take a short a break, yeah?"
"How come you study so hard?" I asked Emma.
"Because I want to have it better," she admitted quietly. "You see that we a house, but my parents bought it after they had inherited some money. I'm always afraid of asking for stuff. I want to have a job that I enjoy but also get enough money to not have to flip every coin three times. I also need a scholarship and for that I need really good grades. "
"What do you wanna do when you're older?"
"Right now I'm torn between going into business or med school."
"Wow," I whistled.
"Yeah, yeah," she dismissed it with a wave of her hand. "Let's get back to biology," she chuckled as I groaned.
~O~
Two weeks after all my finals, my parents, Ronan and I were all lounging in the living room. We were all watching a move together.
"Hey! Stop eating all my crisps," I whispered to Ronan who just stuffed his face with even more Pringles.
I grabbed his can of ginger ale and took a huge gulp.
"Hey," he hissed. "That's my ginger ale."
"And you're eating my Pringles!"
"You guys do know we have more chips and soda in the kitchen right?" My dad chuckled and Ronan threw his pillow at him.
I snorted at that and even my mama broke out into a huge laughing fit.
"Okay, okay," my mama said as she tried to calm down. "How about we talk about our plans for the summer?"
"YES!" Ronan jumped up and screamed.
"What do you mean?" I asked hesitantly, not really knowing what they were playing at.
"We like to go on vacation during summer," my dad explained to me.
"I have never been on vacation," I admitted.
"Yes, you have," my mama called out. My eyes shifted to her and I saw a sad look cross her face. "When you were three we went to Ireland with you."
"Really?" I gasped. "In an airplane?"
"How else?" My dad winked at me.
"Why don't I remember?"
"Because you were only three, cara," my mama said softly and I nodded.
"So," my dad started, looking at me first and then at Ronan. "Your mom and I were thinking about going to Italy for three weeks this year. Any objections?"
"No! I mean no objections!" Ronan said excitedly as he started jumping up and down on the couch.
"What about you?" My mama asked.
"Uhm, no objection at all," I laughed.
"Then that's settled," my chuckled and then he took the pillow Ronan had thrown at him and flung it back at that boy. "No jumping on the couch."
That night I went to bed, feeling exhausted but also happy. Tomorrow would be the last school day and then school would be out for the summer.
As I settled into my bed I sent a quick text off to Ben.
My parents are making vacation plans for this summer..
Is it okay to be really excited even if it means I won't see you for a few weeks?
Only a few seconds later Ben replied and I smiled at his response.
I'll print out a picture of my handsome face and then you will be able to look at me every day.
Is it okay if I feel like I'm already missing you?
I wasn't as quick as Ben and it took me a bit longer to hit send.
It is okay. :)
I'm going to go to bed now, good night.
I love you x
It still felt so good to be able to just say I love you without being scared or hesitant.
Good night, Lucy-Luce. :)
I love you, too. Xx
Ben
With a smile, I put my phone under my pillow and closed my eyes. As I felt my exhaustion thicken and when I was at the brink of falling asleep, I heard the phone ring in the house but I was too tired to really care about it.
With thoughts about I love yous and lovely texts I fell asleep.
The next morning I slept in and woke up way too late which resulted in me skipping breakfast and getting dressed in record time.
My dad and I were both rushing to the car as he skidded out of the driveway.
"Shit, we both slept in," he groaned as he sped up. "Sorry for cursing."
"Cursing isn't on top of our problems right now," I chuckled.
My dad relaxed once we were on the highway and he pushed the speed limit.
"Hey, honey? Did you hear the phone last night?" His eyes flickered over to me for a second.
"Yeah but I fell asleep shortly after that."
"It was Julie, your old friend. She wanted to stop by way earlier but her son got the flu. She might come over in the summer, if that was okay with you?"
"Of course it is!" I clapped my hands excitedly but then it felt like there was a heavy weight on my heart.
"Dad?" I asked timidly. "Is it bad that I kind of forgot all about her coming?"
It was silent in the car until my dad turned right, leaving the highway.
"No," he said quietly. "Frankly, I would have been surprised if you'd think of it every day. You had it so hard coming back into your life. There was so much on your mind and we didn't even really speak of her much. Truth be told, if it wasn't for your mother checking up on Julie every week, I would have forgotten it, too."
"But she was my childhood friend..."
"Peter Willock was my best friend in elementary school, and by high school we had already lost touch completely. It's life. At least Julie and you want to reconnect," he said gently and I nodded.
"Will she bring her boy, too?"
"Hell yes!" My dad chuckled. "That boy is so cute and so fun to be around with."
Soon my dad dropped me off at school with a kiss on my forehead.
"See you tonight," he waved as I closed the door. After school I had plans to hang out with Ben and he'd bring me home so my dad didn't have to do it.
I slung my messenger bag over my shoulder and walked up to the school.
It was funny how I didn't try to make myself smaller as I made my way through the crowd. I even made myself bigger by straightening my shoulders and holding my head high. I was done looking down. I was done being weak.
"Hey, Lucy!" Lily waved at me as she passed me.
"Hi," I smiled brightly at her.
The atmosphere in the hallway was contagious; it felt so high as everyone knew that summer was only a few hours away.
I was the last one to arrive in my biology class and with an apologetic smile I made my way to my seat.
"Hola, señorita," Emma blew me a kiss before she hugged me quickly. "How come you're not the first in class?"
"I may or may not have overslept," I whispered.
"At least you got the whole summer to sleep away."
Mr. Welch called us all to attention and then ordered for two students to roll the TV in.
They were back with an old TV in no time, and with a shit-eating grin Mr. Welch held a DVD up.
"So since it's the last day of school today, we're going to watch some High School Musical."
The whole class groaned and I just looked around me nervously, not understanding what the fuss was about.
"It was a popular movie a few years back. It's for young teenagers," Emma leaned into me and explained in a hushed voice. "We all had a High School Musical phase once – it's why everyone is groaning. It's fun to watch, though! You'll see."
Emma was right. As the movie started, I started chuckling at the cheesiness but it was also sweet.
When the song in the cafeteria started, a fourth of the class started singing.
"What is happening?" I hissed at Emma who was grinning like mad.
"I told you. Everyone had a High School musical phase."
When we were almost to the end of class, the movie was far from finishing but Mr. Welch stopped it anyway.
"I know what scene you're all looking forward to and since we don't have more time I'll just skip to it."
"What the heck are you doing, Mr. Welch?" A kid called out but Mr. Welch didn't say anything but just went back into the menu and changed the scene.
The film went back to see all the students in the gym. The whole class erupted in cheers and a few girls even stood up as the song started playing.
"C'mon!" Emma grabbed my hand and pulled me up to stand. She was clapping her hands to the music and singing loudly.
"We're all in this together." The whole class sang in unison when the bell rang but Mr. Welch didn't stop the movie.
"Have a great summer, kids!" Mr. Welch called out over the music and suddenly the door flung open as the class started walking out.
Emma and I gathered our stuff and followed the students out as everybody still sang to the movie that was playing.
"I swear I will make you watch the other movies with me," Emma laughed as we got into the hallway. "I have them all on DVD."
"We have all summer to do it," I chuckled and Emma nodded enthusiastically.
The rest of the day wasn't nearly as funny as my first period but none of my teachers were bothered to do anything so we either watched movies or just talked about the school year.
When Coach Skinner finally dismissed my P.E class, everyone started cheering as we made our way to the locker rooms.
The whole locker room was a jumble of girls singing, dancing or hugging each other.
"School is finally out!" Lily hugged me and kissed my cheek.
I was the first one to have changed back into my clothes.
"Have a great summer," I called out as I left the locker room and I could hear another rounds of cheer behind me.
I found myself anticipating the summer as much as I was already missing school in an odd way. I couldn't wait to come back in fall and then I realized it would be the first time I would go back to the same school after summer.
That realization made me grin from ear to ear and I couldn't even stop it upon seeing the dark sky as I stepped out of the gym.
My eyes scanned the parking lot and I saw Ben lean against his truck, this time without a cigarette.
The joy in my chest expanded and suddenly I started running, feeling like I could take off and fly any second and when I was finally close enough I took the leap and jumped, landing on Ben as he held onto me while I wrapped my legs around his hips.
"Umpfh," he groaned.
"Sorry, sorry!" I laughed as I hugged him and tightened my legs around his. I could hear cat calls around me but I didn't care.
"You are sure as fuck happy."
"Yep," I laughed and gave Ben a peck on the mouth.
"If you wanna leave this godforsaken school then you gotta unwrap those legs, babe."
Hastily, I unwrapped my legs and Ben helped me put my feet on the ground.
"Let's get going," I called out to Ben as I sprinted to the other side of the car and jumped into the passenger seat.
The sky opened up on our way to Ben and fat rain drops spilled out of the dark clouds. I saw tree branches move to the harsh wind, and when we were finally at Ben's, we ran to the door and we were soaked from only being in the rain spray for maybe five seconds.
Ben unlocked the door and we ran into the hallway.
"Hey there," Henry round the corner and I saw the corners of his mouth lift as he took us in.
Ben and I were soaked to the core as we dripped on the carpet.
"Well, I guess I should take an umbrella with me, huh?"
"Where are you going, Henry?" Ben asked him and I saw Henry look sheepishly.
"To Eve," he admitted quietly. Henry had come around a few weeks ago and told Ben about his new girlfriend. Ben had yet to meet her but both he and Henry were hesitant when it came to a possible meeting.
"Oh okay, have fun or shit?" Ben chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah." It almost looked like Henry was blushing. "There's food in the kitchen. Don't give me trouble, kiddos."
Henry grabbed an umbrella and with a "bye" he left, and Ben and I were alone in the house.
"I think we gotta change our clothes," Ben said as he stared me up and down.
"Would you mind giving me a t-shirt and some sweatpants, Ben?" I asked him and I saw him swallow thickly before nodding.
"Wait, I'll get you some stuff," he said and then I watched him run up the stairs. He came back, dressed in a white V-neck and black sweatpants. He gave me a bundle of clothes.
Suddenly, I blushed. "Uhm thanks, I'll just go change in the bathroom, yeah?"
I walked to the bathroom and took off my clothes and put on his. There was a pair of gray sweatpants that were too big on me. I had to roll them around the waist a few times. Then, he had given me a blue t-shirt that was also too big on me.
It felt like I was swimming in his clothes.
I walked back to where Ben was still standing, and when he saw me, his face took on a weird expression for a second before it went back to normal.
"Let's eat and watch some TV," Ben said and I found myself following him into the kitchen.
"Can we please not watch any reality TV show crap?" I asked Ben as he piled some lasagne on my plate.
"Your wish is my command, milady. "
We settled into the living room and Ben kicked off his shoes and put his feet on the table.
He turned the TV on and watched some mindless shows.
The rain kept hitting against the windows, a constant ping echoing in the room. Then suddenly, we could hear the rain came down more heavily and then there was a loud crack.
I screamed out loud and put my hands above my ear.
Lighting flashed and I knew there was no rational reason to be afraid of something like that, but there was no denying the flash of panic in me.
Ben wrapped his arms around me and suddenly he was pulling my hands away from my ears.
"Shh, Luce," he whispered. "It's just thunder."
"I know," I whispered but my voice cracked at the end.
"Let's go up into my room, okay?"
I nodded but made no move to move. Abruptly Ben lifted me and carried me up the stairs.
I stared at him with wide eyes, amazed by how determined he looked.
He put me gently down on his bed and started taking off my shoes. Then he was right next to me, hugging me tightly.
There were no words being said as the lightening continued. I jumped every time more thunder cracked or when the wind hit the windows but Ben never stopped holding me.
It went on like this for hours. While the lightning and thunder had stopped, there was still so much rain and I didn't understand how it just wouldn't stop. Suddenly, a phone rang and Ben jumped up and retrieved his phone from his desk.
"Hello?" He answered it. I could hear another phone ring. Mine.
It was a distant ring but I knew immediately that it was coming from my phone that was downstairs.
I jumped up and ran down the stairs and the phone never stopped ringing.
I fumbled around with my bag until I finally got it out.
"Yes?" I answered it breathlessly.
"Lucrezia?" My mama's worried voice sounded shrill over the phone.
"Yes?"
"Where you, cara?"
"I'm still at Ben's."
Then I heard her sigh, in relief maybe? "Thank god," she mumbled. Then she spoke clearer "Stay there, okay? A tree already fell over here and I don't want you on a highway in this weather."
"So you want me to stay at Ben's?"
"Yes, cara. I don't want you guys to drive at night either. Can you stay the night?"
"I guess so."
"Are you okay?" My mama asked, the worry was back in her voice in an instant.
"Yes, yes," I mumbled. "The thunder kinda startled me."
"Okay, hun. I'll see you tomorrow, yes?"
"Okay, bye, mama."
"I love you, Lucy. Bye, hun."
"I love you, too." I said and then hung up on her.
This time I took my phone with me as I went back into Ben's room.
Ben was standing in front of the mirror, and when he heard me come in, he turned back around.
"Henry just called," he started. "He's not coming home tonight since the weather won't allow it."
"My mama called, too," I said. "She said a tree already fell in Blairsville and she said to not drive in this weather."
"So I guess it will only be us two until tomorrow."
The moment Ben said it, the atmosphere around us changed. The air grew heavy and slowly I walked to him.
He noticed the change too because in one move he was right in front of me and kissed me gently.
Everything was going slow as I led Ben to his bed and we dropped on it clumsily.
We kissed not with haste but slowly, savoring the taste.
Ben's warm hands were on my stomach and I felt him pulling at my shirt until it was off.
"Beautiful," he whispered as he kissed around my stomach and then he took his time taking my bra off.
"I love you, Ben," I mumbled as I took his shirt off and threw it in the furthest corner.
"I love you, too my not so mysterious girl anymore."
He undressed me slowly and when all barriers between us had shed he went back to kissing me.
"I want you," I whispered against his full lips.
"I'm scared, Luce." His voice was only a broken whisper. In the far distant I could hear thunder picking up again.
"I am, too," I admitted quietly and maybe it was my admission that did it because suddenly Ben kissed me again, but this time with more urgency.
Then, Ben pulled back and I watched him get up and open the drawer of his nightstand. Then he retrieved a condom and hesitantly he ripped the foil and rolled it on.
He was back above me.
"I'm scared of hurting you," I told him as I stared up at his eyes.
"You're never hurting me. You're healing me, Luce." He whispered. "But this is gonna hurt for you...are you sure?"
"I am. Are you?"
His urgent kiss was his answer and it was the only answer I needed.
I could feel him line up at my entrance and I gasped against his mouth. He started pushing and suddenly there was pain, but yet I had never felt so good.
When he was finally all the way in I held onto his back.
"Wait, stop moving for a bit," I gasped and Ben complied.
I shifted a bit until the pain subsided to a tiny sting. "Okay," I whispered and Ben started moving tortuously.
I got lost in the pleasure and as the thunder rumbled on there was nothing in the room but me and Ben.
The air filled with low moans and groans of pleasure.
My eyes were fixed on Ben and he stared at me as he quickened his movements. I stared at him as I felt my stomach tighten and I saw the dark look in his face as I started moving with him.
My hands wound up in his hair and his elbows were caging me in the right way.
And in this moment we weren't two broken kids but two lovers.
Without warning he shifted his weight to the right arm and the other hand snaked down to where we were connected.
He started touching me and I was on fire. The knot in my stomach opened up and I came with his whispered name hanging in the air between us.
Then, his arm was right back next to my head and Ben stared me down until I saw his face comfort.
He came undone above me. "Lucrezia," he whispered as his light kisses were cherishing my skin and this moment right here was pure bliss.
"Lucrezia," he whispered again and my eyes welled up with tears as the thunder stopped.
This is my name. This is my life.
Fin
This is it, my lovely readers. This is the end.
I always thank you at the end of every chapter but you should know that I'm honestly thankful for each one of you. I appreciate every story follower and story favorite and I cherish every review you guys penned.
A special thanks to Linh for beta'ing each chapter and for kicking me in the ass when a chapter sucked. xx
Two lost kids finally found themselves in each other. This is exactly how I wanted the story to end. Thank you for joining me on this bumpy ride and I apologize for any erros that may have sneaked into the story.
God, I'm afwully proud of this story because of my two characters. If they were real I would probably throw them a party or something.
(I still can't believe it's over though)
Have a lovely weekend and drink a Red Bull for Ben and Luce (Ben would tell you to smoke a cigarette for him but smoking is bad so go and enjoy that drink)
Thank you for everything.
Be safe.
D